What did Jesus really look like.

[hismikeness]

Interesting article about what Jesus looked like, or should I say whom Jesus more resembled than the current image du jour; the long hair, robe, sandals, beard, guy. The one seen in many, many places. But what did he probably look like??..

In North America he is most often depicted as being taller than his disciples, lean, with long, flowing, light brown hair, fair skin and light-colored eyes. Familiar though this image may be, it is inherently flawed. A person with these features and physical bearing would have looked very different from everyone else in the region where Jesus lived and ministered. Surely the authors of the Bible would have mentioned so stark a contrast.

Article.

[Will]

I'm not sure I buy there was a historical Jesus figure, supernatural or not. The evidence of his existence doesn't appear until about 60 years after his supposed death and it's all by followers invested in the existence of Jesus. Jesus was probably a mythological figure.

But, if he was real, he'd probably look Palestinian.

[Tank]

Interesting little article, thanks for posting it. 

[fester30]

I think there was some figure, perhaps a rabbi, the storytellers based their story around.  I don't think it was anybody supernatural, walking on water and healing the blind and such.  The writers made a great effort to make the story of this man match what the prophesies were.  He was born in Bethlehem yet he was Jesus of Nazareth.  If they were completely making up the story, why say Jesus of Nazareth?  Why not Jesus of Bethlehem.  The authors had to make up a census that didn't happen according to historical records to put Joseph and Mary in Bethlehem for the birth of Jesus.  I think there was somebody called Jesus of Nazareth.  It's possible he wandered the wilderness as an adult with a group of followers, and the stories about him got bigger as they got passed from person to person after his death.  I imagine it went something like this...

His childhood and adolescence are completely fiction.  Nobody really paid attention to him until his ministry.  He was a loner, much like David Koresh.  He learned the Torah as a youngster, and disagreed with the way the religious establishment of Israel was going about things.  He formed his own group, spending most of their time away from major settlements such as Jerusalem.  If it happened today he would have had a compound like Koresh or Warren Jeffs. 

He preached, won followers, and of course these followers were very enthusiastic for his message.  He may have been deathly ill and came back from it.  He may have disappeared for a time and his followers feared he was dead, then came back.  Whatever happened, there was an event that the followers first said he died and came back to life.  As the story was passed from person to person, that story became an execution.  The authors of the gospels turned it into a sacrifice in the style of the annual lamb, just as they turned his birth into being in Bethlehem, to match the prophesies. 

In other words... 2000 years ago or so their version of David Koresh or Warren Jeffs started a cult in Israel, and once he was gone his followers made his story bigger and bigger, until the authors of the New Testament filled in the blanks to match the prophesies in the Old Testament.  I just compared Jesus to crazy child-molesting cult leaders.  That might make some people mad.  Don't feel like I'm only picking on you, Christians, because I think pretty much the same thing about Muhammad, except that his followers didn't make him a god after he died.

Then again, I just saw on the news that a couple got a receipt for a purchase at Walmart with Jesus' face on it, so I'm probably wrong and just going to hell.

[joeactor]

I'm not sure I buy there was a historical Jesus figure, supernatural or not. The evidence of his existence doesn't appear until about 60 years after his supposed death and it's all by followers invested in the existence of Jesus. Jesus was probably a mythological figure.

But, if he was real, he'd probably look Palestinian.

+1

[OldGit]

So often, antisemitic christian groups have been in denial about their boss being a jew.  In fact - if he did exist at all - the only thing we know about him with complete certainty is that he was jewish.

[Stevil]

If he existed then most likely a bit like Mary and a bit like Joseph, if they existed.

Did he really make it to 30 without getting married or having g'freinds?
What age was common for peeps to get married back then?
Without contraceptives it seem highly likey that if he wasn't gay and didn't look to horrible and if he had a decent personality that he would have had offspring. I was dumb founded when the Da Vinci Code came out and some peepps found it contraversial to think Jesus might have had kids, I would have thought that it would have been more contraversial if he hadn't had kids. Do they think his genetic makeup makes it impossible? Is there something geneticly off about him?

The Catholics believe in Eucharist miracles, of blood and tissue belonging to Christ, they have several of them throught the ages, but refuse to publically DNA test them. I am sure they have, privately, and didn't get the conclusions that they wanted.

[fester30]

If he existed then most likely a bit like Mary and a bit like Joseph, if they existed.

Did he really make it to 30 without getting married or having g'freinds?
What age was common for peeps to get married back then?
Without contraceptives it seem highly likey that if he wasn't gay and didn't look to horrible and if he had a decent personality that he would have had offspring. I was dumb founded when the Da Vinci Code came out and some peepps found it contraversial to think Jesus might have had kids, I would have thought that it would have been more contraversial if he hadn't had kids. Do they think his genetic makeup makes it impossible? Is there something geneticly off about him?

The Catholics believe in Eucharist miracles, of blood and tissue belonging to Christ, they have several of them throught the ages, but refuse to publically DNA test them. I am sure they have, privately, and didn't get the conclusions that they wanted.

It goes back to some Christian denominations looking at sex like a sinful, impure act, and most Christians at least being uncomfortable with it.  Their sinless, pure savior couldn't have engaged in such a dirty, impure thing as sex, right?  Of course he was above such basic, animal urges to soil his holy member with the juices of some young virgin, or worse, a woman many mistakenly think was referred to in the Bible as being a prostitute (Mary Magdalene).

[The Magic Pudding]

If he existed then most likely a bit like Mary and a bit like Joseph, if they existed.

Why would he look like Joseph, what's he got to do with it?

Obviously god the father has gold hair and brilliant blue eyes.
I doubt god's genes even deigned to mix Mary's, Jesus probably just used her womb as a place to grow.

[Stevil]

He didn't need a womb for Adam and Eve, so why bother with Mary, she seems surplus to requirements.
Unless of course, god was wondering what it would feel like to enter the world through a woman's vagina.

If it was me, I would have been pretty keen to give that part a miss. Vagina, seems like a good idea, but not my mother's vagina, I cringe to think about that one.

[The Magic Pudding]

If it was me, I would have been pretty keen to give that part a miss. Vagina, seems like a good idea, but not my mother's vagina, I cringe to think about that one.

I hope some one comes along and asks you some Freudian questions about this, it could be entertaining. 

[Tank]

If it was me, I would have been pretty keen to give that part a miss. Vagina, seems like a good idea, but not my mother's vagina, I cringe to think about that one.

I hope some one comes along and asks you some Freudian questions about this, it could be entertaining. 

Coming out of one's mothers vagina is perfectly right, considering the reverse is seriously perverse!

[Stevil]

If it was me, I would have been pretty keen to give that part a miss. Vagina, seems like a good idea, but not my mother's vagina, I cringe to think about that one.

I hope some one comes along and asks you some Freudian questions about this, it could be entertaining. 

Coming out of one's mothers vagina is perfectly right, considering the reverse is seriously perverse!

...but if god had the choice? I mean, what was the attraction with regards to making that choice?

[Tank]

If it was me, I would have been pretty keen to give that part a miss. Vagina, seems like a good idea, but not my mother's vagina, I cringe to think about that one.

I hope some one comes along and asks you some Freudian questions about this, it could be entertaining.  

Coming out of one's mothers vagina is perfectly right, considering the reverse is seriously perverse!

...but if god had the choice? I mean, what was the attraction with regards to making that choice?

Well it's all BS anyway, but if I had to make up a story to justify it I would say that god wanted credibility as a human, feel the full range of experiences (although I don't recall being born). By being 'born' one is presented in a less imposing manner than just appearing. As I say it's all just a story, so I'm not sure it matters.

[absurdsolidarity]

If he looked anything like the common depictions of him, he was pretty hot.

This is why I love the song "Rock Me Sexy Jesus" from the movie Hamlet 2.