Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[Tank]

Jesus walks into a bar with the twelve apostles and tells the bartender with a smirk, "Thirteen waters please".

I don't get it.....help 

Jesus is a Jew.
He asks for thirteen waters.
He turns them into wine for free.

[jumbojak]

Jesus is a Jew.
He asks for thirteen waters.
He turns them into wine for free.

You say that as though all Jews have that particular talent!

[Icarus]

Tank, Git and Icarus are traveling through a village in northern England in their Morgan sedan car. All three of them are old and hard of hearing.  Tank mumbles; "I say, is this Wembley?" Git: "No I think it is Thursday'. Icarus; "So am I, let's stop for a drink"

[Tank]

Tank, Git and Icarus are traveling through a village in northern England in their Morgan sedan car. All three of them are old and hard of hearing.  Tank mumbles; "I say, is this Wembley?" Git: "No I think it is Thursday'. Icarus; "So am I, let's stop for a drink"

That is so good 

[OldGit]

Icarus will be hearing from my lawyers shortly. 

[Niya]

Tank, Git and Icarus are traveling through a village in northern England in their Morgan sedan car. All three of them are old and hard of hearing.  Tank mumbles; "I say, is this Wembley?" Git: "No I think it is Thursday'. Icarus; "So am I, let's stop for a drink"

nice one, Gene

[joeactor]

Tank, Git and Icarus are traveling through a village in northern England in their Morgan sedan car. All three of them are old and hard of hearing.  Tank mumbles; "I say, is this Wembley?" Git: "No I think it is Thursday'. Icarus; "So am I, let's stop for a drink"

Ha! More, please!

[Essie Mae]

They're in a Morgan?!  Is there room for a little one - I'm old too?

[Tank]

They're in a Morgan?!  Is there room for a little one - I'm old too?

You can sit on my lap 

[Essie Mae]

They're in a Morgan?!  Is there room for a little one - I'm old too?

You can sit on my lap 

I'd dicing with D/death in more ways than one.

[Biggus Dickus]

They're in a Morgan?!  Is there room for a little one - I'm old too?

So the group stops to pick up the lovely Essie May and she climbs into the rumble seat with Death, and Icarus shouts back to the two of them, "We're stopping off for a drink", and Essie May says', "Oh thank you, yes I always have looked good in pink".

[Essie Mae]

They're in a Morgan?!  Is there room for a little one - I'm old too?

So the group stops to pick up the lovely Essie May and she climbs into the rumble seat with Death, and Icarus shouts back to the two of them, "We're stopping off for a drink", and Essie May says', "Oh thank you, yes I always have looked good in pink".

No, really I thought it was Old Git apologising for the stink (of one of his farts).

[Biggus Dickus]

They're in a Morgan?!  Is there room for a little one - I'm old too?

So the group stops to pick up the lovely Essie May and she climbs into the rumble seat with Death, and Icarus shouts back to the two of them, "We're stopping off for a drink", and Essie May says', "Oh thank you, yes I always have looked good in pink".

No, really I thought it was Old Git apologising for the stink (of one of his farts).

Excellent!

[OldGit]

No, really I thought it was Old Git apologising for the stink (of one of his farts).

You said that word!

[OldGit]