The Heaven Question

[Shalo'zier]

What would heaven be like?

Eternal bliss and so and and such, no?

What happens if one person's ideal heaven, includes silk window blinds, brown clothes, and Queen albums, while another person prefers opaque sun blicking blinds, black clothes, and Black Sabbath?

Is heaven the same place for all people?

What if one person's heaven is another's hell?

What ABOUT hell though?

What if one person's idea of eternal hell is High School for the rest of time?

What if it's being surrounded by family that they hate?

How does heaven and hell accomodate itself to the tastes and ideals of everyone on earth?

Surely, there are those that ENJOY sodomy, and a lake of fire could give a nice tan.

Did "God" really think this out when s/he/it/them made Heaven?

[tacoma_kyle]

That has a interesting pointn about 'hell'. Worst experiences are often emotional ones and not necessarily violnce and what not.

[skeptigirl]

I loved this South Park episode. Everyone ends up in Hell because with all the different beliefs claiming this is the only way to heaven, if you take their teachings literally, only one could be right.

Man 4:     Hey, wait a minute, I shouldn't be here. I wa a totally strict and devout Protestant! I thought we went to heaven!
Hell Director:    Yes, well I'm afraid you were wrong.
Soldier:    I was a practicing Jehovah's Witness. Uh, you picked the wrong religion as well.
Man 5:    Well, who was right? Who gets into heaven?
Hell Director:    I'm afraid it was the Mormons. Yes, the Mormons were the correct answer.
Crowd:    [disappointed] Awww.

Of course then they show the scenes from heaven with everyone dressed in the same suits and ties, (can't remember what the women wear).

Mormon 2:     Would you like to stay for some cookies and punch?
Mormon 1:    Yes, would you?
Satan:    Uh, no, I need to be getting back.
Mormon 2:    Oh, alright then, but you're gonna miss our big play.
Mormon 4:    Yes. We're going to do a play about how alcohol can ruin family life.
Satan:    Wow. That sounds great, but uh, I really- gotta go. [disappears in a burst of flames]
Mormon 1:    Wehull, he seemed like a nice fellow.
Mormon 4:    Yes. [a few seconds of silence follow]
Mormon 2:    Let's go make things out of egg cartons.
Mormons:    [ad lib] Oooo, yeah. I'll do that.

Certainly isn't my idea of 'heaven'.

[McQ]

I loved this South Park episode. Everyone ends up in Hell because with all the different beliefs claiming this is the only way to heaven, if you take their teachings literally, only one could be right.

Man 4:     Hey, wait a minute, I shouldn't be here. I wa a totally strict and devout Protestant! I thought we went to heaven!
Hell Director:    Yes, well I'm afraid you were wrong.
Soldier:    I was a practicing Jehovah's Witness. Uh, you picked the wrong religion as well.
Man 5:    Well, who was right? Who gets into heaven?
Hell Director:    I'm afraid it was the Mormons. Yes, the Mormons were the correct answer.
Crowd:    [disappointed] Awww.

Of course then they show the scenes from heaven with everyone dressed in the same suits and ties, (can't remember what the women wear).

Mormon 2:     Would you like to stay for some cookies and punch?
Mormon 1:    Yes, would you?
Satan:    Uh, no, I need to be getting back.
Mormon 2:    Oh, alright then, but you're gonna miss our big play.
Mormon 4:    Yes. We're going to do a play about how alcohol can ruin family life.
Satan:    Wow. That sounds great, but uh, I really- gotta go. [disappears in a burst of flames]
Mormon 1:    Wehull, he seemed like a nice fellow.
Mormon 4:    Yes. [a few seconds of silence follow]
Mormon 2:    Let's go make things out of egg cartons.
Mormons:    [ad lib] Oooo, yeah. I'll do that.

Certainly isn't my idea of 'heaven'.

Yet one more reason to listen to skeptigirl. South Park. Need I say more?  

Everything I needed to know about Mormons, Scientology, and life, I learned from SP.

[Shalo'zier]

Gotta love SP.

But yeah.

Heaven and Hell, like beaty, is in the eyes of the beholder, or sufferer. I guess.....

Personally, if Hell were filled with people like Kurt Cobain or Jimi, I'd rather suffer for eternity, and spend the rest of my time in the universes most awesome jam session.

I'd turn Hell into Heaven.

[SteveS]

Everything I needed to know about Mormons, Scientology, and life, I learned from SP.

Hehe, I liked the one episode that kept flashing "Scientologists actually believe this" on the bottom of the screen.  I think it was the one where Tom Cruise wouldn't come out of the closet (haha).

[donkeyhoty]

South Park is always great.  One religious episode they rarely replay is when the statue of the virgin mary was bleeding... out of her vagina.  Man, that was hilarious.  

The Ladder to Heaven episode is pretty good too, with Saddam building a weapons factory in heaven with the Mormons.  And, of course, G-Dub wants to bomb the factory and heaven.

[arin]

Well, I could answer this question with logic, but I think that's what everyone else already said.  Now, assuming that "heaven" and "hell" is a christian thing, it would make sense that the Bible would explain it.  Therefore, if you are looking for a "book" answer, then there isn't a specificly clear answer.  It is taught that, if christian, your soul would go to heaven, and you would no longer yearn for "worldly" luxuries.  For instance, maybe on earth, you always want the model body, the best car, ect.; in heaven, everyone would have the body that they always wanted, and you would no longer want or have the need for a cool car.

[a_jaynepayne]

Well, I could answer this question with logic, but I think that's what everyone else already said.  Now, assuming that "heaven" and "hell" is a christian thing, it would make sense that the Bible would explain it.  Therefore, if you are looking for a "book" answer, then there isn't a specificly clear answer.  It is taught that, if christian, your soul would go to heaven, and you would no longer yearn for "worldly" luxuries.  For instance, maybe on earth, you always want the model body, the best car, ect.; in heaven, everyone would have the body that they always wanted, and you would no longer want or have the need for a cool car.

Exactly...just one more f-n that makes no sense, just believe and it will be so.  So sayeth the Lord.  Just think about it for more than twenty seconds!!  Simple answers to difficult questions is one thing of many that crossed me over.

[rlrose328]

This one is easy for me... there is no heaven and there is no hell.  That is my firm belief.  

[tigerlily46514]

Yeah, Rose, i'm with you.
No afterlife whatsoever.  no heaven.  no hell.  this is it, kids, let's have some FUN!!!!!!

Can't separate the body and mind.  one's gone = the other is gone, too.  I tried this weekend to separate the body and mind, came reeeeealllll close, but nope, couldn't do it....ha ha!!!

Sorry can't credit the author of this poem, and it might be off a word or two, but it is close...but i love it.

"Dance as if no one were watching
Sing as if no one can hear you
Love as if you've never been hurt.....

LIve as iF heaven if here on earth."
hey, it was for me this weekend.....  Had 8 pontoons all tied up together on the lake, about a bazillion of us all singing and dancing together and laughing til it hurts.....

Friends, music, sunshine,  singing and dancing, water, good rum, ......then moonlight on the water......yeah, it coulda been heaven to me.

[rlrose328]

Sounds like you had a blast, Jean!  what fun!

[Will]

Hell is eternity with fundies. I'd hypothetically take hellfire over that. Hell features science classrooms with bibles for textbooks and pictures of white jesus on the walls of city hall. Hell is the ten commandments being used as the basis for federal law. Hell is brainwashing my children.

Heaven? Heaven for me is simply working hard and being successful because of it. Heaven is being able to help people altruistically. Heaven is having a garage that's never dirty and where none of my tools ever go missing. Heaven is being able to have time before work to cook a delicious lunch instead of staring at the McDonalds across the street at 1:30, thinking about how much I'd have to run to work off a hamburger. Heaven is having a discussion between two individuals in which, after reasonable and dispassionate points and evidence are presented, the reasonable conclusions are shared at the end by both parties. Heaven is also Krispy Kream with 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, and 0 grams of sugar.

[donkeyhoty]

Hell is brainwashing my children.

I'd call it indoctrination, but that's neither here nor there(if I had kids).  Otherwise I concur wholeheartedly on that first paragraph.  

Krispy Kream with 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, and 0 grams of sugar.

Where's the fun in that?