Non-religious pet peeves

[OldGit]

Icarus is talking about the good old days before the American colonies rebelled against their lawful king George III.  If you agree that the rebellion was illegal and wrong, then the USA are just a bunch of rebellious colonies. 

[xSilverPhinx]

 

Can't say that I agree with that view unfortunately, being former colonies ourselves until relatively recently.

[OldGit]

That's different.  We Brits thoroughly approve of your throwing off your shackles and giving one up the backside to Portugal.

[xSilverPhinx]

That's true enough. Very soon after we sent the Portuguese on their way the Brits were on on shores trying to sell us their stuff. Makes perfect sense.

[Dobermonster]

^ If it is any comfort, we have that here in the colonies too. I think that personal space is shrinking.

It's everywhere. When someone is uncomfortably close I 'obliviously' stretch my arms and lean back slightly. Tends to make them more aware of just how close they are.

[xSilverPhinx]

^ I turn around and give them the evil eye. It doesn't work all the time but it can be very effective.

[OldGit]

A bit of flatulence will often persuade 'em to stand back a bit, too. 

But why do they do it?  Watch any heavy road traffic and you'll see them doing the same.  I think they feel more secure in a crowd.

[Magdalena]

I hate waiting for hours in lines. People stand so close here it's annoying! Especially when everyone's anxious for the line to keep going, as if literally breathing down the neck of the person in front of you is going to achieve that...Talk about invasion of personal space! 

I knew someone who would turn around and look at the person breathing down their neck, then he would move  outside of the line and say to them, "Go in front of me if you think that'll get you to the front of the line faster." 
It's like those people who keep changing lanes while they're driving to get 'there' faster. I want to tell them, "Great! After all that lane changing, we ended up stopping at the same red light!" 

[xSilverPhinx]

A bit of flatulence will often persuade 'em to stand back a bit, too.  

But why do they do it?  Watch any heavy road traffic and you'll see them doing the same.  I think they feel more secure in a crowd.

Yes I suppose that could work really well too. One would need a near infinite supply though, for long lines. Hopefully such a tactic would remove some people in the front as well.

[xSilverPhinx]

I hate waiting for hours in lines. People stand so close here it's annoying! Especially when everyone's anxious for the line to keep going, as if literally breathing down the neck of the person in front of you is going to achieve that...Talk about invasion of personal space! 

I knew someone who would turn around and look at the person breathing down their neck, then he would move  outside of the line and say to them, "Go in front of me if you think that'll get you to the front of the line faster." 
It's like those people who keep changing lanes while they're driving to get 'there' faster. I want to tell them, "Great! After all that lane changing, we ended up stopping at the same red light!" 

I know right? It's funny. Some people just seem to like to burn their tires and use up more gasoline, totally rational. 

[Tank]

A bit of flatulence will often persuade 'em to stand back a bit, too.  

But why do they do it?  Watch any heavy road traffic and you'll see them doing the same.  I think they feel more secure in a crowd.

Yes I suppose that could work really well too. One would need a near infinite supply though, for long lines. Hopefully such a tactic would remove some people in the front as well.

One of the unexpected effects of type 2 diabetes is that some people lose their sense of smell. Another issue is the eye watering flatulence that Metformin (a diabetes medication) causes. Thing is now I can't even smell my own farts.  I can see the reactions to them though 

[xSilverPhinx]

LOL. 

There have been a few situations when I would've given anything not to smell farts...My dog's are so smelly that even she reacts to them. 

[Icarus]

There's an app for that xSP. For humans it is one of the several products such as Beano. For dogs there is a similar thing that you put in their food. Check with the vet.

For people who stand too close in lines.........I once tried this ploy. A woman was almost touching in back of me. After a short time, I turned and said; "I think that you are attracted to me and I am flattered". "I am also attracted to you, may I give you a kiss?"... at which time I extend my arms as if to embrace. She backed off a long way and then we both had a good laugh about the whole deal. That worked out well because she was young attractive and had  impressive boobs, while I was old, decrepit, and incapable of serious lechery. I am glad that she did not take it seriously or I might have landed in jail.

I am not given to road rage but I am overly profane when some dipshit driver tail gates me in an effort to force me to go dangerously faster. The trick here is to punch the panic button on the car such that all the lights on the car begin to blink. That usually gets their attention but only for offending drivers who have their head out of their ass. This works particularly well if you have planned ahead, even for drivers who do have their heads up their ass.. Having planned ahead, You have previously entered the toy store and bought a toy pistol that resembles the 44 magnum that was famously used by Dirty Harry in his movies. Hold the pistol up in your right hand so that it is in plain view from your rear window. Note: Brits who drive on the wrong side of the road will need to display the gun with their left hand. Note 2: If you have a real 44 magnum to display it is equally affective and even more assuring.

[jumbojak]

^ Note 3: Brits who have a .44 magnum should get rid of it, otherwise they could go to jail for a looooong time!

[Recusant]

A bit of flatulence will often persuade 'em to stand back a bit, too.  

But why do they do it?  Watch any heavy road traffic and you'll see them doing the same.  I think they feel more secure in a crowd.

While travelling in France, I noticed a peculiar phenomenon. We usually used the smaller byways because they tend to be much more interesting, and also because the main motorways are almost all toll roads. Often they would be nearly deserted, but when we did see other cars, it was common that it would be two cars travelling a little over the speed limit, the rear car only a few feet behind the leading car. I mean dangerously close. It seems to be some sort of bizarre custom there. It got to be a running joke along the lines that the French are an extremely gregarious people, and needed to be close to another car in order to feel secure. When we saw one car travelling alone, we would exclaim in pity that he must be feeling very lonely.

Whenever somebody tried it with me, I would find the next safe spot to pull over. We weren't in a hurry, and I loathe having somebody riding my tail like that. I suppose it truly may be a manifestation of the French psyche: A certain aggressiveness coupled with a stubborn competitive streak. Car #2: "I'm going to force this baudet to allow me to pass!" Car #1: "To hell with this cr?tin! I will not allow him to get in front of me!"