Evolution in the bible

[zorkan]

The pious can't have it all their own way by saying that all life was plonked down fully formed in a day.

The bible supports evolution.
Dragons, unicorns, satyrs and the cockatrice are all the bible.
Extinctions and transitional species are supported by evolution.

Dragon: cross between lion and bird.
Unicorn: cross between horse and rhino (possibly).
Satyr: cross between man and goat.

As for the one and only cockatrice: only god knows.

https://www.craiyon.com/image/hSa8owA8QZ6Vzh8V8zkSoQ 

https://www.biblestudy.org/bible-study-by-topic/mythical-animals-in-the-bible/cockatrice.html

"And the sucking child shall play on the hole of the asp (in reference to the peace brought by the millennial reign of Christ), and the weaned child shall put his hand on the cockatrice den (Isaiah 11:8, KJV)"

[Asmodean]

Mermaids. Seemingly-mammals, what with having usually-sizable boobs, at least in the more modern depictions, but one has to wonder, how do they do the nasty? I mean, do mermen just release their seed into the water in the hopes that it may get inside a mermaid? Would that be against the lord's command not to spilleth one's seedeth? Or is it only wrong to spilleth it on the groundeth, in shich case you can wank off to your heart's content, as long as you do it in the shower?

...Or are mermaids quite simply of Satan, and thus a abomination unto the lord?

It's high philosophy, this is. Important questions what need answering. For the betterment of humanity as well as mermaidity.

[zorkan]

Where are mermaids or mermen mentioned in the bible?

quote: The Bible does not specifically address the existence of mermaids, nor does it mention any similar creature. However, some Christians believe that the existence of mermaids is possible because God created a vast and diverse world with many creatures, some of which are yet to be discovered.

They could be there then, but just out of sight at the moment.
Might be a reference to the dugong.
https://cosmosmagazine.com/nature/amoty/mammal-dugongs-mermaid-mythology/

[Asmodean]

They are just like gods, you see. I mean, it could have been mermaids doing their mermaiding.

Come to think of it, grasses spill their seeds into the wind and are seemingly LORD-approved, so as long as you spank the proverbial monkey in a wind tunnel, you're going straight to Heaven.

...Wind tunnels, showers... If you use a paper towel and then burn it off the ground... Methinks I'm starting to identify some clever loopholes in His stern command.

[zorkan]

Have to assume that breeding pairs of unicorns and satyrs were on Noah's Ark.
Dragons and cockatrices might have been circling overhead.
Mermaids, had they existed, and other aquatic species would be in their natural habitat.

What could throw some doubt on biblical evolution is the discovery of a cockatrice in the pre-Cambrian.
The oldest geological layer can only have dated back  6000 years.

[zorkan]

First animal in god's creation appears to have been the behemoth.
From the book of Job.

Take now behemoth, whom I made as I did you;
He eats grass, like the cattle.
His strength is in his loins,
His might in the muscles of his belly.
He makes his tail stand up like a cedar;
The sinews of his thighs are knit together.
His bones are like tubes of bronze,
His limbs like iron rods.
He is the first of God's works.

As I would like to hear a sermon on this powerful creature, do you know one?

[Asmodean]

Loins, six-packs, up-standing cedars and iron rods, eh? What was it, a gay-vague wrestler from Ancient Greece?

The homoerotic metaphor is strong with our good friend Work.

[Icarus]

It would seem that when Noah's Ark landed, after the deluge had receded, all the beasts were released to go forth as they pleased.

It must be true that the predator beasts chilled out long enough for the beasts of prey to reproduce. Meanwhile the predators became very hungry. Out of necessity, they became vegetarians. That is how the consumption of Broccoli, Cabbage and Brussels Sprouts became a staple among humans. The outcome is that farts were invented and practiced among all the mammals in the Lords Kingdom.

[Asmodean]

...Also the ark landed on all the mermaids and squished them to death. That's why no mermaids today.

[zorkan]

Don't be ridiculous.
Mermaids would have sensed the ark and fled.

What we know about behemoths from the bible is that they were vegetarian.
They could be what we now call a dinosaur. I'll guess at the Stegosaurus, as it was both powerful and mighty and vegetarian.
We also know that grass was provided ready grown for them when they were plonked down by god within the 6 days of creation week.
It's evidence that humans walked the earth with these large creatures.
As all the large land dinosaurs are now extinct it proves evolution is part of the bible.
Extinction is a vital element of evolution.
If the dino's hadn't become extinct humans would not be here to take over from them as rulers of the planet.

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=stegosaurus+facts&safe=active&sca_esv=ae00ca4afbc9d4da&ei=GjTXZaCWGvuphbIPxM68oAE&oq=Stegosaurus&gs_lp=Egxnd3Mtd2l6LXNlcnAiC1N0ZWdvc2F1cnVzKgIIAjIQEC4YQxiDARixAxiABBiKBTIFEAAYgAQyBRAAGIAEMgUQABiABDIFEAAYgAQyBRAAGIAEMgUQABiABDIFEAAYgAQyBRAAGIAEMg4QABiABBiKBRixAxiDAUirTVAAWABwAHgAkAEAmAGeAaABngGqAQMwLjG4AQHIAQD4AQL4AQHCAh8QLhhDGIMBGLEDGIAEGIoFGJcFGNwEGN4EGN8E2AEBugYGCAEQARgU&sclient=gws-wiz-serp

[Asmodean]

Yeah, but a Stego had beer belly, not one of them x-packs that was implied by the good prophet.

[zorkan]

Only if it gets up on its hind legs.
See picture 2.

https://www.alamy.com/stock-photo/fat-belly-animal.html?sortBy=relevant

2 Stego's upright standing facing each other might look like a cedar tree.

[zorkan]

On Noah's Ark must also have been a breeding pair of kangaroos having hopped all the way from Australia and arriving just in time for the big flood.
But how did they cross the sea?
Must assume that kangeroos were found everywhere before, then after the waters went down the surviving couple migrated down under.
Noah's age at the time was 600 years and the event happened 5000 BC.

https://abcnews.go.com/Technology/evidence-suggests-biblical-great-flood-noahs-time-happened/story?id=17884533#:~:text=By%20carbon%20dating%20shells%20found,Noah%27s%20flood%20could%20have%20occurred.

If evolution is true then why have there not been any more significant evolved species since?
Fossils prove the flood happened in the form of individuals that were turned away.
Rewrites all history, geography and biology.

[zorkan]

Survival of the fittest was a term made at the time of Darwin.
Great beasts of Africa had to cross the mighty Nile and desert before arriving at the ark.
Only the very fittest could have made it,, also proving an aspect of evolution.
Not sure how Noah catered for all their different diets.
He would need to have fenced off species that were likely to consume each other.

Stowaways might have included thousands of different types of beetles.
God never grew tired of creating beetles.

"The Creator, if He exists, has "an inordinate fondness for beetles". If one could conclude as to the nature of the Creator from a study of creation, it would appear that God has an inordinate fondness for stars and beetles." (JBS Haldane).

[billy rubin]

and no rabbits in the precambrian.