Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[Pasta Chick]

I know skinny is the trend - which has created something of a rock and a hard place situation. I guess it goes with people generally taking ideas too far one way or another. Yeah, it's impossible to look like an airbrushed model, but that's because of airbrushing, which often has nothing to do with thinness. Not because no one is actually thin without being fake.

I don't need the world to be attracted to me. I'm glad people have different preferences. It'd be quite boring if they didn't. I'm just tired of people being douches about it.

This issue as a whole extends to my dogs, too. I have been threatened with animal control over my lean animals. Friend of mine was just in court over it - of course her crew has the misfortune of also being old, which is apparently grounds for further accusations

Just tired of it. I'll survive.

[Dobermonster]

As far as dogs go, people are used to looking at fat, out of shape dogs. And then you have a dog like mine who just have naturally low body fat and very lean muscle. So glad I don't own a sight-hound, you'd never hear the end of it.

[Pasta Chick]

I'm just happy my current dogs are so fluffy, most people don't notice.  The vast majority of dogs I see are significantly overweight.  I don't think people realize that "just 5 lb" is not the same thing for a dog, as a human!  "Just 5 lb" more on my Ember is 12% of her weight! 

Oh well. Enough sidetracking.

[Crow]

I know skinny is the trend - which has created something of a rock and a hard place situation. I guess it goes with people generally taking ideas too far one way or another. Yeah, it's impossible to look like an airbrushed model, but that's because of airbrushing, which often has nothing to do with thinness. Not because no one is actually thin without being fake.

I don't need the world to be attracted to me. I'm glad people have different preferences. It'd be quite boring if they didn't. I'm just tired of people being douches about it.

This issue as a whole extends to my dogs, too. I have been threatened with animal control over my lean animals. Friend of mine was just in court over it - of course her crew has the misfortune of also being old, which is apparently grounds for further accusations

Just tired of it. I'll survive.

I have noticed quite a nasty trend of it over here in the UK as well. It always seems to come from a particular type of person. The one thing I keep seeing when referring to those who are not skinny, slim, athletic as "real women". It's bullshit.

[Tank]

[Pasta Chick]

I hate Buzzfeed, but I lol'd

Text your parents "I got 2 grams for $40" then immediately after that, "oops, wrong person. Ignore that"

[Siz]

[Essie Mae]

Well, PC, you said it.

NEW SOUTH AFRICAN TOILET DOOR LOCK:

That is so dark and bad on so many different levels. Can't stop laughing.

[Magdalena]

^ ^ ^
I think this applies to most posts around here. 

[Tank]

[joeactor]

Nervous seal?
(poor guy)

[Biggus Dickus]

Nervous seal?
(poor guy)

I thought it had the hiccups.

[Biggus Dickus]

KNOCK KNOCK!

[Guardian85]

Who is it?  ???

[Biggus Dickus]

LITTLE OLD LADY!