Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[Tank]

[Dobermonster]

Hilarious, but unfortunately real, and under investigation

Also, my dogs definitely think with better grammar.  Maybe police dogs are thugs.

I remember a barrister friend sending me that, it's legit too. Apparently admin demanded a statement from Officer Peach, so his handler 'assisted'.

[OldGit]

[OldGit]

[Icarus]

^     Git did you draw that one? Classic stuff earns a silver star.

[OldGit]

Sorry, Icarus, I am totally useless at drawing.  I'm a dab hand at cut'n'paste, though.

[OldGit]

[Asmodean]

So the reason for no playground duty is..?

[Magdalena]

Because of this:

[Biggus Dickus]

I didn't get that one^^?

Two dogs are walking along a street. They are passed by a third dog driving a lorry load of logs.
One turns to the other and says: "He started by fetching a stick, and just built up the business from there.

[Magdalena]

OldGit, may I explain your joke?

[Biggus Dickus]

Magdelena I meant there is no image in your posting. (I get the joke, even if the other doesn't)

[OldGit]

It's just a load of old balls.

[Asmodean]

And you can not play newton's cradle on a flexible arm swingset why..? It doesn't add much to the minor chance of injury already there in the swingset's intended use, at least as long as the stand-ins for balls are kids, decreases the possibility of accidental inappropriate touching (Speaking of ass-grabbing that may occur with vigorous swinging) and possibly serves to teach the little assholes why in a proper newton's cradle, there is supposed to be no air between the weights when the system is idle.

[OldGit]

OK, OK, but it keeps the little buggers out of mischief.