Infant Baptism...do I have to attend ?

[no_god_know_peace]

So I have been invited to attend a Baptism by a close family member for their 8 month old kid (first one i have been invited to). I really don't like the idea of attending these things, it seems wrong to watch a kid that is too young to think for themselves be initiated as a church member without consent (to me its equally as stupid as piercing a baby's ear when they arn't even old enough to consent). I also would feel like the biggest hypocrite standing up there with the rest of the family promising that I will do my best to help this child in their "walk with god" when I don't intend on doing anything of the sort. I agreed to go to the after party for the baptism (skip the church part) but I got a phone call saying I MUST be present at the church and witness the ritual. Am I within my right for feeling uncomfortable with this ? or Am I making way to big of a deal and should suck it up ?

what do you guys think ?

[xSilverPhinx]

Do the parents know that you're an atheist?

[Heisenberg]

I don't think your out of line in any way for feeling uncomfortable. You can be there for the kid without having to contribute to his 'walk with god'. I would be insulted if a family member did the same to me and told me I HAD to go to the service. Frankly, a baptism sounds fucking awful. Can't say I've had the displeasure of being invited to one.

[Heisenberg]

Do the parents know that you're an atheist?

Yes this is a good question. Even if they don't it still irks me they would tell you that you have to be there.

[xSilverPhinx]

Do the parents know that you're an atheist?

Yes this is a good question. Even if they don't it still irks me they would tell you that you have to be there.

I would see it as a bit disrespectful if they knew that you were an atheist, but still insisted that you attend and take part in their rituals. Unless they're the type that don't think much of it, and are open-minded enough to attend godless reunions or take part in rituals of other religions that they don't share. I couldn't hold anything against those types of people.

[Tank]

So I have been invited to attend a Baptism by a close family member for their 8 month old kid (first one i have been invited to). I really don't like the idea of attending these things, it seems wrong to watch a kid that is too young to think for themselves be initiated as a church member without consent (to me its equally as stupid as piercing a baby's ear when they arn't even old enough to consent). I also would feel like the biggest hypocrite standing up there with the rest of the family promising that I will do my best to help this child in their "walk with god" when I don't intend on doing anything of the sort. I agreed to go to the after party for the baptism (skip the church part) but I got a phone call saying I MUST be present at the church and witness the ritual. Am I within my right for feeling uncomfortable with this ? or Am I making way to big of a deal and should suck it up ?

what do you guys think ?

I think you need to suck it up I'm afraid 

[no_god_know_peace]

Do the parents know that you're an atheist?

Yes this is a good question. Even if they don't it still irks me they would tell you that you have to be there.

I would see it as a bit disrespectful if they knew that you were an atheist, but still insisted that you attend and take part in their rituals. Unless they're the type that don't think much of it, and are open-minded enough to attend godless reunions or take part in rituals of other religions that they don't share. I couldn't hold anything against those types of people.

Ya they know I am an atheist but they are really religious. And I have a hunch they do not like godless reunions either seeing as they once told my mother (who is an agnostic btw) that  it is wrong that she would allow me ever get married outside the church in a civil ceremony when the time comes to do so (boy did that statement ever piss off my mom and I). Their my fam, I still love them...but they can really get under my skin sometimes when it comes to these things.

[Whitney]

I wouldn't go if they are going to be like that.

[Ecurb Noselrub]

If you show up to support the family, and they know you are an atheist, that might create some sort of goodwill, or at least show them that you aren't a devil worshiper.  You don't have to promise to do anything religious, but just being there would gain you some points, I would suppose.

[Siz]

I don't really see the problem. Why is it such an issue? Can't you just go and let the pomp and ceremony just wash over you, just like the baby will. It's only some silly words and some water, what's the harm?

Any free food and booze afterwards?

I enjoy going to these things and amuse myself by watching the congregation of non-religious family and friends squirm uncomfortably while pretending to enjoy the religious singing and prayers. I, myself am just happy to stand proudly (but respectfully) silent.

[DeterminedJuliet]

When it comes to religious ceremonies, I usually go and "play the part". I used to be a religious church-goer, so I guess I "get it" and why it appeals to some people.

My husband will physically attend events that are in churches, but he refuses to "play the part" (won't take part in communion, won't sing along to hymns, won't recite prayers, etc.) He hasn't had any family say anything to him as of yet, but he's pretty relaxed about it all.

I guess it depends on how much of a fuss you are willing to kick up.

[Heisenberg]

Maybe I'm in the minority but I can't stand being in any church/temple setting. I literally cringe every time I hear prayer.

[Xjeepguy]

I would simply tell them you are an atheist and going to church makes you uncomfortable. If they insist you go anyway, you could show up in full pirate regalia. Then they will tell you to leave. Of course this is coming from someone who has scraped off half his family.

[Sandra Craft]

I also would feel like the biggest hypocrite standing up there with the rest of the family promising that I will do my best to help this child in their "walk with god" when I don't intend on doing anything of the sort.

I'd remind them of this, and let them know I had no intention of disrespecting their beliefs by pretending otherwise.

Am I within my right for feeling uncomfortable with this?

You're within your rights feeling anything at all, whether or not it's a good idea to act on them is another matter.  To me, it looks like your family needs to start adjusting to your godlessness (trying to dictate how and where you're eventually married? c'mon) and it might as well be now since it looks like it may take awhile to get thru to them.  I think you're on the right track with just going to the party and taking a nice gift for the baby.

[BullyforBronto]

Sometimes it's best to make concessions. Really, other than being annoyed, what harm will it do to you to attend the service? This is obviously important to members of your family, no matter how misguided their beliefs seem. From my experience with my Irish-American Catholic family, baptism seems to be less about affirming belief in some deity than it is about adhering to tradition. Family's important, and if they want you to be present during a traditional ceremony, I say why not? At the end of the day, at least with my relatives, we'll all be drinking whiskey together and talking about the time(s) uncle Pat got arrested.

In short, go to the baptism. Smile at the new parents and congratulate them on their handsome baby. When the kid turns thirteen, give him/her a skateboard and a Black Flag record (CD, MP3, whatever), sit back and watch what unfolds.