Happy? Check! Atheist? Check!

[Whitney]

Whitney, tell me the place and time and I'll try to make arrangements  

Yay...there are quite a few DFW people on this forum (considering that it has international members) yet I only know 2 of them right now and that is because I knew them before they joined HAF.  I'm an in person type of person so I feel that I should at some point meet anyone who lives near me if I talk to them online frequently.

Here's the next one I'm going to (Friday evening): http://www.meetup.com/FoFDallas/calendar/12390249/

[elliebean]

Great, I'll check with my honey when she gets home from work, but it might be a little difficult for me to make it and still keep my prior commitment to the Denton meetup the following afternoon. I only get about a 6 hour window, once in about every 5 days to be out in public, due to.... personal reasons. That is, in cases where I care at all about making a decent first impression as myself and not as, well, a guy.

Sorry if that's TMI but, as you might have guessed, I'm not one to hold back much.

[kelltrill]

I like moose (mooses/moosii/meese). I've never seen one, but I heard they cause a lot of car accidents

Welcome

[elliebean]

When I was 4 I lived in Alaska for a short time. A moose wandered into our backyard and started eating leaves off of a small tree. Somewhere my mom has a photo she shot of it from the kitchen window.

You can't quite see Russia in the background; maybe Sarah Palin's head got in the way, .

[Ellainix]

How does transgender work?

[elliebean]

I'm extremely poor, so in my case it usually doesn't work, or at least not well, but anyway....


From American Psychological Association:

What does transgender mean?

Transgender is an umbrella term used to describe people whose gender identity (sense of themselves as male or female) or gender expression differs from that usually associated with their birth sex. Many transgender people live part-time or full-time as members of the other gender. Broadly speaking, anyone whose identity, appearance, or behavior falls outside of conventional gender norms can be described as transgender. However, not everyone whose appearance or behavior is gender-atypical will identify as a transgender person.

http://www.apa.org/topics/sexuality/transgender.aspx

[kelltrill]

So transgender is specifically about gender and not about sexual reassignment surgery? (considering that gender is about sociological definitions of "masculine" and "feminine" and sex is biological/physical). Would going through with the surgery make you transexual instead of transgender, or both?

Just filling in gaps of my knowledge. I don't know too much about this, I admit

[elliebean]

It's good to ask these questions; I do what I can to educate the public on these issues, as it can only help to ultimately make life better for transgender people.

Disclaimer: I've composed this reply completely from my own memory (very unreliable) from my research and experiences and I just woke up after a long night, so if anyone notices anything incorrect or missing from my comment below, please post the correct information. I would have found links to this information and posted that, but I'm just feeling really lazy right now.  

There are different definitions of the terms 'transgender' and transsexual' and their meanings have evolved over time. The way I understand it is that 'transgender' encompasses those who are ambiguously or differently gendered or present themselves differently from their birth sex. 'Transsexual', to my understanding, is a subcategory of transgender. A transsexual person is one who feels the sex they were assigned at birth is incorrect, or feels 'trapped in the body' of the opposite sex, and seeks to correct it by living as their desired gender. Some of the ways to acheive this include hormone therapy (HT, or HRT - hormone replacement surgery as it's sometimes called) and a variety of surgeries, such as SRS (sex reassignment surgery, or GRS - gender reassignment surgery - seems to be the more accepted term lately), facial feminisation surgery (FFS), hair removal, hair replacement (to reverse male pattern balding), and breast augmentation.

Depending on the person, their needs and their situation, a transsexual may have had one, some, all, or none of these procedures done. It is strongly recommended for anyone who feels they may be transsexual to seek professional counseling from a gender therapist, especially if they want to start HT or GRS. Typically, anyone seeking GRS will be required to live full-time as their desired gender for at least a year, while on HT.

Obviously, the life of a transsexual can get very expensive and very difficult, which is why after so many long years, I'm still stuck at the starting line, having done nothing permanent or outwardly substantial towards my transistion. I hope to go the full route someday, but each phase of my journey must come in its own time. You might say I've done everything I possibly can do without spending lots of money. The first step, of course is recognition of this condition in oneself. I've taken other steps, like coming out to my friends and some of my family (I live far away from them, so telling the rest of them not a pressing issue at this time); I dress as a woman as often as I can, given the rapidity of my facial and body hair growth; I've bought wigs, I've started practicing to feminize my voice; and I've started using my chosen name whenever possible, including everywhere online except Facebook, which requires verification.

The next step for me is to find a gender therapist in my area, but depending on their rates, I might also start permanent hair removal (electrolysis). Then the next step will be to try to legally change my name. Unfortunately, everything else is too far out of reach mor me, financially, at this time. Some of that will change after I get married to my partner and she adds me to her medical insurance.

[Whitney]

including everywhere online except Facebook, which requires verification.

You can change it on fb if you want.  My dog has a facebook page and one of my friends has a closeted atheist profile on fb which in no way resembles his legal name.  I think when I got married I might have had to get "approval" from fb to change my name.  But they didn't require any real verification; so you could just tell them you had your name legally changed.

[elliebean]

Good to know, thanks  

[Ellainix]

I knew what transgender is, I was wondering more about how it impacts your life.

[elliebean]

Sorry I misunderstood your question, Ellainix.

So far the impact of my gender i dentity on my life has been minimal; partly because I lack the means to have taken much action in that regard, partly because I currently live in a town that is a little more accepting and tolerant of differences than the surrounding region, and also because I live far away from relatives who would most likely see this as putting my soul in danger of eternal damnation. As I get further along, things will most certainly become much harder for me.

My fiancee is not only accepting, but happy about my decision to ultimately transition to become a woman. She has recently admitted to herself and to me that she is gay, so we're both thrilled that our relationship has the possibility to continue after my transformation (though she claimed she was bisexual before, so really that possibility has always existed. On the other hand, my ex-wife was bisexual and still never fully embraced my decision and sometimes would strongly discourage me, but she was a self-centered little....

I feel like my reply is getting long-winded and I'm starting to reveal a lot of unnecessary personal info here, so I hope I've at least given an answer that somewhat satisfies your question. If not, feel free to ask more specific questions and I'll do my best to answer them as concisely as I am able.  

[Ellainix]

That's really cool. My ex-boyfriend told me that being a woman is so much more appealing than being a man. He was immensely jealous that girls were uplifted for wearing beautiful colors and dresses, yet the selection available for men was dismal and depressing. At many times, he would go on endlessly about how some girl-only things were way cooler or more aesthetically pleasing than what he was allowed to have. I agreed, but being a woman myself makes me biased . He is currently an Atheist stuck in the deep South with no viable escape path from the chains of man-law or Christianity. He, too, suffers from depression and thoughts of suicide. We've had many talks about pleasing his inner female, but the most he would do is wear my clothes and make up. He choose to not take your path. I know he would be happier if he did what you do.

I don't understand what it feels like to be trapped in the body of a different gender, but I think I know what it is like to be by your side.

[elliebean]

I think I know what it is like to be by your side.

Part of me says thank you; the other says, "oh you poor dear." I wouldn't wish myself on anyone. Except my partner of course, but that's because she's a big meanie and deserves me  

[Grassharpper]

So you're the one all those Christians keep complaining about. They're all up in arms over you. I love it.----- I, myself, am a lesbian-------a lesbian trapped in a man's body, but a lesbian nonetheless. We are what we are-- and then some. Enjoy yourself!