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Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

Tank

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4485 on: June 21, 2020, 10:05:48 PM »
Off to Facebook with that one  :lol:
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
“Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt.” ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

billy rubin

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i would rather be ashes than dust

Randy

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4487 on: August 02, 2020, 04:42:20 PM »
Billy Rubin, I remember growing up watching Dave Allen. I still laugh at his jokes to this day.
"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

Dark Lightning

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4488 on: September 10, 2020, 10:55:10 PM »
It's a five minute walk from my house to the local pub, but a fifty minute walk back.


The difference is staggering.

Tank

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4489 on: September 11, 2020, 02:23:51 PM »
It's a five minute walk from my house to the local pub, but a fifty minute walk back.


The difference is staggering.

Nicked!
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
“Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt.” ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Dark Lightning

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4490 on: September 11, 2020, 06:21:46 PM »
It's a five minute walk from my house to the local pub, but a fifty minute walk back.


The difference is staggering.

Nicked!

Double nickers!  :thumbsup: I got it from another forum. I :lol: when I saw it.

Randy

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4491 on: September 12, 2020, 12:04:20 AM »
It's a five minute walk from my house to the local pub, but a fifty minute walk back.


The difference is staggering.

Nicked!

Double nickers!  :thumbsup: I got it from another forum. I :lol: when I saw it.
I groaned and then smiled. :)
"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

Tank

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4492 on: September 12, 2020, 09:59:23 AM »
It's a five minute walk from my house to the local pub, but a fifty minute walk back.


The difference is staggering.

Nicked!

Double nickers!  :thumbsup: I got it from another forum. I :lol: when I saw it.

It went down well :D
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
“Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt.” ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

xSilverPhinx

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4493 on: September 14, 2020, 09:58:51 PM »
It's a five minute walk from my house to the local pub, but a fifty minute walk back.


The difference is staggering.

 :picard facepalm:  :lol:
I lose myself infused in something more than what they've seen
I'm not a slave to greed
I don't embrace your make believe
I've never been for sale no matter what they think I need



Dark Lightning

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4494 on: September 19, 2020, 09:05:58 PM »
When the person who invented USB dies, they'll start to lower him into the ground, lift the coffin, turn it around, and then lower it again.

xSilverPhinx

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4495 on: September 28, 2020, 12:48:52 AM »
When the person who invented USB dies, they'll start to lower him into the ground, lift the coffin, turn it around, and then lower it again.

Just what that person deserves for making countless others suffer. :teadrink:

Though, perhaps more realistically, they will start to lower him into the ground, lift the coffin, turn it around, lower it again, lift it again and turn it around once more before finally lowering the coffin a final time.
I lose myself infused in something more than what they've seen
I'm not a slave to greed
I don't embrace your make believe
I've never been for sale no matter what they think I need



Randy

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4496 on: September 28, 2020, 12:59:32 AM »
When the person who invented USB dies, they'll start to lower him into the ground, lift the coffin, turn it around, and then lower it again.

Just what that person deserves for making countless others suffer. :teadrink:

Though, perhaps more realistically, they will start to lower him into the ground, lift the coffin, turn it around, lower it again, lift it again and turn it around once more before finally lowering the coffin a final time.
:lol: So true!
"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

Dark Lightning

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4497 on: September 28, 2020, 02:42:19 AM »
When the person who invented USB dies, they'll start to lower him into the ground, lift the coffin, turn it around, and then lower it again.

Just what that person deserves for making countless others suffer. :teadrink:

Though, perhaps more realistically, they will start to lower him into the ground, lift the coffin, turn it around, lower it again, lift it again and turn it around once more before finally lowering the coffin a final time.
:lol: So true!

:lol: But you both left out the "Dammit, which way does this thing go in!?".

Dark Lightning

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4498 on: September 28, 2020, 09:47:02 PM »



No one

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4499 on: September 28, 2020, 11:19:37 PM »
A man is headed home home, he gets stuck in traffic. After about 10 minutes, there is a knock on his window. He rolls it down:

Driver: "What's going on?"

Stranger: "A terrorist group has seized the first family. They are demanding 500 million dollars, or they will douse them in gasoline, and set them on fire we are accepting donations."

Driver: "How much is everyone donating? "

Stranger: "About 1/2 a gallon."