College was so great... until I met my roomate!

[LSchune]

College was what I was looking forward to my entire senior year.  I was so excited to be doing all the shopping, the scheduling classes, etc. etc.  Unfortunately, my karma apparently was not good enough as I got stuck with a roomate who, and no joke, is from my personal HELL.

People, I think I am going to write a book, and I already have the title:  "The Atheist and the Holy Roller:  Compositions and Entries of the Freshman Year."  It shall be a best seller.

Background:  She seemed nice enough during the first hours of move-in day, and I learned a few things that had my stomach going a little loopy.  Her parents are missionaries, and for the past NINE years she's lived in Kazihkstan with them.  She's a big christian follower and had her religious paraphernelia all around the room by the time I got there.

It wasn't even 10 minutes after the parents left for good that she started drilling me about my religious beliefs and the kind of person I am.  She also decided that she wanted to set some ground rules right off the bat - 1.  She does not want me having my friends in OUR dorm room while she's in there; 2.  I am apparently not allowed to have guys in OUR dorm room while she's in there either.  She hasn't gotten past the whole "Boys have cooties, EEEEWIE!" stage of her life, since the she FREAKED the first time she saw a guy in our dorm room.  Yeah, it's an all girls dorm (NOT my first, second, or third choice, trust me ), but the only time guys aren't allowed in without an escort is between 2am-6am in the morning, and such.  Heck, even our RA, who is awesome, told us at the floor meeting that if we wanted to have guys spend the night, simply because it's late and they didn't want to walk back, just shut the door and no one will know.

Her ENTIRE problem is that she doesn't have a clue how to socialize with other people who don't believe the exact same things she does.  She's so unbelievably insulting that I can't have my friends around her, or they'll kill her.  The first time I introduced them, she was so rude that my friends asked me how I delt with it daily.  Whenever she sees something she doesn't like, she gets this really sick sweet voice and turns her nose up so high I can see her nostril hairs.  It's that polite insulting crap, too.  Where she goes "Blah blah yada yada, but of course, NO offense to your or anything."

She compares EVERYTHING in the U.S. (she's been back a total of 3 months) to life in Kazihkstan, and I don't get it.  If she complains so much and hates everything about our country, WHY did she come back here?  It's such crap to me, and she tries to start "provocative, deep conversations" all the time, which is basically us at ends.  We've gone over homosexuality, birth control, swearing, etc.  For the cursing issue, she asked me advice to what she should do when she hears people curse around her, because I guess it makes her feel so horrible and "it's just so bad and not christian, I don't know what I should do."  Exact quote, no lie.

Sorry honey, but this is a U.S. college campus with U.S. students.  We swear, deal with it.  There's nothing you can do.  That's the not the worst of it either.

Saturday night she basically called me a promiscuous whore who likes to fuck guys all the time.  It was really late, I was having really bad cramps, was drowsy because of the pain meds I took. and I guess I mentioned something about being on birth control in the past.  She asks, also an exact quote. "So, do you normally sleep around with guys that much?"  That got me up off the bed asking "Blank, what the FUCK kind of a question is that?"  She just randomly started talking about something else, so I didn't get an answer.  I had to educate her that birth control is used for things other than preventing pregnancy, which she proceeded to denounce in my face that that was a lie.  Whatever.  Oh, did I mention that I'm not allowed to curse around her or say "Oh my god"?  Sorry, but she is NOT my mother, and I'm not even going to try anymore.  Calling me a whore wiped out my efforts.

We're planning on watching Brokeback Mountain this weekend in my room, and I don't give a crap what she says.  I've already put up my pro-choice stickers and such, and if she even touches them, we're duking it out.  

Sorry if this sounds so much like an immature vent, but I find it so horribly ironic.  Why oh why did I get stuck with THE holy rollers of holy rollers?

[SteveS]

Good grief LSchune!  I'm sorry you got stuck with such a twit.  I didn't care for my first roommate either, although he was NOTHING like this.  More just antisocial, arrogant, and patronizing --- although without the intellect to back up his grandiose self image.

Can't you request a roommate change?  My roommate almost did because he didn't like me --- he went to bed at 9:00 PM sharp every night --- whereas I would stumble back drunk, with friends in tow, around 1:30 - 2:00 AM on weekends.  Apparently I drove him nuts, which I can partially understand, although his objection to my behavior was not religious.

Don't let this "whore" business get to you --- this is a person operating under a complete double standard that sex should be different if you are male or female --- I reject this concept out of hand.  I don't think its wise to be careless, but only because of the health and life complications that can result;  I'm not opposed to sex morally - that would make me a flaming hypocrite now, wouldn't it?  I've got two kids and neither one was immaculately conceived.  I regard the fact that my wife deigns to sleep with me as one of her better personality traits!  :wink:

[MommaSquid]

Ask the school for a new room assignment, pronto!

And while you're waiting, invest in a good pair of earplugs.  Just because your roomie is dictating rules, doesn't mean you have to listen.  

What a nightmare.

[LSchune]

Ugh, that's my dilema!

Everything else about my dorm I LOVE.  Even though it's all girls and was not my first choice, it's so cool.  I love the girls on the floor, I love the floor in general, and I especially love the RA Megan who is totally down to earth and approachable.

I even love the actual dorm room, except for the no air conditioning  :?

[SteveS]

I like the earplug idea --- if she seems to be speaking to you when the earplugs are in, just flip her the bird and smile!  And I totally agree about the rules comment MommaSquid made - you don't have any obligation whatsoever to do as she pleases.

If she asks again if you sleep around with a lot of guys, you could say "No, sometimes I sleep with girls.  Why, are you interested?"  That would freak her square little mind out.

Or, you could always have "free thought" meetings in your room - I mean, if she's going to get under your skin, you might as well get under hers.

My great good friend in college had a bible thumping roommate one year.  The guy would hold bible study meetings in the room.  Right before the planned meetings, my friend and I would make it a point to be present drinking something strong and smoking cigars!  We also put up a lot of irreligious posters on my friend's side of the room.  It was fun.

Only caution with this approach --- your are going to have to be prepared to live in a war zone until at least the semester break.  If you can embrace and enjoy the fireworks, go for it - drive her into requesting the roomie change so you'll get to stay!  It can be fun to be a total jerk.  If, however, this seems too stressful, then I'd say request a roomie change yourself.  Or maybe identify another thumper and introduce her to your roommate?  Negotiate a voluntary room swap?  The thumpers are most comfortable in herds  :wink:

[Squid]

I see no problem with pushing back what she pushes on you.  She must realize that the world is bigger than the capsule of Christianity her parents sealed her in.  Buy some books by Dawkins, Harris and so forth.  If you have guy friends over and you're not breaking any rules, what is she going to do? Complain?  Be unhappy and have her perfect Christ-world upset?  If she is that uptight, she won't make it long at a regular university - she needs to be at a Christian one.

It is all something she is going to have to deal with.  Unfortunately you'll be stuck in the room while she tries to cope.  But I don't think you should have to comprise unless she's willing to.  Don't pull down any Darwin fish, pro choice stickers or FSM posters or whatever unless she agrees to pull down her Jesus propaganda too.  Some people would call it militant atheism but I disagree, it's the social interaction version of Newton's Third Law - you're just providing an equal and opposite reaction.

[rlrose328]

Wow... you have my sympathy, my friend.  But she is not the only one to make rules.  Unfortunately, if you make rules like "no religious posters" or "no religious meetings," YOU'D get in trouble for discriminating based on her religious beliefs, yes?

Live your life... is there a way to symbolically split the room and still get to the door?  Then whatever happens on your side is none of her business.  Period.  It's your room too and you should be able to curse, watch whatever movies you want (LOVE the Brokeback Mountain idea... LOL!), have whatever visitors you want, etc.  If she starts in on you, just ignore her, turn up the volume, etc.  She has no right to use her puritanical beliefs to make your life in that dorm difficult.  Perhaps she'll get the message and look into a room change herself.

[LSchune]

Thank you, everyone, soooooo much.  It's nice to have so many people understand my frustration when dealing with her  

[Whitney]

Wow....I would have put in for transfer on day one if I had that roomate...the one I got freshman year wasn't nearly that bad yet I still changed rooms since we didn't quite click well enough to live together.

Anyway, if you have to stay stuck with her, don't let the bitch control you.  You have just as much right to make ground rules as she does.  Throw some religion back in her face when she is being rude...you know, do unto others; certainly she wouldn't want someone telling her to act in a way which is not fitting to her.  

I would also suggest speaking to your RA, maybe she will know of another religious girl on your floor who would be a better match for your roommate and the two of you could switch.

[LSchune]

Brokeback Mountain tonight at 9:30.

Tehe  

[Dai]

Also, get some really strongly Atheistic music (For metal, Tool [Eulogy], Lamb of God, etc.) and listen to it when you study, or whatever.

Little things to drive her nuts .

[wereMole]

I live in a house with several atheists, but here we keep the respect up for such matters. I can't imagine it being otherwise, I'd moved out immediately.

[Allhailtuna]

Eek... I've been with religious extremists before (I had gone to a Jesuit school for a short while in India. I got out asap. The country I'm in now is far more tolerant), but none that... Strange... I mean, seriously, while the school had separate classes for Christians, etc, most swore, etc, and though some were incredibly religion-obsessed, they generally learnt to hang out with people like them instead of trying to enforce their beliefs on us.
Good luck. Oh, and will she be watching Brokeback Mountain?
"OMGBUTTHECOWBOYSAREBOTHMEN!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS EEEEEEEEEEVILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :O"
Now, instead of metal, I'd suggest something more Satanic... Such as NOFX. You should be able to find a few awesome songs there. And when you run out of songs about religion and conservatives (With considerable swearing), there's always 'The Instant Crassic'... "I'm swimming in a sea of pee, I'm hiking up a big mountain of poo"... Actually wait a minute... How would getting her so pissed off help? Brokeback mountain should be enough, really. Just as long as neither of you start forcing your beliefs on each other, or annoying each other (Seriously, is she isolated? By your description is seems she probably is... No need to make life harder for people, however irrational they are)
But seriously, nice rant. You deserve an Oscar.
You should be safe until she brings Oliver Cromwell's ghost back from the dead.
(Cue you freaking out, and me saying 'Whoops' after realizing why you're freaking out. :O)

[Churchworker]

Probably was another false prophet lead by the devil.

[LSchune]

We had our first semi-confrontation today  :? and I want to share it really bad, because it's bugging me.

I have a dry erase board hanging on my dorm door, and I mostly use it to write quotes of the day.  Most are funny and slightly obnoxious, but it's my board and I'll write whatever the fuck I feel like.

Anyway, today I put an atheistic quote on it:  "A man without a god is like a fish without a bicycle."  Then I leave to go the lounge and do chem for an hour, and I come back and happen to see the quote.  It's been changed, by someone, to "... a fish without water."  :roll:

So I open my door and there's my holy roller roomate lying on her bed reading a book.  I ask, no pauses or delays, if she touched by erase board.  She gives me this really sickening, innocent smile and says "Only a little bit."

I told her that it's my board and she changed it to represent something I don't believe in.  I also mentioned that I don't care that she has her religious shit all over the room (did not say shit, but was dying do), and that I would appreciate it if she would extend the courtesy to my things.  Then I left to shower.

Buugah.  That's how I feel right now.