Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[OldGit]

[Tank]

[Claireliontamer]

[Claireliontamer]

[Biggus Dickus]

[Essie Mae]

ROFL Where do you get them all from?

[OldGit]

 

[OldGit]

Then people also send you stuff like this in emails:

An 84-year-old man goes for a physical.  All of  his tests come back normal so the doctor says,  "Harry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally?  Are you at peace with God?"

Harry replies, "God and I are tight. He knows  I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it when I get up  in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! the light goes on. When I'm done, poof!, the light goes off."

"Wow, that's incredible," the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Harry's wife. "Mrs.  White," he says, "Harry is doing fine but I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, poof! the light goes off?"

"OH GOOD GRIEF!" Mrs. White exclaims, he's pissing in the fridge again!"

[Buddy]

LOL!

[Biggus Dickus]

ROFL Where do you get them all from?

I subscribe to a lot of different news feeds, a few of which deal with this type of silliness. When I see one I like I try to save it.

Then people also send you stuff like this in emails:

An 84-year-old man goes for a physical.  All of  his tests come back normal so the doctor says,  "Harry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally?  Are you at peace with God?"

Harry replies, "God and I are tight. He knows  I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it when I get up  in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! the light goes on. When I'm done, poof!, the light goes off."

"Wow, that's incredible," the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Harry's wife. "Mrs.  White," he says, "Harry is doing fine but I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, poof! the light goes off?"

"OH GOOD GRIEF!" Mrs. White exclaims, he's pissing in the fridge again!"

I heard one similar to this, were after Harry's physical come back negative the doctor say's tells him everything looks good and does Harry have any concerns and Harry say's, "Well, one time I'll have sex and afterwards I'll get so cold I can barely take it, and than the next time I have sex I get so dern hot I can hardly breathe"!
The doc checks him over once again and since everything seems fine calls Harry's wife and explains Harry's concerns to her, and she exclaims, "That foolish Oldgit, he feels that way after sex because we only do it twice every year nowadays. Oncet in the winter and oncet in the summer"!

[OldGit]

That foolish Oldgit ....

Now, now ...

[OldGit]

Paddy rings his new girlfriend's door bell, with a big bunch of flowers.
She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in.
She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says 'This is for the flowers!'
'Don't be silly,' says Paddy, 'You must have a vase somewhere!'

[Claireliontamer]

[Essie Mae]

rofl as usual!

[OldGit]