Greetings from the UK

[Denty420]

Hi all,

Thought I'd pop my head in and say hi. After being a Christian for 42 years, I recently renounced my faith (well, I lost it ages ago but it took me a while to realise it, but there ya go) and am now an atheist. It was a very long and hard road to get to this journey, and I'll try and tell my story with brevity. But before I do, could one of you lovely people please answer a question for me? I've read the rules of the forum and couldn't find anything on profanity. Are we allowed to use naughty words? It's just that I have a tendency to express myself rather eloquently that way, but if they're a no-no I'll happily curb my written tourettes

I was born and raised in the North West of the UK into a CofE family. My parents weren't the slightest bit religious but they made damn sure I was. I was enrolled in a CofE primary school where, every assembly, a mini-service was conducted and hymns were sung. At the age of eight my parents sent me to a Methodist youth group with different values and belief systems than the daily worship I'd been subjected to, and on reaching age 11, I was sent to a Catholic secondary school where, as a non-Catholic, it was compulsory to attend Mass three times a week (but not take communion). So as you can see, my youth, theologically at least, was very confusing. However, like most impressionable youngsters, I drank the Kool-Aid and enjoyed it. I didn't even realise that I'd been completely brainwashed, but instead became devout. I wasn't interested in going to church - from my mixed theological upbringing, I'd developed a mistrust of organised religion. But I continued to pray and ask for answers and, of course, none came.

Around 1998 - 2000 my faith was seriously tested. I was going through some very bad personal issues, a broken relationship and debts, and I prayed hard. I asked God for answers, but eventually I had to figure it out for myself. It was then that the first seed of doubt crept into my mind, like, 'hey, what if there's no-one up there?', but I discarded it immediately.

What really caused me to seriously look at my faith was 9/11. My first thought, as a Christian watching those horrifying events unfold on my TV screen was, 'How could God allow this?' Then as more details emerged, it became more a case of 'How could God allow this to happen in his name?' It wasn't long after that that I became aware of Richard Dawkins and his views on religion. Then one day fairly recently, it happened. I actually woke up and my first thought was 'I don't believe in a God any more.' And you know something? For the first time in my life, I felt free! All these years I had the grim prospect of answering for my sins to a godhead figure, but now I realise what complete bs that all is. I was so used to feeling guilty - hell, I enjoyed it sometimes - but now I don't have to any more. To use a cliche, it's like a great weight has been lifted. It really is, and my life is so much better now. I feel so much happier in myself and I feel free.

Forgive the longevity of the above, but this is the first time I've written any of this down and it's cathartic. The thing is, though, I've been alone on this. I don't really know anyone in my personal life that can relate to the same sort of things as I've experienced, so that's why I stuck my flag up on this forum.

Thanks very much for reading this through to the end. Peace and love x

[jesuslol]

I feel so much happier in myself and I feel free.

Great to hear Denty, that's wonderful. What a drag to be trapped in that lifestyle, eh? My wife and I rode bikes through the neighborhood today and saw people leaving for church, made me want to vomit. I remember that life as a kid, so drab and gray. Or is that grey?

[Sandra Craft]

(well, I lost it ages ago but it took me a while to realise it, but there ya go)

That seems to be a common story among atheists.

Are we allowed to use naughty words?

I hope to goodness we are, because I've already called a couple of things "weird shit".

Welcome!

[DeterminedJuliet]

Welcome! Your intro was very interesting to read, and well written, I must say!

As for cursing, it's allowed (fuck yeah!)

[xSilverPhinx]

Welcome!

[Stevil]

Great story. Fantastic that you have managed to take the red pill and see the world as it is.
Never been a theist myself, but would imagine that it would be hard to break out of that position, they work very hard at redefining people's thoughts and even the words people use. Makes it so confusing for theists and atheists to discuss/debate theology/reality when our words have different meanings.

[Siz]

Welcome to Atheism - the land of the free!
And congratulations on finally getting here. You'll meet plenty here with similar stories, though not many quite so mixed.

Tough that you had such a confusing education. Can you expand on why all the faith schools?

[Tank]

Hi Denty420

Swearing isn't against the rules and if for some reason you're creative use of language does cause concern for some reason (which I doubt it will) then one of the staff will drop you a PM explaining why.

Great introduction and I have read similar many times, particularly the 'There is no God!' epiphany. Having never been a believer I sort of wish I could have had that feeling but I am assured by those that have that it ain't worth the prior pain!

As you are in the UK at least you won't be suffering the persecution issues that atheists face in many countries in the world. Go Blighty!

Welcome to HAF

Regards
Chris

[Denty420]

Thank you all for the lovely responses and welcomes, and thanks for clearing up the profanity issue. The analogy of the red pill, as Stevil mentioned, is so apt. At times I have felt like Alice tumbling down the hole (or Neo, come to that!) but it's a decision I wouldn't go back on for the world.

Tough that you had such a confusing education. Can you expand on why all the faith schools?

I have no idea. Like I said, my parents weren't devout - they believed in God, but I never saw them pray or attend church. I've no idea why they ensured I was 'washed in the blood of the Lamb' from such an early age - all I do know is that when they sent me to a Catholic school, away from all the friends I'd spent seven years growing up with who were all going to a CofE comprehensive, it was because my parents thought I would get a 'better education'. Well, I didn't. All it did for me was leave me even more confused and afraid for the next thirty years. My father died in 1989. My mum is still around but I'm estranged from her and have no desire to speak to her again, other than to ask her that same question - why send me to all those faith schools and youth groups when it's just so much utter bullshit?

But get this - even though I was a devout Christian, I've never believed in creationism. I've always believed that we've evolved as a life form and will continue to evolve as long as the earth still turns. People I know, who aren't necessarily Christians, still believe in the whole Adam and Eve good vs evil morailty fairytale. That, to me, is very frightening.

[Siz]

Re your signature Denty, is that to say that you are permitted to wear sanitary towels as headwear when sober? I'm signing up!

[xSilverPhinx]

I don't recognize the authority of whoever's trying to enforce that rule I will wear sanitary towels whenever I want, thank you very much.

About swearing - I usually have the same concerns, but with venting. Especially since it can get a bit annoying. And I vent a lot.

WARNING! Vent ahead:

Like when even after all you go through, you still have to deal with idiotic morons, whose existence hits you like that feeling when you're walking and...um...you realize that the squishy thing you've stepped on is the finished product of a local dog's intestinal movements. Something that sticks to the bottom of your shoe till you reach home where you can remove it. I've yet to confirm my suspicions though, and I don't have to put up with this.

[McQ]

Welcome and thanks for your introduction. I keyed in on one word that is so frequently used among those of us who once were believers but who threw off the beliefs. "Free". You felt free. Amen to that, brother! 

That's the feeling for sure.

My last church (the final straw church) tried to get me to teach Creationism to the high school Sunday School classes. That was the final straw for me. In trying so hard to learn about Creationism, biblical apologetics, etc., I saw just how deluded that stuff really was.

[Crow]

Bonjour Denty.

That was a great introduction, Welcome to the forum.

Re your signature Denty, is that to say that you are permitted to wear sanitary towels as headwear when sober? I'm signing up!

I always thought the word 'smeg' meant nob cheese, i.e. smegma. So a 'smeg head' was a cheesy corona. But i am guessing that the tattoo is a reference to red dwarf.

[Denty420]

Bonjour Denty.

That was a great introduction, Welcome to the forum.

I always thought the word 'smeg' meant nob cheese, i.e. smegma. So a 'smeg head' was a cheesy corona. But i am guessing that the tattoo is a reference to red dwarf.

Thanks, Crow It certainly is a Red Dwarf reference and yes, it's my own tattoo. And the rule about tampons isn't compulsory - Space Corp Directives are renowned for being anal

Welcome and thanks for your introduction. I keyed in on one word that is so frequently used among those of us who once were believers but who threw off the beliefs. "Free". You felt free. Amen to that, brother! 

That's exactly how it feels, matey! You sound like you were pretty actively involved with the church in order to be teaching Sunday School, McQ. Was your 'awakening' a sudden thing or did it, like mine, build up over a period?

[SatanicBurrito]

Thank you for sharing your story Denty.  The best part of being an atheist for a while is finding out there's lots of other people who don't have imaginary friends.  Glad to know you!