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Started by familyfarm, June 19, 2018, 12:45:13 AM

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Hello, I've never been on an atheist forum before but have searched over the years. I've been an atheist since very small but raised by a German, strict and devout Catholic. I never really took it seriously though as I loved her. I had questions about everything and really didn't believe it but was confused a long time as anyone when told to stop asking questions. I studied the bible and theism, tried to follow the route especially after a first failed marriage from an abusive alcoholic and then losing my grandmother. Had no other close family and children to raise so I really tried to be very involved in a church for support but it always left me feeling frustrated and feeling really doubtful. I saw it from a more philosophical view but couldn't really stomach the downplay of science, etc.

I left trying with religion and started reading about Buddhism. I read everything I could and believed very much in the Bodhisattva teachings as a way of life. Not to confuse me for Buddhist but I believe in the science of it, the search for more knowledge, respect and questioning, lack of judgement and the outlook even on my life in general and maybe frustration at the past abuse in my life, etc. Not from an emotional view of good and bad but more from a philosophical view and the techniques with meditation.

I met my amazing husband whom lived in Italy. After a couple years going back and forth, many very deep discussions and probably the most profound first years of dating with our visits for the fact that his family is also very Italian Catholic and he had never really known someone with my views although they were a first connection in the philosophical readings and the fascination with Buddhism but more, it, with his help, brought everything home and clearly to me. My husband spent our first years of my visits taking me to the different churches in Rome, the Vatican and many Roman artifacts with real ties to the history of religion. He didn't show them to me in a theological way, he showed them to me in a way I keep with me in my awe. The history of it. It was rich and not judgemental or pushy. It was quiet and reverent and religion there was something I had never seen. It made me understand that there was nothing wrong with the fact that I didn't feel the belief and in a very strange way, it let me understand why my grandmother was.

My husband and I never wanted to marry. This is a huge contention I have. Neither of us. We made a commitment to each other on a date 12 years ago that I hold as our marriage, with his agreement. We had to marry for immigration guidelines although we always planned to live in his country. I and the kids moved to Italy the same year and lived there for 5 years before my son wanted to really come back for college, etc. His family was also dying and they were the main reason we always planned to stay there. We went through the very long separation and process (18 months) and moved, very stupidly, to Fla. I am from NY but just didn't want to throw him in snow.

We came back in 2014. My son is 20 now and ftm transgender. My husband and son did a lot with the help of a man in Cal whom did a lot to get implements, etc through customs and Matt transitioned at the age of 13. We went to many gay parades in Rome and he was even very popular there with small merchants very helpful and understanding. We didn't even question it actually. We did get a lot on fb from his biological father's family with bible quotes calling him 'devil' and other things so we shut it down but we chalked that up to their very extreme christian view and shut it down. We had to purchase our home without seeing it per immigration guidelines of re-establishing domicile and just had no clue the area was so southern in mentality. You can imagine my son went through hell after we got here. this is already long but suffice it to say they pushed him so far over the next couple years with the bullying, hateful words and then the elections with the signs and other horrible things, he tried to kill himself and we were surrounded by really hateful, extreme political christians. Hurricane Irma hit and we were already trying to move so we just left everything and started over after purchasing a home in NY with what we collected from our Fl home after damages were assessed. My son is happy, this place is wonderful and he is Christian. He also understands my personal feelings and we talk at length. We also support him in every way, that includes the church he goes to.

One last thing-hubby and I are amazing trekkies and sci fi geeks. Sorry so long. Haven't had many people to share this with.


Hello and welcome to the forum!

If I may ask are you familiar with the English language? Early on I thought you were the guy in the picture because you said "I never took it as seriously as I loved her." Then as I read I started to think otherwise and that was confirmed when I saw the female symbol on your profile here.

But it's nice to meet you and it seems we have had a lot of similar interests! I do also study religion for coping mechanism but identify as an atheist.

It's nice to know that you support your child in that way as well! :D
It's Okay To Say You're Welcome
     Just let people be themselves.
     Arturo The1  リ壱


Hello, Ff,  and greetings.

That's a long story, as you say, and an intriguing one! I can relate to your questioning nature from quite young, I asked enough questions for me to be "thrown out" of Sunday school.

Though no longer a full Trekky sci-fi has been my main reading interest since I was old enough to go to the library alone, about age 7 (so bout 64 years ago, things seemed gentler, safer back then in London). Though I have branched into fantasy and "near-future-fiction" since then.
Tomorrow is precious, don't ruin it by fouling up today.
Passed Monday 10th Dec 2018 age 74


Welcome!  :wave hi:

Thank you for your introduction post, yours is certainly an interesting story! I think there are lots of interesting discussions to be had. :smilenod:

I think it's great that your son has such a supportive family, that sort of thing can really help one deal with all the obnoxious, hateful and backwards-thinking types of people the world is filled with.
I am what survives if it's slain - Zack Hemsey


That was an interesting introduction. I think you will enjoy being a part of our little family of caring atheists. It's very good to hear that your son is happier in his new surroundings.
"Eventually everything connects - people, ideas, objects. The quality of the connections is the key to quality per se."
― Charles Eames


Hi :)

Loved your intro. So you're a lady of German origins and have always live in the USA all your life?

Welcome to HAF.

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.


Hello! Welcome to this place! It is indeed so good to just be able to share your experiences and thoughts and stories, and it sounds like you have lots of those!
I'm glad you're here and I look forward to some discussions with you in them :spagwelcome:
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. ~ Plato (?)


Hello and welcome to HAF, familyfarm. Your detailed intro is much appreciated, and I also look forward to hearing more from you.  :)
"Religion is fundamentally opposed to everything I hold in veneration — courage, clear thinking, honesty, fairness, and above all, love of the truth."
— H. L. Mencken


Nice to meet you... Welcome!

(full disclosure: I'm a Klingon)

:spock: :picard facepalm:


Quote from: joeactor on June 19, 2018, 10:23:44 PM
Nice to meet you... Welcome!

(full disclosure: I'm a Klingon)

:spock: :picard facepalm:

What's a Klingon? Do they cling onto something? :???:

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.
I am what survives if it's slain - Zack Hemsey


Quote from: xSilverPhinx on June 19, 2018, 11:41:25 PM
Quote from: joeactor on June 19, 2018, 10:23:44 PM
Nice to meet you... Welcome!

(full disclosure: I'm a Klingon)

:spock: :picard facepalm:

What's a Klingon? Do they cling onto something? :???:

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

I'm certain there's a Uranus joke there somewhere...


Hi Familyfarm, very glad to meet you. Wow!  You certainly have lad an eventful life to this point!  I too am a big science fiction fan, have you read the "Expanse" series by James S.A. Corey?  They've made it into a TV series which I also enjoy, but it is a bit different to the books, much like the difference between the books and the series of Game of Throne, except the books of the expanse are very readable.  LOL  I hope you enjoy it here.  Looking forward to many interesting discussions about whatever.
+++ Divide by cucumber error: please reinstall universe and reboot.  +++

GNU Terry Pratchett


That was a pleasing introduction FamilyFarm.   You will find us a caring and understanding group and I sincerely hope that you will participate here in a non judgemental way.  We are intelligent and caring people as you may soon discover.  Welcome to the forum. Please continue.


I am very, very sorry for this "farm themed" piece, it is quite punfull - but am going to subject y'all to it anyway!  :grin:

"We are not sheep to be cowed by the bull that theists throw at us! Neither are we so chicken that we will duck the tough issues that we are confronted with. In the field of human thought we do our best to plough a steady line, despite the harrowing others offer us. They seek to get our goat but we can be as stubbon as mules in sticking to our patch. We do our best to sow the seeds of rationality amongst Gadarene swine hoping that future generations will reap a harvest of reality, though many fall on fallow or infertile ground. But we continue to milk every situation we can for a maximum yield!"

PS ammenments and additions welcomed.
Tomorrow is precious, don't ruin it by fouling up today.
Passed Monday 10th Dec 2018 age 74


Welcome ff!  I think you'll find this place suits you. ;D