Marcus A v. No one in the Octagon: Who wins?

[Ecurb Noselrub]

Marcus A would come on strong with a flurry of words and bring No one to the floor, but then No one would counter with biting sarcasm and even things up. After that, I predict that No one would win in the third round with an illegal move that the referee failed to catch.

[MarcusA]

I win even when I lose.

[Asmodean]

Plot twist; in barges The Asmo, all belligerent and filled with overspun metaphor.

...It's mayhem out there!

[MarcusA]

MarcusA opens up with a barrage against The Asmo and ends in a small whimper.

[Asmodean]

The Asmo unleashes a vicious metaphor, bordering on sexual harrassment, against No one, then follows up with an uncontroversial argument, constructed in highly controversial terms, in the general direction of an onlooker with particularly nasty blue armpit hair.

[Ecurb Noselrub]

Ms. Blue Pits responds by revealing her privates, which are .... fuchsia. Asmo turns in disgust, Marcus A faints, and No one calls 911.

[Dark Lightning]

911 arrives and waves a capsule below Marcus' nose. He staggers off towards the octagon, ready for a fight.

[MarcusA]

MarcusA staggers but he doesn't fall.

[Asmodean]

Ms. Blue Pits responds by revealing her privates, which are .... fuchsia. Asmo turns in disgust, Marcus A faints, and No one calls 911.

The Asmo throws a blob of His own clay to plug the offending orifice immediately, thus negating most of the damage while simultaneously committing at least five different microaggressions and one kind-of macro one. Then, He grumpily prepares a scathing remark about gender being a reference to one's sex, relative age and species - nothing more. That ought to show them pits! 

[MarcusA]

Ach, gender politics. Such fun, not.

[MarcusA]

Let's talk about race, not.

[MarcusA]

MarcusA punches above his weight.

[MarcusA]

MarcusA goes down like a fart in a space suit.

[Asmodean]

The Asmo finally runs Ms. Pits off with a well-timed donning of a MAGA hat. She runs over to Twitter to complain and possibly try again at that whole #cancelTheAsmo business.

[MarcusA]

MarcusA drops a fart in the ring.