mission trip rant

[susangail]

So my dad is going on a mission trip to CHINA!!! Come on! They can't even call it the China trip. They have to call it "East Asia" because China doesn't allow missionaries. Shouldn't that be some sort of clue that they should, oh I don't know... NOT GO?!?! I'm so scared for my dad now. I wasn't until just a few days ago. He's been buying stuff for his trip and everyone is talking about it. Me and my mom are trying to help him gain weight because he's too small (they're going to be hiking some six miles a day at high altitudes). Oh and the encouragement letters we have to write are just the icing on the cake!! They're are letters friends and family write now that the missionaries will read when they are there. It's supposed to be stuff like: "Good job listening to what the Lord wants of you! Here are some verses...." What the hell am I supposed to write?!?! I make the mistake of asking my mom. She read me hers and then went on this long thing about her and my dad's experiences in YWAM (Youth With A Mission, missions training, where they met) and how the Lord got her through it and how great He is and blah blah blah... She doesn't say things like that on purpose, it's just how she talks, but I sometimes wonder if she forgets I'm an atheist. It would be nice if she could pull back on the reins just a bit. I hold back every second of every day and they can't do that just a little?

But no, everyone around here won't shut up about how great the Lord is! and how this trip is such a blessing! UGH!!!!! Seems like they're all forgetting the little fact that CHINA IS FUCKING DANGEROUS!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, but it's okay, they're praying for the team! Right, I forgot about that! Now everything is okay cause it's in God's hands. If they survive and have a great trip, He gets the credit and glory. And if they die, it's in His Plan, so it's all good.

I had a horrible nightmare last night that he died. Everyone was saying that it was His Will and and not to worry and not to cry cause he's in a "better place". I was the only one without a dry face and a smile. I screamed at the top of my lungs and no one heard me.

I know it will probably all be okay and I'm just being dramatic, whatever whatever. This is just how I feel when I think too much. I just feel like I'm the only one that is thinking of the risks of this trip, or at least the only one not hiding behind a mask of prayer. That's all I hear if I ever bring this up. "All we can do it pray." ugh. I've built up a lot of resentment of my dad, esp recently. I'm just starting to realize now how much I really love him despite that.

Thanks for reading.

P.S. I ended up writing some mumbo jumbo about how it doesn't seem like he's gone and whatnot, in my encouragement letter.

[EvolutionCalling]

My sister (whom hasn't written me back yet) went on a mission trip to China.  Took my niece with her too.  I was impressed that she put her daughter at risk for God's sake.  

[MommaSquid]

Gee, susangail, I hardly know what to say.  Tell your dad how you feel about the dangerous situation he's putting himself in.  It probably won't change his mind, but this seems like a 'speak now or forever hold your peace' sort of situation.  Sadly, you can't stop a grown man from doing what he wants to do.

I'm sorry for your stress.

[weedoch]

Hi Susangail. One of the downsides to not having a religion is going without the fateful certainties. When you know there is no plan or higher power watching over you, the risks seem pointless to take, even selfish, as you might waste your one shot at life. This is existential dread and everyone who thinks a little has it. Your father doesn't see the risks of travelling, as he firmly believes in a plan guiding him, and even if he didn't everyone makes questionable choices from time to time. China isn't anywhere near as dangerous for foreign nationals as it is for its own citizens, particularly this year with the eyes of the world watching, so he will almost certainly be fine. The most important part of all this is how you deal with your anxiety, and keep it at manageable levels.
Tell your dad you love him - he'll get a kick out of hearing it and it might make you happy to say it!

[susangail]

Hi Susangail. One of the downsides to not having a religion is going without the fateful certainties. When you know there is no plan or higher power watching over you, the risks seem pointless to take, even selfish, as you might waste your one shot at life. This is existential dread and everyone who thinks a little has it. Your father doesn't see the risks of travelling, as he firmly believes in a plan guiding him, and even if he didn't everyone makes questionable choices from time to time. China isn't anywhere near as dangerous for foreign nationals as it is for its own citizens, particularly this year with the eyes of the world watching, so he will almost certainly be fine. The most important part of all this is how you deal with your anxiety, and keep it at manageable levels.
Tell your dad you love him - he'll get a kick out of hearing it and it might make you happy to say it!

Wow, thank you. That perspective really eases my mind.


And thank you to everyone else as well! Don't worry, I'm not this crazy 24/7, I just needed to get this out.

[afreethinker30]

Susangail I do have a suggestion for the letter you have to write.Don't bullshit about a God you don't believe in.But just let your dad know that you love him.Maybe even put in about some of the fun you got to have as a family.I know you don't want him going.But people can be stubborn on things alot of the time.Weedoch is right on with everything going on there.All eyes are on China,so I'm sure tourist right now are being treated respectfully.

[susangail]

Susangail I do have a suggestion for the letter you have to write.Don't bullshit about a God you don't believe in.But just let your dad know that you love him.Maybe even put in about some of the fun you got to have as a family.I know you don't want him going.But people can be stubborn on things alot of the time.Weedoch is right on with everything going on there.All eyes are on China,so I'm sure tourist right now are being treated respectfully.

Oh thank you. I already wrote it. I didn't make up anything, don't worry. I just said I loved him and that I missed him and I made an inside joke. It was short, but it was sweet. But thank you again.

[afreethinker30]

Susangail I do have a suggestion for the letter you have to write.Don't bullshit about a God you don't believe in.But just let your dad know that you love him.Maybe even put in about some of the fun you got to have as a family.I know you don't want him going.But people can be stubborn on things alot of the time.Weedoch is right on with everything going on there.All eyes are on China,so I'm sure tourist right now are being treated respectfully.

Oh thank you. I already wrote it. I didn't make up anything, don't worry. I just said I loved him and that I missed him and I made an inside joke. It was short, but it was sweet. But thank you again.

Aww I was late.I seem to keep doing that.

[susangail]

Aww I was late.I seem to keep doing that.

It's all good.