Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[Tank]

The church of the confused chicken!

[Tank]

[Claireliontamer]

Stolen from FB.....

On Monday morning, the teacher walked to the blackboard and noticed someone had written the word "penis" in tiny letters.

She turned around, but couldn't find the guilty face. She quickly erased it and began her class.

Tuesday, she was again greeted with "penis" on the blackboard, written in larger letters. She looked around in vain for the culprit, and then proceeded with the day's lesson. Every morning for the rest of the week, "penis" was written on the board in larger and larger letters, and each time, the teacher furiously erased it. By Friday, she'd had enough. "That's enough," she sputtered. "I -- I can't believe this! Monday morning, I expect an explanation for this behavior!" On Monday morning, the teacher confidently entered the classroom and found on the board: "Don't you know -- the more you rub it, the bigger it gets?"

[Tank]

[Tank]

One for Claire

[Asmodean]

One for Claire

The word tea-bagging screams its absence.

To the best of my knowledge, dogs do not percieve houses in terms of "my".

[jumbojak]

To the best of my knowledge, dogs do not percieve houses in terms of "my".

Mine does.

[Icarus]

The Asmo has evidently never had a dog. Probably has something to do with protecting his ratties.  Dogs, and even cats, do in fact own the home.

[Dobermonster]

To the best of my knowledge, dogs do not percieve houses in terms of "my".

Mine does.

So does mine. They have a very strong sense of 'mine' when it comes to territory and resources (like squeaky toys).

[Tank]

To the best of my knowledge, dogs do not percieve houses in terms of "my".

Mine does.

All mine have.

[Asmodean]

The Asmo has evidently never had a dog. Probably has something to do with protecting his ratties.  Dogs, and even cats, do in fact own the home.

I did not own a dog, but people I live(d) with did own several. And when it comes to property, whoever the dog percieved as pack leader always had the last say.

As for cats - don't like them. Don't care.

[Marvin]

One for Claire

How does that Python song go?

The lion seems to be smiling, maybe humming the tune.

[Ihateyoumike]

One for Claire

How does that Python song go?

The lion seems to be smiling, maybe humming the tune.

Let me take a stab at this, off the top of my head:

Sit on my face and tell me that you love me
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love yoooooou too
I love to hear you oralize... When I'm between your thighs...
You blow me awaaaaaay!

Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you
I'll sit on your face and then I'll love you truuuly...
Life can be fine if we both 69!...
And we'll sit in our faces in all sorts of places and play...
TIL WE'RE BOTH BLOWN AWAAAAAAAAAY!


yikes. I'm a nerd. Now I'm gonna google that shit and see if I still have the lyrics right. 

[Tank]

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