Psychological Puzzle

[Miss Anthrope]

Hi everyone, I haven't been here in a while, at least not as an active member, so I feel a little weird about asking for advice but this was the first place that came to mind lol

The person's first post, one of only two, (paraphrasing): Congratulations if I've added you as my friend,

Claims to be a professional at multiple trades [legal, writing (apparently)] but has terrible writing skills

In her reply, she angrily stated "YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE IN THE UNIVERSE WITH THAT NAME" - the use of the word "universe" seemed odd; this was actually what caused me to think "narcissist"...to use that word instead of the more typical "world" sort of struck me as though she
thinks in very grandiose terms, which seems to be in line with a very narcisstic mind

She was apparently very nasty without any cause, and I believe she started a second reply out with "Boohoo", which indicates that my cousin must have expressed her upset. Seems like a lack of empathy.

Also, I started thinking about the fact that there isn't a picture, which could mean that the woman is ashamed of her looks. My cousin is an incredibly beautiful girl, and her expression in her profile pic is a very confident look which could also be seen as judgemental or proud, similar to a look a girl might give another girl who wants the guy she's with but knows that she can't have him. So I thought about it throught his woman's eyes, and thought that seeing a beautiful girl with such an expression could have been a jealousy trigger for a narcissist who doesn't like her own looks. If her meanness was motivated by envy, that would be another trait of a narcissist.

I know this isn't a lot of info, and like I said, it isn't a dilemma, my cousin's not in crisis or anything, but I just get a little obsessed about behavior that seems unwarranted, and when there is very little for me to go on as far as understanding the person's psyche my mind goes into puzzle mode.

So, any thoughts? Does it seem like narcissistic disorder? I'd like to also add that the woman's lack of pictures and few wall posts and friends are not in line with typical narcissism, which is why I didn't notice it until i saw some of the little clues. I'm thinking she might be an antisocial subtype.

EDIT: Uh, those laughing emoticons are just there because the woman followed her words with l-o-l....forgot how emtoicons work here

[hismikeness]

It could come across as narcissistic, I guess. Especially because the FB user who received the request could have just ignored the invite and gone about living.

I had someone contact me who had the same first and last name. They were from the east coast. Mike, my first name, obviously highly common (only Mohammed is more popular world wide. I submit that the world would be a better place if there were more Mike's and less Mohammed's...) but my last name is uncommon. I googled my name and found there are several out there, none of which seemed to be the one who friended me. There's a city administrator, a physics professor, and a bassist in a band all with my name... or I with theirs I guess.

[Whitney]

Were the privacy settings set on high? (not that you could really know but if you can only see a little bit they probably are).  If so you may just be happening to get only pieces of information that lead on a narcissist conclusion but if you could see all the posts you'd know she was in a bad mood or gets requests all the time like that and hit her last straw.

I don't like people I don't know at all contacting me on my personal fb...though I do agree it is odd to even bother responding let alone being rude about it.

[McQ]

Always good to hear from you, and yes, I've missed your posts and presence! Just thinking about you today, in fact.

There is very little to go on but I would tend to agree with your assessment of possible narcissism. Could be many things, but the overly rude response, the knee jerk reaction to a friendly message, and the addition of superlatives and insults scream lack of empathy and narcissism. The woman could simply have ignored your cousin's message. There was no real need to respond with hostility at all. If she wanted privacy, she could ignore messages. Simple. So I think it's more than someone having a bad day or just being in a foul mood.

That's all I've got though. Can't really provide any better analysis than you've already done.

Don't be a stranger! We miss you!

[Miss Anthrope]

Hey guys, thanks for indulging me! I don't know why I get so fixated on little things like this. It was driving me crazy, I kind of want to meet this woman, study her, if you will, haha.

@ hismikeness:

Yeah, right? Why bother responding? I don't believe it was a friend request, though, just a message as far as I know.

The other Mikes you found seem to be putting your name to good use, nice range of careers there.  

Yeah, there isn't much to go on, I've provided all I know that seemed relevant. I think it was the lack of information that was a factor in my fixation, usually I can get a good a read on someone from their profile, but this person was a mystery...and she upset my cousin, so I wanted to know my enemy, haha! But as you say, the few clues as to her personality did seem to scream narcissism, and I agree that it does seem to be more than someone just being in a bad mood.

So, mystery solved? I think? Conclusion: Antisocial narcissistic subtype.


I will definitly not be a stranger! Thanks guys!

[Kylyssa]

I think it's a little creepy to read about people analyzing a person and making judgments about a her based on a Facebook profile and a couple of replies to unsolicited contact.  A model-perfect profile photo combined with a fake looking name makes cousin look like a bot.  Have you ever noticed that scammers and spammers never have average-looking profile photos?

[Miss Anthrope]

I think it's a little creepy to read about people analyzing a person and making judgments about a her based on a Facebook profile and a couple of replies to unsolicited contact.  A model-perfect profile photo combined with a fake looking name makes cousin look like a bot.  Have you ever noticed that scammers and spammers never have average-looking profile photos?

Kylyssa, me creepy? Come on! You know me! I can kind of understand what you mean, though, so I have to point out I dont usually overanalyze people, particularly ones I don't actually know. I was just really curious about this person, mostly because of the way she reacted. From what I've gathered, it was very hostile without cause. My cousin's profile pic isn't model-perfect, it's a very natural pic and not at all like those typical pics that accompany spam, and so I'm sure she wasn't believed to be a bot, that wouldn't fit with the fact that this woman corresponed with her anyway.

And OK, the way my mind works CAN be a little creepy sometimes, but in a fun way  

EDIT: And it's true that it was unsolicited contact, but to reply so nastily seemed very unwarranted, so it's a bit hard NOT to make a judgement.

[SSY]

I dislike it when I meet people with my first name (never met someone with my last name), no rational basis at all, I suppose I might feel somehow infringed upon or lessened in some way.

[Miss Anthrope]

I dislike it when I meet people with my first name (never met someone with my last name), no rational basis at all, I suppose I might feel somehow infringed upon or lessened in some way.

At first I thought that sounded kind of odd, but actually now that I think about it I tend to not have any interest in being friends with people who have my first name. For instance, I've had two friends who also had friends with my name, and I always kind of distanced myself from them. So I guess like you say, it's sort of like a feeling of being lessened.

I've never met anyone with my last name either.

[hismikeness]

I was hanging out with a couple friends last night one with the same name as me and one that didn't. I told my one friend that he was the luckiest dude ever, because he was hanging out with two Mikes at the same time.  

[Guardian85]

I don't like to make assumptions with little information, but if I may venture an opinion here....

The person in question does not sound like a true narcissist to me. A true Narcissist wants to show you how perfect he/she is and therefore wants to post pictures and show off how awesome he/she is.

This sounds to me like a person who lacks confidence to assert him/herself in real life, and therefore lashes out at people as a form of "revenge on the cruel world" from behind the shield of anonymity that is a computer screen.  :hide:

Option B of course is that the person is a raving whacko.  

[fester30]

In spirit of reason, I think the best thing we can say is we just don't know.  We can offer hypotheses, but we have no way to test them.  The best conclusion here with such limited information is that the person (whether male, female, trans-gender, young, old, famous, not famous) decided in this instance to be a bitch.  Could be a very nice person 99% of the time.  Could be, like the previous post said, crazy.  Could just be someone out for entertainment.  Pick a rare name, create a fake profile, and when someone messages you saying "We have the same name!" cuss them out.  Since there are men who get into chat rooms pretending to be women to try to hit on lesbians (who happen to also be men pretending to be women... so are they really lesbians, male homosexuals, or heterosexuals who are naive and misguided?), we rarely know who is behind these things or what their story is.

[Guardian85]

Since there are men who get into chat rooms pretending to be women to try to hit on lesbians (who happen to also be men pretending to be women... so are they really lesbians, male homosexuals, or heterosexuals who are naive and misguided?), we rarely know who is behind these things or what their story is.

And do we really want to know?