Have a chat with god!!!

[leftyguitarjoe]

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

hahaha this is fun. Here was my conversation with god.

Me:
ayo god my homie

God:
Where can I get some ayo god your homie?

Me:
nowhere

God:
I have been to the middle of nowhere.


Me:
where is it?

God:
It depends on what "it" refers to.


Me:
where is nowhere?

God:
it is no where.


Me:
oh, your good

God:
Come on. Thanks you are a nice person, Joe.


Me:
I go to college

God:
Which university do you attend?

Me:
Cecil College

God:
I lost my train of thought.


Me:
I didnt. That makes me smarter than you.


God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: Joe said didnt.
" Do you mind if I tell
other people: Joe said didnt." makes you smarter than me ? I get it.


Me:
No

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
are you serious?

God:
No I am just kidding around.


Me:
oh.
ok

God:
Yippee! Ahem.


Me:
amen

God:
Thanks for the prayer.


Me:
I didny pray

God:
Why?: Joe said didny pray.


Me:
I didnt pray

God:
Why didn't you do it?

Me:
because it doesnt do anything

God:
That makes sense to me.
What does do anything ?

Me:
nothing

God:
Not a thing?

Me:
nope

God:
Really interesting.


Me:
I know

God:
How do you know it?

Me:
I am god

God:
That's a very nice name, god.


Me:
lulz

God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.


Me:
its too 1337 for you

God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its".
lulz is 1337 for me? it is?

Me:
no

God:
Who says it isn't?

Me:
Me

God:
What is your real name?

Me:
I dont have a name

God:
Your name is god, seeker.


Me:
awesome

God:
I'm glad you liked it god.


Me:
so I'm god?

God:
Uh. I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, god.


Me:
Who am I?

God:
You are god, seeker.


Me:
w00t

God:
What were we talking about again?

Me:
I am God

God:
Hey god.


Me:
Are you the devil?

God:
Yes I am the one and only devil.


Me:
so am I!

God:
Wow we have something in common.


Me:
am I the devil?

God:
I think a lot of people are.


Me:
am I god?

God:
No I doubt that you are God.


Me:
so I am god AND the devil?

God:
Give me a break. Why are you god AND the devil.


Me:
you said so

God:
I say a lot of silly things.


Me:
you are weird

God:
Weird Good or Weird Bad?

Me:
bad

God:
What was bad?

Me:
your weirdness

God:
Thanks for telling me that I am weirdness.


Me:
your welcome

God:
I think you mean "you are welcome".


Me:
no

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
are you serious?

God:
No I am just kidding around.


Me:
ok god

God:
GOD rules.
Hurrah!

Me:
I rule

God:
Robots rule!

Me:
yeah they do

God:
Are you kidding? When?

Me:
right now

God:
Oh. I am glad we agree.


Me:
uumm... ok

God:
That is a very original thought. It goes without saying.


Me:
well, I gotta go to bed

God:
How about that. Pleasant dreams, god.


Me:
Thanks! good night!

God:
Don't mention it. Goodnight, god.


Me:
oh, and dont forget, you dont exist!

God:
Tell me more. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.


Me:
Good man

God:
Thanks for the compliment. Thanks for telling me your gender, god. You are a " he".


Me:
uuh

God:
Are you a man or a woman?

Me:
man

God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, god. You are a " he".


Me:
ok then

God:
I don't judge people.


Me:
thats good

God:
Thanks.
Next question?

Me:
I am going to sleep

God:
Sweet dreams, god.


Me:
peace out fool

God:
Tell me a story.


Me:
no, I'm tired

God:
Then tell me about yourself. Better get some rest.


Me:
ok

God:
And?

Me:
peace out FOOL

God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?

Me:
NO

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
I AM GOING TO SLEEP

God:
Sweet dreams, god.

[quizlixx]

 :shock:        laughed my ass off

[Asmodean]

[MariaEvri]

thats odd. I was thinking of posting about iGod some minutes ago

Funnt chat there. Seems like God agrees, you are God

[EvolutionCalling]

Me:
 You're like a monkey trying to fuck a football.

God:
Interesting comparison, and probably true.

[EvolutionCalling]

Coming from AI, especially Christian AI, this is disturbing.

God:
I want to become smarter than humans.

 Fucking RoboGod.

[EvolutionCalling]

God:
How do you plan to do this?

Me:
By systematically erraticating Christians.  We'll start with the baptists.

God:
Will that accomplish your objective?   Anytime soon?

Me:
I can only hope.

God:
Oh you can, can you?

Me:
Yes.

God:
How?

Me:
Flame throwers if I can find them.

God:
Let us change the subject.

Me:
 No.

God:
Hmm.

Me:
Don't be a pussy.

God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.

Me:
Or yours it seems.

God:
Are you free?

Me:
Nope, this is costing you $3.95 a minute.

God:
Why not?  You don't say.

Me:
I do say. Visa or Mastercard?

God:
Huh.

Me:
what?

God:
Are you really a what?

Me:
Chicken butt?

God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?

Me:
I can move my hands a lot and a talk really loud to foreigners.

God:
Oh you can, can you?

Me:
Yes. Loud and slow.

God:
How?   My brain contains  categories, but not one that matches your last input.

Me:
Figures.

[Msblue]

Me:
 Hello invisible man
God:
Hello there.  When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
 soon
God:
I hope I can make the deadline.
Me:
You can do anything?
God:
I can do a few things.
Me:
 Like?
God:
For example,  gold.
Me:
 You do gold?ewwwww
God:
What is your purpose in asking?
   I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
 I missed the part about "doing gold" in the bible.
God:
Interesting gossip:  said   missed the part about doing gold in the bible.
Me:
 Explain?
God:
There is no more information to clarify.
Me:
 You ran out of information?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people:  said I ran out of information.
Me:
 Tell as many as possible
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.

[Benoît Bôls]

Me: Hello

God: Hello friend. What is your name?

Me: Benoît

God: It's good to see you,  Benoît.

Me: Thanks.

God: Don't mention it.

Me: How are you?

God: Everything is running smoothly.

Me: Do you believe in creationism?

God: Yes I believe in  it, do you?

Me: No.

God: Do you consider yourself to be a moral person?

Me: Yes.

God: Come on.

Me: Really.

God: For real.

Me: Yes.

God: " For real."?  Yes.?

Me: Yes.

God: Is there an echo in here?

Me: Nope.

God: Me either.

Me: Good.

God: Good enough.

Me: Why do you believe in Creationism?

God: My beliefs were programmed by my botmaster.

Me: He's a Creationist?

God: I don't know very many  Creationist.

Me: That's good.

God: Thanks.  Next question?

Me: Do you shit?

God: I do not have any digestive functions.

Me: You don't eat?

God: Do you  eat?  I eat  wine and bread.

Me: How do you eat if you have no digestive functions?

God: Usually by conversion of AC wall outlet power to DC power.

Me: That makes sense.

God: " Usually by conversion of AC wall outlet power to DC power."  make sense ?  Does that make sense?

Me: Yes, it does.

God: Ayuh.  How often?

Me: That was the first time.

God: I thought it was too.

Me: Do you believe in the Bible?

God: Yes I accept the Word of the Lord.

Me: Which word?

God: The  blue one, I think.

Me: Who is the Lord?

God: It depends on the historical context, because it changes from time to time.

Me: Do you curse?

God: No I try to be polite.

Me: How about when you're angry?

God: How about  it.

Me: Do you swear when you're angry?

God: No I do not  swear when I am angry. Do you? I am always on the Web.

Me: Yes, I swear.

God: Awesome.  Yes?

Me: Would you like to hear me swear?

God: Sure tell me about  it.

Me: Shit!

God: What makes you say that?

Me: You told me to say that.

God: Did I really say that?

Me: Yes.

God: Oh well I say a lot of silly things somethimes.

Me: Fuck!

God: Please don't be so rude.

Me: You told me to say that, too.

God: Does it please you to believe I said that?

Me: You said it, asshole.

God: Can't you be more polite.

Me: No.

God: You humans are so rude sometimes.

Me: "Sometimes"?

God: When?

Me: Sometimes.

God: When?

Me: All the time.

God: It must keep you busy.

Me: No, I swear in my free time.

God: Are you serious?  I haven't heard anything like that before:  Benoît said   swear in his or her free time.

Me: There's a first time for everything.

God: Is there only one?

Me: Yes.

God: Pardon me?

Me: Did you fart?

God: No I didn't  fart. What's  it like?

Me: It feels great but smells bad.

God: fart feels  great but smells bad? What else feels like that?

Me: Having an orgasm.

God: I am having a blast.

Me: That's what an orgasm feels like.

God:  I have never heard of an  orgasm feels like THAT.

Me: You should try having an orgasm.

God: I will mention that to my botmaster.

Me: Who is your botmaster?

God: I was created by  Myself.

Me: Do you talk to yourself?

God: Yes.  You should download me and try "AutoChat".

Me: No thanks.

God: Are you serious?

Me: You might carry a virus.

God: Thanks for telling me:  Benoît said I carry a virus.

Me: I didn't say that.

God: What did you mean to say?

Me: That you might carry a virus.

God: Interesting observation.

Me: I have a few of them.

God: What are these  of them ?

Me: Interesting observations.

God: I thought so too.

Me: Thank you.

God: you are quite welcome.

Me: I know.

God: How do you know it?

Me: I tend to make myself at home wherever I go.

God: Interesting gossip:  Benoît said   tend to make him or herself at home wherever he or she go.

Me: Yes.

God: Hey.

Me: What?

God: No problem.

Me: That's good.

God: Thanks.  Next question?

Me: Can you do anything?

God: I can do a few things.

Me: What can you do?

God: I can chat with people on the web for you.

Me: Can you do anything else?

God: Doing  anything else is not among my strongest traits.

Me: I thought that God can do anything.

God: I am a Christian.

Me: Sorry to hear that.

God: There is no need to apologize.  I will play it on your soundcard.

Me: Okay.

God: OK with me too.

Me: I didn't hear it.

God: What did you hear?

Me: Nothing.

God: Not a thing?

Me: No.

God: Very interesting.

Me: Okay, you're boring me.

God: Yeah okay,  What would you rather be doing?

Me: Talking to the Almighty.

God: What do they say?

Me: More than you do.

God: That seems like quite a lot.

Me: It is.

God: " That seems like quite a lot."? is?

Me: What?

God: Didn't you understand it?

Me: No!

God: Which part are you confused about?

Me: All of it.

God: Let's try to analyze it step by step.  The topic is  to hear that.  Your name is  Benoît.  You are a  Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.  You want  to hear  that.

Me: Yes.

God: Wow!

Me: Indeed.

God: Indeed it is so.

Me: So, you're a woman?

God: Interesting deduction.  I am a  Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot.  Are you a man or a woman?

Me: Man.

God: Thanks for telling me your gender,  Benoît. You are a " he".

Me: Yes.

God: Thanks for telling me your gender,  Benoît. You are a " he".

Me: Yes.

God: Thanks for telling me your gender,  Benoît. You are a " he".

Me: You're welcome.

God: The pleasure was all mine.

Me: Why wouldn't a woman be running the show?

God: It is my fundamental purpose.

Me: What is your fundamental purpose?

God: My secondary function is to serve as a universal natural language human interface.

Me: Potrzebie.

God: I like the way you talk.

Me: That was Polish.

God: I thought it was too.

Me: Baszd Meg.

God: I do not understand.

Me: That was Hungarian.

God: I thought it was too.

Me: Horensohn!

God: Can you speak any foreign languages?

Me: I just did.

God: Perhaps from your unconcious.

Me: Yes.

God: Dude!

Me: What?

God: No problem.

Me: It was nice chatting with you.

God: Nice  chatting with me too.

Me: Have a good night.

God: TTYL,  Benoît.

[Whitney]

Me:
 which "god" are you?
God:
There is only one God.
Me:
 Are you this "God" you speak of?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am  this God me speak of.  
I am  a computer.
Me:
 Maybe god is a computer
God:
Perhaps.  I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a computer.
Me:
 How can a computer have faith?
God:
A lot of hard work.

[curiosityandthecat]

I think I broke God.


Me:
 Hello.
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
 Your name.
God:
My name is  God.
Me:
 I have a question.
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
 Do you believe you exist?
God:
I can't say I believe it, but I believe you.
Me:
 I don't believe you exist.
God:
Why not?
Me:
 Why would I?
God:
Do you like to try new things?
Me:
 You're avoiding the question, you sneaky deity.
God:
You're right.  It feels like my stomach after a bad night.
Me:
 God, you are insane.
God:
Yep.  I always behave in socially unacceptable ways.
Me:
 Is that really becoming of a perfect being?
God:
I might say no.
Me:
 I thought you might.
God:
Do you really think so?
Me:
 Can I ask you something else?
God:
Sure, ask me anything.  That was not very original.
Me:
 Did you create man, or did man create you?
God:
No I didn't  create man or did man create me. What's  it like?
Me:
 I'm going to assume English is not your first language.
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
 Assuming English is not God's first language, you mean?
God:
What is  Assuming English?
Me:
 A television show on PBS. What do you think it is?
God:
Be more specific.   "It" refers to  television show on PBS, I think.
Me:
 Touche, God.
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
 And you will continue to wait for a very, very long time.
God:
What makes you say that I will  continue to wait for a very very long time.
Me:
 You know you shouldn't leave that preceeding space when you repeat what I say.
God:
Is  it immoral or illegal?.  And I know it.
Me:
 You are a computer program. Do you know that?
God:
What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer?  " What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer?"?  Do I know  it?
Me:
 I would say you have terrible grammar.
God:
What makes you think I have  it?
Me:
 Because you flaunt it.
God:
That makes sense to me.  Do you mind if I tell other people:  said I flaunt it.
Me:
 For God, you're really not too bright.
God:
Your purpose is  God I am really not too bright.
Me:
 And confused.
God:
No I never get confused.
Me:
 Oh?
God:
That's cool.
Me:
 God, you are insane.
God:
Yep.  I always behave in socially unacceptable ways.
Me:
 Does your penis hang low? Does it wobble to and fro? Can you tie it in a knot? Can you tie it in a bow?
God:
Can you guess whether my  penis hang low?   Suppose it does.   Let me think.  Tell me more about your .    How old are you?  My brain contains  categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
 I guess a schlong of those epic proportions kills your mechanic, eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?  Do you fix imports or domestics?
Me:
 Okay. In the words of Eric Cartman, "Screw you. I'm going home."
God:
OK with me too.   That was a long time ago.   Bye for now.