Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[Guardian85]

Plus it was a bad pun! 

[Icarus]

Maybe a bad pun but it made me smile. Sciency persons, like Claire, gotta go with stuff like that. It's in their DNA.. 

[Asmodean]

...and then there are the humorless evil scientists like The Asmo. 

[Tank]

[Raeven]

Here's my favorite joke of the moment.  Apologies if it has already been told -- I did not go through all the prior pages of jokes to ascertain that information.

This couple sends their kid to school, and he does pretty well, but he really struggles with math. The parents try everything to help him improve: They study with him, hire tutors, but nothing helps. Finally, at their wits' end, they decide to send him to the local Catholic school, which has a reputation for turning out great math students. Sure enough, the kid begins to improve! His progress is sudden and dramatic! One day, the parents ask him, "What was it that made the difference for you in math? All that studying, all those tutors, nothing helped. What's so special about the Catholic school's method?" The kid replies, "Well, when I saw that guy nailed to the big plus sign, I figured they weren't fucking around!!"

[joeactor]

Here's my favorite joke of the moment.  Apologies if it has already been told -- I did not go through all the prior pages of jokes to ascertain that information.

This couple sends their kid to school, and he does pretty well, but he really struggles with math. The parents try everything to help him improve: They study with him, hire tutors, but nothing helps. Finally, at their wits' end, they decide to send him to the local Catholic school, which has a reputation for turning out great math students. Sure enough, the kid begins to improve! His progress is sudden and dramatic! One day, the parents ask him, "What was it that made the difference for you in math? All that studying, all those tutors, nothing helped. What's so special about the Catholic school's method?" The kid replies, "Well, when I saw that guy nailed to the big plus sign, I figured they weren't fucking around!!"

Yeah - I like that one too ;-)

[Tank]

Here's my favorite joke of the moment.  Apologies if it has already been told -- I did not go through all the prior pages of jokes to ascertain that information.

This couple sends their kid to school, and he does pretty well, but he really struggles with math. The parents try everything to help him improve: They study with him, hire tutors, but nothing helps. Finally, at their wits' end, they decide to send him to the local Catholic school, which has a reputation for turning out great math students. Sure enough, the kid begins to improve! His progress is sudden and dramatic! One day, the parents ask him, "What was it that made the difference for you in math? All that studying, all those tutors, nothing helped. What's so special about the Catholic school's method?" The kid replies, "Well, when I saw that guy nailed to the big plus sign, I figured they weren't fucking around!!"

Yeah - I like that one too ;-)

Lot's of variations on this theme, and all of them make me giggle 

[Tank]

Texts from a dog!





More here http://www.sadanduseless.com/2012/04/texts-from-my-dog/

[Tank]

[Tank]

[joeactor]

Both good!
Both start with a "P" (like Pirate?)
Both are black and white.

Need a third one, yes/no?

[Tank]

Both good!
Both start with a "P" (like Pirate?)
Both are black and white.

Need a third one, yes/no?

Go on 

[Pasta Chick]

[catmandeux]

..

[Tank]

Not so much a joke as a truism.