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Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

Magdalena

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“I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe.” ~Recusant

Randy

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4501 on: September 29, 2020, 08:24:01 AM »
:rofl:
"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

Tom62

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4502 on: September 29, 2020, 12:55:40 PM »
Putin and Trump are flying across Russia on a plane.

Putin: If I throw down a 10 ruble bill, I would make a Russian happy.

Trump: that's nothing! If I throw down a ten dollar bill, I would make a whole Russian family happy.

Pilot: If I crashed this plane, I would make the whole world happy.
The universe never did make sense; I suspect it was built on government contract.
Robert A. Heinlein

Randy

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4503 on: September 29, 2020, 04:03:44 PM »
It would be even funnier if it weren't so true. :grin:
"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

Ecurb Noselrub

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4504 on: October 01, 2020, 09:54:05 PM »
Q:  where do you take someone who is seriously injured playing peekaboo?




A: ICU


Yes, it’s infantile.

Randy

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4505 on: October 02, 2020, 12:51:04 AM »
Two sardines are swimming along minding their own business when suddenly one sees a submarine. The first sardine says to the second sardine, "Hey, wadda ya know, canned people!"
"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

Dark Lightning

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4506 on: October 23, 2020, 01:16:10 AM »
beep beep!


xSilverPhinx

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4507 on: October 23, 2020, 01:29:32 AM »
beep beep!



:lol: So fast the plank captured and trapped his soul!
I lose myself infused in something more than what they've seen
I'm not a slave to greed
I don't embrace your make believe
I've never been for sale no matter what they think I need



Dark Lightning

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4508 on: October 23, 2020, 02:49:22 AM »
beep beep!



:lol: So fast the plank captured and trapped his soul!

:lol: One can actually find things like this in wood all the time. I've cut into planks and found "owl's faces" many times. If you look to the left in the picture, you can see where a distorted version of the "ostrich" is in another board. All kinds of interesting things show up in wood.

Or maybe that second board a sloth that fell out of a tree. They sure as hell don't go fast any other way.  ;D

Tank

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If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
“Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt.” ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

xSilverPhinx

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4510 on: November 08, 2020, 12:37:24 AM »
Q: Why can't Trump continue to live in the White House?

Spoiler: ShowHide
A: Because it's for Biden! :grin:


I lose myself infused in something more than what they've seen
I'm not a slave to greed
I don't embrace your make believe
I've never been for sale no matter what they think I need



Icarus

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4511 on: November 08, 2020, 01:34:29 AM »
Some smarty pants sign makers are using banners to spell: By-Don.  (smile). 

Randy

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4512 on: November 08, 2020, 03:10:09 AM »
Q: Why can't Trump continue to live in the White House?

Spoiler: ShowHide
A: Because it's for Biden! :grin:

That was good. Did you think of it yourself?
"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

Magdalena

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4513 on: November 08, 2020, 05:51:39 AM »
Q: Why can't Trump continue to live in the White House?

Spoiler: ShowHide
A: Because it's for Biden! :grin:

Ha!
 :rimshot:

“I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe.” ~Recusant

xSilverPhinx

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Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4514 on: November 29, 2020, 12:36:37 PM »
Q: Why can't Trump continue to live in the White House?

Spoiler: ShowHide
A: Because it's for Biden! :grin:

That was good. Did you think of it yourself?

No, my sense of humour isn't that elaborate! :lol:
I lose myself infused in something more than what they've seen
I'm not a slave to greed
I don't embrace your make believe
I've never been for sale no matter what they think I need