Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[OldGit]

[Ihateyoumike]

^ I laughed entirely too hard at that.

[Guardian85]

A young couple went to the doctor for their annual physical exams. Afterwards, the doctor called the young man into his office and told him that he had some good news and some bad news. "The good news," he explained, "is that your fiancee has an particular strain of gonorrhea that I have only heard of once before." The guy paled. "If that's the good news, then what the hell is the bad news?" "Well," the doctor elaborated, "the bad news is that I heard about this nasty strain just last week from my dog's vet."

[OldGit]

^ 

[Pasta Chick]

[OldGit]

Well, PC, you said it.

NEW SOUTH AFRICAN TOILET DOOR LOCK:

[Pasta Chick]

Oh, I did say it.  I will rant about it too, if need be.  I've fallen victim to a particularly nasty run of skinny-shaming lately (to a point where I called a friend's father an asshole) and I'm just feeling snappish about the whole issue.

[Tank]

Oh, I did say it.  I will rant about it too, if need be.  I've fallen victim to a particularly nasty run of skinny-shaming lately (to a point where I called a friend's father an asshole) and I'm just feeling snappish about the whole issue.

Skinny-shaming! 

[Kody]

Oh, I did say it.  I will rant about it too, if need be.  I've fallen victim to a particularly nasty run of skinny-shaming lately (to a point where I called a friend's father an asshole) and I'm just feeling snappish about the whole issue.

Skinny-shaming! 

Such as:
You are so skinny, your mom enjoyed giving birth.   

You look to be a healthy weight to me. Obesity is running walking rampant around here. Our local walmart recently had to widen it's aisles.

[Guardian85]

Oh, I did say it.  I will rant about it too, if need be.  I've fallen victim to a particularly nasty run of skinny-shaming lately (to a point where I called a friend's father an asshole) and I'm just feeling snappish about the whole issue.

Your friends father probably IS an asshole, so that's perfectly justified (in my experience the majority of people fit that category at some point).

Plus, I have seen pictures of you. Don't change a thing. 

[Pasta Chick]

I am still a few pounds underweight. But I nearly always have been, and I suspect I always will be. I have a slight build. Somehow this gives people license to imply I'm shallowly obsessed with appearances; judgmental of anyone not fitting my standards, and that I don't have any quality of life because it's all about staying skinny. I've lost count of the number of times people - strangers - have straight up walked over and asked if I'm anorexic or something, let alone the number of times I've been told to "just eat a damn cheeseburger already - you need it."

It is wrong to judge individuals for their weight either way, and while I think the growing trend toward obesity should be addressed as a societal issue, I really don't give a fuck what an individual weighs. I have never in my life walked up to a stranger and said "jeez you're fat, what do eat compulsively or something?" I have no idea why it's a-ok to do it to me.

I am similarly done with memes regarding "curvy" women. I have curves too, and I am not a fucking bag of bones. Having a preference is cool. Putting down everyone who doesn't fit your preference is not.

[Pasta Chick]

And thanks for support everyone. I know it's no picnic on the other side either. I just get sick of being put down for something I can't change even if I did want to.

[Marvin]

Is that where that stuff in the corner of your eyes comes from?

[Marvin]

Oh, I did say it.  I will rant about it too, if need be.  I've fallen victim to a particularly nasty run of skinny-shaming lately (to a point where I called a friend's father an asshole) and I'm just feeling snappish about the whole issue.

Skinny-shaming!  

Such as:
You are so skinny, your mom enjoyed giving birth.  

You look to be a healthy weight to me. Obesity is running walking mobility scootering rampantly around here. Our local walmart recently had to widen it's aisles.

[Icarus]

Chill PC, you need to know that some guys, many guys in fact, think slender women to be the best looking, fittest, and of course sexiest. Then there are the legions of women who would kill just to be slender. That is what makes all those fat docs wealthy.  

There are some little signs, found near bathroom scales, that say: "You can never be too rich or too thin".