New atheist - my story

[User192021]

Hello everyone.  My name is Matt and I am 22 years old and have very recently (within the past couple of weeks) made the final step out of a world of superstition and fear and into the real world of reason and....well....fear.  

I was raised in a Catholic home in Buffalo, NY - baptized, confirmed, church every Sunday, the whole nine yards.  After listening to Richard Dawkins speak on Youtube, reading the atheist manifesto by Sam Harris along with several other pieces of literature, and an enormous amount of contemplation, I came to the realization that I had literally created God in my mind and was perpetuating the fantasy through prayer and ritual.

Tonight I told my parents that I am an atheist and my dad looked like he was going to pass out.  "Astonished" does not do justice to describe their reaction.  My mom was a little more understanding, although I fear I may have permanently damaged my relationship with my parents.  I honestly wish I had never even contemplated my faith and could simply go on about my life as I had.  When I got home I had what I guess one could call a panic attack and I ended up puking.  I began to wonder "what if I'm wrong?" etc...  I suppose I'm still going through the de-conditioning process.  Anway, I thought it would be a good idea to meet some of my new peers, so here I am.

[MommaSquid]

Welcome to the forum and congratulations on your recent discovery.  I, too, was raised Catholic and can relate to a lot of what you are going through.  It would be easier to go along with the crowd some days, wouldn't it?  But once the blinders are off, they can't go back on (IMAO).

Give your parents time to digest what you said...they are more resilient than you know.

Again, welcome!

[ImpaledSkier]

Word man...though my parents know my opinion of organized church, I'm not sure if they know I'm an atheist. That's going to be one interesting day when it comes.

Welcome

[User192021]

Thanks guys.  I'm getting more comfortable with the idea everyday and in many ways, I feel atheism has enriched my life.  For example, since I believe this is the only life I will get, I am even more motivated than ever to make the most of it and enjoy the time I have with the ones I love.

I'm sure this is stuff you've all already been through, but it's new to me, and quite fascinating/scary.  I guess a person can become very comfortable with his reality and when it gets completely shaken up and turned upside down, it takes some adjusting.

[McQ]

Welcome to the forum. It's hard living in a world where almost all of the population believe in god, gods, higher beings, etc. Take it easy, and don't feel like you have to overly defend your position or over argue t with people. That's a tough thing to do, and you may set yourself up for a lifetime of fighting if you go there.

I hope your family and friends just accept you as you are, and don't try to reconvert you. I also grew up Roman Catholic and still am surrounded by them in my family. My wife is even a eucharistic minister in the church. Believe me, I know what it's like to get "that look" when you tell someone in your family about this! LOL!

Hope to see you around a lot more.

[Big Mac]

I grew up Pentecostal and was briefly Catholic. It's hard sometimes because I still have that fear of demons grabbing me in the dark from my fundie upbringing. I slowly am peeling away the fear I had beaten into my head as a small boy. I personally view all religions as the downfall of civilized thinkers. While I am not anti-religious, I would be happy if they went the way of the Dodo.

Congrats my friend, you've taken your first step into a larger world. I still get hassled by my family from time to time regarding my lack of faith, mostly from extended as most of my immediate family is not really christian.

[MrE2Me]

Welcome to the forums!  I'm pretty new here, myself.  While I can't relate to the intensity of your religious upbringing, I can certainly relate to the backlash and doubts that were consequences of your admitting your non-belief to yourself and others.

Once you get past the initial withdrawal symptoms, I think you'll realize you made the right choice, even if it cost you some closeness with your family.  (As with all things, give it time...)  Also bear in mind that you're not as alone in your beliefs (or lack thereof) as you might think.  Glad you decided to join us!  

[Whitney]

Welcome to the forum.

To get over the "what if I'm wrong" thing...think of it this way.  If there happens to be a loving god and therefore atheists are wrong then you likely wouldn't have anything to worry about since a loving being wouldn't send anyone to a terrible place for something as petty as lack of faith, at worst you would just cease to exist.  If there is a god and it isn't loving then we are all screwed anyway.