Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[Claireliontamer]

Not really a joke as I want this shirt......

[Icarus]

^^ Typical attitude of a caring dad. I know that first hand because I have a daughter.

[Asmodean]

...So is there also a t-shirt for heterosexual fathers, or..?

That said, good luck getting me pregnant 

[Guardian85]

Not really a joke as I want this shirt......

If I ever have a daughter, I won't need that sort of shirt. I'd just want five minutes to show her would-be suitors my sword collection.

[Asmodean]

You think you would impress or intimidate someone with a sword collection? Nonono, you see, all you would achieve by doing that is your daughter not speaking to you for a month and her whatever thinking you a weirdo. Not the dangerous kind either. The art of intimidation is in behaviour, not in gadgets that require a demonstration of skill and intent to work as props.

[Niya]

You think you would impress or intimidate someone with a sword collection? Nonono, you see, all you would achieve by doing that is your daughter not speaking to you for a month and her whatever thinking you a weirdo. Not the dangerous kind either. The art of intimidation is in behaviour, not in gadgets that require a demonstration of skill and intent to work as props.

Very true, Im a daughter, so I agree. 

[Tank]

Not really a joke as I want this shirt......

If I ever have a daughter, I won't need that sort of shirt. I'd just want five minutes to show her would-be suitors my sword collection.

I'm sure that should do the trick.

In fact 1) should be; If you don't have a job leave now!

[Asmodean]

I'm surprised that so few seem to point out the flaws with 3, 7 and especially 10...

And T, in this day and age, who the hell is intimidated by their in-law's sharps drawer? 

[Tank]

I'm surprised that so few seem to point out the flaws with 3, 7 and especially 10...

And T, in this day and age, who the hell is intimidated by their in-law's sharps drawer? 

10 probably alludes to the fact that if the BF shags the daughter the father will shag the BF. Mind you the father is up shit creek if his daughter enjoys receiving oral sex.

[Niya]

Not really a joke as I want this shirt......

If I ever have a daughter, I won't need that sort of shirt. I'd just want five minutes to show her would-be suitors my sword collection.

What if the suitor had a bigger collection of guns, swords, what then? intimidation won't always work.

[Tank]

Not really a joke as I want this shirt......

If I ever have a daughter, I won't need that sort of shirt. I'd just want five minutes to show her would-be suitors my sword collection.

What if the suitor had a bigger collection of guns, swords, what then? intimidation won't always work.

A chastity belt.

[Asmodean]

Yeah... That will work! 

Let your daughter do her own bloody dating and get out of her bloody way. When the shit hits the fan, offer support. Otherwise, who the hell are you to dictate her love/sex/love-and-sex life?

[Niya]

Not really a joke as I want this shirt......

If I ever have a daughter, I won't need that sort of shirt. I'd just want five minutes to show her would-be suitors my sword collection.

What if the suitor had a bigger collection of guns, swords, what then? intimidation won't always work.

A chastity belt.

with the key in dad's pocket, 

[Amicale]

My dad left when I was 12. He never warned me about dating partners. He never really bothered to ask - as long as I had no complaints about who I was dating, he was reasonably okay with it. The one guy who would have worn this t-shirt was my grandfather... which is probably why I only brought someone home if it was serious. He might not have liked that I was bringing home girls, but as they all had a job/were doing well in school and were the 'sort you could bring home' he couldn't say much, lol!

[OldGit]

I think it's funny.  It was certainly intended to be.