Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[joeactor]

[Claireliontamer]

[Tank]

Everybody that has ever coded will know this one.

[Crow]

Hahaha I like that.

[Claireliontamer]

I don't get it......

[Tank]

I don't get it......

You've never programmed have you 

[joeactor]

I don't get it......

You've never programmed have you 

A mentor of mine told me about an error message he got from an old AI language:
"Wee beasties! Wee beasties! Oh, where can ye be? These beasties have caused an error for thee!"

[Davin]

Doesn't happen to me much any more, but it happened a lot in my newb and junior developer years.

[Crow]

Doesn't happen to me much any more, but it happened a lot in my newb and junior developer years.

When it does though I bet they are a bastard.

[Davin]

If it happens now, it's usually a sign that someone checked in some bad code or I have to get the latest from our source control. So it's usually pretty easy to fix. When it's my fault, it's usually some stupid, simple mistake I made to a control or a view model. I like to clean up code so that it's easier to maintain. If I fix one bug that causes a bunch more, in my experience, that's a sign of bad and/or inexperienced programming... though not necessarily the bad programming of the person fixing the bug but there has got to be some bad programming in there that needs to be fixed.

[Crow]

If it happens now, it's usually a sign that someone checked in some bad code or I have to get the latest from our source control. So it's usually pretty easy to fix. When it's my fault, it's usually some stupid, simple mistake I made to a control or a view model. I like to clean up code so that it's easier to maintain. If I fix one bug that causes a bunch more, in my experience, that's a sign of bad and/or inexperienced programming... though not necessarily the bad programming of the person fixing the bug but there has got to be some bad programming in there that needs to be fixed.

Isn't that always the case though. I'm no programmer, my knowledge ends at HTML5, CSS3, Javascript, PHP and a tiny bit of C and Objective C (the later two I don't have enough time or an idea to drive me to learn it properly). I usually find sorting one thing that is cross devices related will then throw up a new problem that effects all those that were fine before, usually very easy to fix but by changing one thing this will impact others.

[Davin]

Yeah and sometimes (more often than it should), the devices are not built to their white doc specs, which are the more annoying bugs: the ones that aren't my fault but I have to program a work around for.

[Asmodean]

The Asmo disapproves of the cat. 

[Siz]

[Biggus Dickus]

"^^" 

Here's a couple I heard recently.

A drunken man who smelled of beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face plastered with lipstick, and a half empty bottle of vodka was sticking out from his coat pocket. He opened a newspaper and started reading, and after a few minutes turned to the priest and asked, " Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"

"My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, a contempt for your fellow man,sleeping with prostitutes and lack of bathing"

"You don't say, well, I'll be damned", said the drunk, returning to his paper.

Some moments later the priest having thought about what he said turned to the drunken man and said, " I'm very sorry sir, but I didn't mean to come on so strong and should have been more considerate regarding your question." How long have you had arthritis?"

"Oh I don't have arthritis Father, I was just reading my paper here and it says the Pope has it."


A pastor explained to his congregation that the church was in dire straits due to some unforeseen building repairs and desperately needed some extra money, so he asked them if they would consider being a bit more generous with their donations than normal. He also offered that whomever donated the most that day would be allowed to pick three hymns.
Later during the service after the offering plates were passed around the church, the pastor noticed an envelope with a large number of $100 dollar bills in it, and when he counted it out it came to $1,000!
He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with the rest of the congregation, and said he would like to personally thank the person who placed such a large sum of money in the offering plate.
In the back of the church a very quite, demure and elderly lady slowly, and shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come forward, so she got up and slowly made her way up to the altar. The pastor thanked her and told her how wonderful it was that she felt touched to give such a generous donation that day, a sum of which would really help with the necessary repairs.
He also said her large donation meant she could pick out three hymns, and then her eyes brightened, a large smile crossed her face as she looked out over the congregation and pointed out three of the most handsome men in the church that day and said, "I'll take him, and him, and him".