Your favorite *cough!* scripture.

[Kit_Kaboodle]

I thought it would be fun to invite atheists and theists of this form to post their absolute favorite passages of whatever holy book they want. Passages from the Bible, Koran, Book of Mormon, $cientology, etc.

My favorite, which I also think is one of the most absurd, is from the first Gospel of Matthew. This particular passage comes after the other good advice to lop off body parts such as one's eye and hand, Matthew 5:29-30.

Matthew 19:12  For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

Matthew 19:12 J.C.Speaking

Revelation seems to back up this "cut your balls off for Jesus" sentiment, or at least not ever having sex.

Revelation 14:4  These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins. These are they which follow the Lamb whithersoever he goeth. These were redeemed from among men, being the first fruits unto God and to the Lamb.

Curiously, and I invite Biblical scholars to explain this, Deuteronomy 23:1 seems to contradict self-mutilation as a fast track to heaven. In my opinion, Deuteronomy, is the absolute cruelest and ugliest part of the Bible, but let's read what it says!

Deuteronomy 23:1  He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

Origen, an early Christian leader (A.D. 185-254) cut his own balls off to achieve heaven. There was also a group of characters known as Valesians, who castrated each other with a hot iron. They called this procedure, appropriately enough, 'baptism by fire.' Woe to any traveller who stayed with them, for they were known to castrate anyone who stayed with them.

Sources: The X-Rated Bible: An Irreverent Survey of Sex in the Scriptures. Ben Edward Akerly.
 The Skeptics Annotated Bible.http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com

[Kodanshi]

Revelations 6:14 â€" “And the heaven departed as a scroll when it is rolled together.”

I just think that is fantastic imagery, along with its obvious source, Isaiah 34:4 â€" “And all the host of heaven will wear away, And the sky will be rolled up like a scroll.”

Magnificent!

[jcm]

Numbers 31...my fav!

1The LORD said to Moses, 2 "Take vengeance on the Midianites for the Israelites. After that, you will be gathered to your people."

7 They fought against Midian, as the LORD commanded Moses, and killed every man. 8 Among their victims were Evi, Rekem, Zur, Hur and Rebaâ€"the five kings of Midian. They also killed Balaam son of Beor with the sword. 9 The Israelites captured the Midianite women and children and took all the Midianite herds, flocks and goods as plunder. 10 They burned all the towns where the Midianites had settled, as well as all their camps. 11 They took all the plunder and spoils, including the people and animals, 12 and brought the captives, spoils and plunder to Moses and Eleazar the priest and the Israelite assembly at their camp on the plains of Moab, by the Jordan across from Jericho.

15 "Have you allowed all the women to live?" he asked them. 16 "They were the ones who followed Balaam's advice and were the means of turning the Israelites away from the LORD in what happened at Peor, so that a plague struck the LORD's people. 17 Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, 18 but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.

[Kit_Kaboodle]

I don't remember Chuck Heston doing that particular scene in the movie, The Ten Commandments.

[ACSlater]

Revelations 6:14 â€" “And the heaven departed as a scroll when it is rolled together.”

I just think that is fantastic imagery, along with its obvious source, Isaiah 34:4 â€" “And all the host of heaven will wear away, And the sky will be rolled up like a scroll.”

Magnificent!

I must agree that it IS quite poetic.

[dr.zalost]

Sorry for the double post. Now where is that delete button?

[dr.zalost]

Matthew 27:52-53

And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose, and came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many.

'Cause this is thriller! Thrillerrrr night! da dada daaaa


 

[PipeBox]

Hah, I'm sure it should be something funny, contradictory, or ironic, but it was always Rev 1:8

I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty.

It's just an epic statement, at least when it's KJ or NKJ.  Switching out the pronouns and capitalizing "who," or for that matter, anything God ever describes himself as gets very, very tiresome to read.  Like this:

I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, says the Lord God, He Who is and Who was and Who is to come, the Almighty (the Ruler of all).

I think anyone who has a favorite Bible verse should swap it out and see how different translations wreck it.  

[Enoch Root]

I guess I'll have a different viewpoint than most other atheists here.  I still consider parts of the bible to be very moving and profound literature, even if I don't believe in the god it speaks of.  I don't believe in Apollo or Hera but the I can still recognize the significance of the Illiad, can't I?

The book of Job in particular has always been pretty significant to me (and for the record, even as a Christian I considered it to be a parable, not an account of an historical person).  Atheists have long asked the classic question "if God is all-loving and all-powerful why do bad things happen?", and Christians have usually answered with the typically shitty and cliched "Because it's in God's plan" or "He's teaching you something" responses.  In the bible's defense it actually deals with the question a lot more seriously than most Christians, with huge portions devoted to it, like Job, Habakkuk, many of the Psalms.  

A lot of the book of Job involves him shaking his fist at heaven and wishing that he had some means to petition God or mediate with God to figure out why this stuff was happening to him.  It's something people have been asking for thousands of years, and I can sympathize with it.  In fact I think that mindset is a very short step away from concluding "You know, maybe nobody's listening after all..."

Plus the struggle of how to face suffering doesn't end when a person becomes an atheist.  The suffering still exists.  Billions of people throughout history have found comfort believing that even if the suffering exists right now, there's a higher purpose and a God who will eventually right this life's wrongs.  As atheists we believe life is what we make it and the responsibility is on ourselves, but that's not a lot of comfort to the guy dying of pancreatic cancer.

It's worth pointing out that the single, central tenant of Christianity is that God did not remain distant from suffering, but chose to experience it himself.  We can (and do) compose a whole list of reasons why that's illogical, but we can at least recognize the comfort that idea gives to many people.

[bowmore]

It would have to be John 20:24-25

24Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. 25So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord!"
      But he said to them, "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it."

[Ihateyoumike]

The book of Job in particular has always been pretty significant to me...

I prefer the book of G.O.B.


"But still... where did the lighter fluid come from?" -G.O.B.



Sorry... couldn't resist...  

[pastafarian]

Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it.

This winner comes from the depths of Malachi 2:3

[Tom62]

I really love Genesis 6:4

There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.

[curiosityandthecat]

We like to find Bible verses that are wacky, terrible, contradictory or just downright strange. I thought this thread might be a nice place to list some of our favorite ones.

Christians or other theistic-minded folk, please feel free to explain the verses!  :pop:

(Edited to have Whitney merge this with the thread above since I totally steamrolled and posted the same topic.   )

[Enoch Root]

They don't need to explain those verses, but rather, explain why nobody else mentioned these events.

Mark, Luke, John, Paul, Peter, or any other new testament writers didn't think it was necessary to mention the big zombie problem in Jerusalem right after the crucifixion.  Personally I'd think it'd at least be worth a footnote.*

* Note: By the way I sat beside a zombie on the bus this morning.