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Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

Started by no_god_know_peace, November 10, 2011, 12:46:34 AM

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Tank

#1890
November 13, 2013, 07:48:53 PM
Quote from: joeactor on November 13, 2013, 07:47:39 PM
Quote from: Tank on November 13, 2013, 07:14:49 AM
When printing goes wrong.


Hah!

Not much kerning humor out there...
It's not an arena known for its humour!
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Icarus

#1891
November 13, 2013, 10:07:59 PM
^ :o

Asmodean

#1892
November 14, 2013, 05:14:24 AM
Eh? Is it that LI can be interpreted as a U if you try..?
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

Tank

#1893
November 14, 2013, 08:00:56 AM
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Amicale

#1894
November 14, 2013, 01:16:23 PM
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: "When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion."

"I found a bear by the stream," says the minister, "and preached God's holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him."

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. "Looking back," he says, "maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision."



"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb we are bound to others. By every crime and act of kindness we birth our future." - Cloud Atlas

"To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is to never die." -Carl Sagan

Pasta Chick

#1895
November 14, 2013, 08:15:07 PM

Kody

#1896
November 14, 2013, 11:13:05 PM
Somebody showed me this at work today (NSFW btw). Hilarious!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ub3Cm0V_Z8w

Icarus

#1897
November 15, 2013, 02:14:54 AM
Kody; That was really baaaad. I loved it. ...."Turn it around"

You must work with some loose characters to have found that one. ;D

Tank

#1898
November 16, 2013, 06:30:11 AM
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Tank

#1899
November 16, 2013, 06:35:02 AM
Quote from: Kody on November 14, 2013, 11:13:05 PM
Somebody showed me this at work today (NSFW btw). Hilarious!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ub3Cm0V_Z8w
There was a blind man in a wood yard... 

"That's an old shit house door from a fish factory!"  ;D

I'm sure you can work out the rest  :D
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Icarus

#1900
November 17, 2013, 04:44:03 AM
Always a challenge eh Tank ? Lemme see....shithouse door, blind man, woodyard, etc.  ...................Hmmmm.

Tank

#1901
November 17, 2013, 02:32:29 PM
Quote from: Icarus on November 17, 2013, 04:44:03 AM
Always a challenge eh Tank ? Lemme see....shithouse door, blind man, woodyard, etc.  ...................Hmmmm.
Blind people are supposed to have a good sense of smell.
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Tank

#1902
November 18, 2013, 09:22:52 AM
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

jumbojak

#1903
November 18, 2013, 05:27:36 PM
An American explains cricket..... ;D (courtesy of Claire)

"Amazing what chimney sweeping can teach us, no? Keep your fire hot and
your flue clean."  - Ecurb Noselrub

"I'd be incensed by your impudence were I not so impressed by your memory." - Siz

Icarus

#1904
November 19, 2013, 01:23:04 AM
I always wonderd about Cricket, sticky wickets, and all that sort of thing.  I'm still wondering. Cricket is similar to Croquette in that the rules are seldom understood by commoners, and never ever by Americans. Apparently the Cricket rules are quite satisfactorily understood and practiced by the aristocracy of India. 

P.S How does one properly spell the word that sounds like; krow- kay
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