My little brother

[thedport]

So some background info. I recently started college, and decided it was most cost effective to move back in with my family. My brother is nine and looks up to me very much so I do my very best to set a good example for him. Tell him not to lie, respect mom and dad even when he thinks their rules are stupid, don't make fun of people, you know the basics. Well as my hello post stated both of my parents are very devout christians, where I am very not. Here in is where the problem begins, my parents go to church and he goes also, because well he's nine and mom and dad tell him he needs to go. So to say the least I don't like that my parents are making him go to church. But out of respect for my parents, and the simple fact that he is not my child I stay my oppinion. Recently I was watching an episode on nova about the start of the universe. My brother asked me what the big bang theory was, and I explained it to him. He had that serious look of thought, like he's constapated trying to process what I just told him. Then he looks at me and goes " So god didn't make the universe it exploded?" And all I could do was tell him " Thats what science says yes." he then asks " And what about us? I know about that evolution thing that we all started from a little bug or something, but mom says she didn't come from no monkey. Did god make us or did we come from monkies?" I explained the the theory of evolution to whom the best I could explain it to a nine year old. He said " Well that makes more sense then god made us from dirt." I don't want to overstep my bounds, but I wll not facilitate the retardation of his actuall education. All I can hope is that he, like me, will figure out the truth as he gets older. Any opinnions on this?

[Crow]

Your mum is right that we didn't come from a monkey as we know today, we came from a common ancestor of primates that is now extinct.

Just by discussing alternatives to what he may currently believe to be true will help open his mind not just to science but accepting of other cultures and ways of life. I would say its to be encouraged but also with an emphasis of making his own opinions and always be questioning.

[Tank]

You're in a difficult position. If you don't tell him what you think now how will he trust you in future? You can't lie to him. Maybe books might be a less emotive way of conveying your point of view. He can read them at his own leisure and you can build him a library over the years. What do you parents think of you and your brother discussing these subjects?

[Whitney]

To offer a completely unbiased view of the evolution subject you can explain that evolution or even the big bang being true doesn't mean a god couldn't exist (I grew up accepting both with the bible and never had a problem because we weren't fundamentalists) and that science takes no stance on the existence of god (explained in whatever words he is able to currently understand).  This is also least likely to get your parents upset with you.

[thedport]

You're in a difficult position. If you don't tell him what you think now how will he trust you in future? You can't lie to him. Maybe books might be a less emotive way of conveying your point of view. He can read them at his own leisure and you can build him a library over the years. What do you parents think of you and your brother discussing these subjects?

I don't know if they realize he is asking these questions. When he needs money, or wants permission to do something, he goes to mom and dad. If he as a question on school, or things of the intelectual sorts he always comes to me, because in his words " Mom and Dad must not remember what they learned in school cause they don't know how to help answer my questions." I do know that my father has his circle of comfort. He doesn't let my brother watch degrassi because they had episodes about homosexuality and he didn't want him exposed to that and asked that I when asked if I think the show is ok to tell my brother that it's not up to me, you have to listen to dad, which again out of respect I do. So I am sure he wouldn't be overly happy that I am planting seeds of doubt in my brothers mind.

[Tank]

You're in a difficult position. If you don't tell him what you think now how will he trust you in future? You can't lie to him. Maybe books might be a less emotive way of conveying your point of view. He can read them at his own leisure and you can build him a library over the years. What do you parents think of you and your brother discussing these subjects?

I don't know if they realize he is asking these questions. When he needs money, or wants permission to do something, he goes to mom and dad. If he as a question on school, or things of the intelectual sorts he always comes to me, because in his words " Mom and Dad must not remember what they learned in school cause they don't know how to help answer my questions." I do know that my father has his circle of comfort. He doesn't let my brother watch degrassi because they had episodes about homosexuality and he didn't want him exposed to that and asked that I when asked if I think the show is ok to tell my brother that it's not up to me, you have to listen to dad, which again out of respect I do. So I am sure he wouldn't be overly happy that I am planting seeds of doubt in my brothers mind.

You're going to have to discuss this with your parents. And I think that Whitney has the core of what you have to discuss with your parents correct as well. If you don't get this out in the open now it could well get out of hand later. Have you ever discussed issues of a serious nature with your parents before?

[thedport]

You're in a difficult position. If you don't tell him what you think now how will he trust you in future? You can't lie to him. Maybe books might be a less emotive way of conveying your point of view. He can read them at his own leisure and you can build him a library over the years. What do you parents think of you and your brother discussing these subjects?

I don't know if they realize he is asking these questions. When he needs money, or wants permission to do something, he goes to mom and dad. If he as a question on school, or things of the intelectual sorts he always comes to me, because in his words " Mom and Dad must not remember what they learned in school cause they don't know how to help answer my questions." I do know that my father has his circle of comfort. He doesn't let my brother watch degrassi because they had episodes about homosexuality and he didn't want him exposed to that and asked that I when asked if I think the show is ok to tell my brother that it's not up to me, you have to listen to dad, which again out of respect I do. So I am sure he wouldn't be overly happy that I am planting seeds of doubt in my brothers mind.

You're going to have to discuss this with your parents. And I think that Whitney has the core of what you have to discuss with your parents correct as well. If you don't get this out in the open now it could well get out of hand later. Have you ever discussed issues of a serious nature with your parents before?

Yes and it almsot always ends up, we just agree to disagree. Their veiws are very much bible driven, where I have a much more huminist aproach to it. When I bring up scientific studies to help support my veiws it's always met with well it says in the bible, blah, blah, blah. My family doesn't push their beleifs on me which is good, mainly because I have used logical arguements to often to back myself that I have been told that I am to closed midned and will never see things the way the rest of my family does, uncles, aunts, grandparents included. I have finally come out and told them that I am a huminist, and it didn't suprise them, just saddens them that I no longer have faith. Or my favorite, "this is just a phase and you'll grow past it once you see how the world really is"

I guesse, right now all I can do is default to listen to mom and dad, but first look for the answers yourself. That seems like the safest bet in staying nuetral.

[Cooper20]

So some background info. I recently started college, and decided it was most cost effective to move back in with my family. My brother is nine and looks up to me very much so I do my very best to set a good example for him. Tell him not to lie, respect mom and dad even when he thinks their rules are stupid, don't make fun of people, you know the basics. Well as my hello post stated both of my parents are very devout christians, where I am very not. Here in is where the problem begins, my parents go to church and he goes also, because well he's nine and mom and dad tell him he needs to go. So to say the least I don't like that my parents are making him go to church. But out of respect for my parents, and the simple fact that he is not my child I stay my oppinion. Recently I was watching an episode on nova about the start of the universe. My brother asked me what the big bang theory was, and I explained it to him. He had that serious look of thought, like he's constapated trying to process what I just told him. Then he looks at me and goes " So god didn't make the universe it exploded?" And all I could do was tell him " Thats what science says yes." he then asks " And what about us? I know about that evolution thing that we all started from a little bug or something, but mom says she didn't come from no monkey. Did god make us or did we come from monkies?" I explained the the theory of evolution to whom the best I could explain it to a nine year old. He said " Well that makes more sense then god made us from dirt." I don't want to overstep my bounds, but I wll not facilitate the retardation of his actuall education. All I can hope is that he, like me, will figure out the truth as he gets older. Any opinnions on this?

I have something similar witha 10 year old brother. A few months ago, when I was really figuring out by faith (or lack there of), I just kinda blurted out the theory of evolution, simply because I needed to talk about it, and he was the only one around.

I myself, am almost a little prooud of him, because I now see him being more skeptical (or as skeptical as 10 years olds get), and he's startig to see things other than the brainwashing he's currently enduring at Catholic school. So, I'd be happy to see him question these things.

Also, NOVA is kick ass.

[thedport]

So some background info. I recently started college, and decided it was most cost effective to move back in with my family. My brother is nine and looks up to me very much so I do my very best to set a good example for him. Tell him not to lie, respect mom and dad even when he thinks their rules are stupid, don't make fun of people, you know the basics. Well as my hello post stated both of my parents are very devout christians, where I am very not. Here in is where the problem begins, my parents go to church and he goes also, because well he's nine and mom and dad tell him he needs to go. So to say the least I don't like that my parents are making him go to church. But out of respect for my parents, and the simple fact that he is not my child I stay my oppinion. Recently I was watching an episode on nova about the start of the universe. My brother asked me what the big bang theory was, and I explained it to him. He had that serious look of thought, like he's constapated trying to process what I just told him. Then he looks at me and goes " So god didn't make the universe it exploded?" And all I could do was tell him " Thats what science says yes." he then asks " And what about us? I know about that evolution thing that we all started from a little bug or something, but mom says she didn't come from no monkey. Did god make us or did we come from monkies?" I explained the the theory of evolution to whom the best I could explain it to a nine year old. He said " Well that makes more sense then god made us from dirt." I don't want to overstep my bounds, but I wll not facilitate the retardation of his actuall education. All I can hope is that he, like me, will figure out the truth as he gets older. Any opinnions on this?

It's good to know, that this isn't a unusuall situation and that there are others that have the same things going on. And agreed, NOVA is sweet. I also enjoy Free Speech Tv if you are able get this channle I would highly suggest looking into it.
I have something similar witha 10 year old brother. A few months ago, when I was really figuring out by faith (or lack there of), I just kinda blurted out the theory of evolution, simply because I needed to talk about it, and he was the only one around.

I myself, am almost a little prooud of him, because I now see him being more skeptical (or as skeptical as 10 years olds get), and he's startig to see things other than the brainwashing he's currently enduring at Catholic school. So, I'd be happy to see him question these things.

Also, NOVA is kick ass.

[Tank]

@thedport

How old are you?

[Cecilie]

@thedport

How old are you?

According to his profile, 22.

[Tank]

@thedport

How old are you?

According to his profile, 22.

Doh! Thank you 

[thedport]

@thedport

How old are you?

Why, do I seem to be the intelectual equivalent to a 12 year old? Or was the question simply out of pure curiosity? LOL   

[Tank]

@thedport

How old are you?

Why, do I seem to be the intelectual equivalent to a 12 year old? Or was the question simply out of pure curiosity? LOL   

I was curious about the family dynamic with your Father. At 22 you are now officially adult, even by US standards, you have every right to express you opinion as an adult in this situation. Your Father needs to realise this, but possibly never will. Your brother could become a punch bag between you two and that would be bad for all concerned.

The way you have dealt with this so far, from the limited information that can be conveyed on a forum, appears sensitive, pragmatic and balanced. What worries me is if your Father thinks you are going behind his back there could be problems. This is why I think you need to discuss this with your Father in an open and adult fashion if at all possible.

This is a difficult situation and rather out of my experience as theism has never been a significant issue in my families dynamics.

[Illbethewriter]

I think the way you have acted thus far is perfectly acceptable. You haven't pushed it upon your younger brother - he asked - and you should not lie to him when he's asking questions about scientific theories, the same way you should not lie to a child when they ask about sex or how the hamster died. All you can do is continue providing it from an unbiased point of view - by not explicitly discrediting your parents view of things but by just providing factual answers to his questions. I know it is up to your parents how they decide to bring up your brother but at the end of the day they cannot control every source in his life to prevent him from unbelieving - something that will become harder as he gets older.

Obviously I am unaware of the relationship you have with your parents but with mine I know I would be too strong minded to allow them from preventing me answering the questions of my younger brother, but I am also safe in the security that my parents would never disown me for.. well anything.
I agree that you should speak to your parents, but if I were you it would be to tell them that you will not lie to him and only answer questions he asks to the best of your ability - rather than to 'discuss' what you should or shouldn't say to him when he asks such questions.