Creative Insults

[Ali]

"I'd call you a cunt but you lack the warmth and depth."

Bahahahahahahaha

[Non Quixote]

"I'd call you a cunt but you lack the warmth and depth."

That...is...funny!!

[OldGit]

Good one, Buddy!

I quite like the good old: 'if you had a brain cell, it would die of loneliness'.

[Non Quixote]

If I took your brain and shoved it up a gnat's ass, it would look like a BB in a boxcar.

[Firebird]

Mayor's wife: "Yogi, you look very cool in that suit."
Yogi Berra: "Thanks. You don't look so hot yourself."

[Firebird]

"I'd call you a cunt but you lack the warmth and depth."

Brilliant

[Ali]

"If brains were dynamite, he wouldn't have enough to blow his hat off his head."

[hismikeness]

His breath could knock a buzzard off a shitwagon.

[Ali]

LMAO.  What exactly is a shitwagon?

She looked like 5 lbs of shit in a 3 lb bag.

[xSilverPhinx]

There's this woman IRL who goes by the name of Finger. If you look at that name and imagine possibilites, as I did, it'd be easy to come up with a few insultive adaptations.
Turns out she's my nemesis, I loathe the woman and so amongst the unoriginal and commonplace names such as 'bitch', 'old hag' and such, I've added to my arsenal:

"I already have two opposible thumbs, don't need another" (which I think is bumper sticker worthy ).

"Sticky Fingers" (because she's a failed con artist...very long story, which I won't get into now).

"Finger coulodn't grasp a thing, even if there were four more of her" (because she's more than rather dim).

Some other people have gone a bit further, into downright dirtily offensive and sick, but I won't add those here. LOL

I know she's reading this thread.

[Will]

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!

[OldGit]

If you had twice the brains you have, you might just make half a halfwit.

He couldn't find his own arse with a pair of hunting dogs. (allegedly a Russian saying).

[hismikeness]

Git- yours reminded me of one...

He doesn't know his ass from a hot rock. Or, the variation: He doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground.

[OldGit]

Or- 'he doesn't know his arse from his elbow.'  That one's often heard over here.

[Sandra Craft]

"You couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the instructions on the heel."