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Punishing puns! and spoonerisms and malapropisms etc.

Started by Tank, December 19, 2015, 11:49:35 AM

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Tank

#135
January 23, 2016, 11:57:00 AM
The Duracell bunny has been arrested. He's charged with battery.
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Tank

#136
January 23, 2016, 02:21:48 PM
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

joeactor

#137
January 23, 2016, 02:32:01 PM
Quote from: Tank on January 23, 2016, 10:33:25 AM
So I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, that's aboriginal...

took me a bit - good one (can look at it 3 ways)

Tank

#138
January 26, 2016, 05:58:06 PM
I'm sorry to hear your uncle was run over by a boat in Venice.
My gondolences.
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Tank

#139
January 28, 2016, 01:27:06 PM
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Guardian85

#140
January 28, 2016, 02:08:41 PM
Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

Biggus Dickus

#141
January 28, 2016, 06:07:16 PM
Thanks to fossils, archaeologists have been able to determine that there once a genetic mutation millions of year ago, causing the creation of a five-legged dinosaur.

As far as we know, this is the first evidence we have ever seen of a reptile dysfunction.
:jaded rimshot:
"Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair."

Biggus Dickus

#142
January 29, 2016, 06:02:09 PM
"Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair."

Ecurb Noselrub

#143
January 29, 2016, 06:06:08 PM
Rancher Ralph raised Angora goats, but disease dwindled his herd to two pitiful billies. From that point forward, whenever there was an issue Rancher Ralph was considered to be the goat two guy.   

Tank

#144
February 03, 2016, 12:58:42 PM
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Tank

#145
February 03, 2016, 08:33:27 PM
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Tank

#146
February 05, 2016, 06:46:43 AM
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Biggus Dickus

#147
February 05, 2016, 02:10:18 PM
Knock Knock!
"Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair."

Claireliontamer

#148
February 05, 2016, 03:27:12 PM

Claireliontamer

#149
February 05, 2016, 03:29:33 PM
From one of my students:

I went to a zoo the other day, it only had one animal.  It was a Shih Tzu.
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