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How to tell your family you are an atheist.

existentialcrisis

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Re: How to tell your family you are an atheist.
« Reply #75 on: December 13, 2016, 03:38:40 PM »
How about this:

"Ok people, gather around. I am now an atheist, I don't believe in your gods or goblins anymore until you show me evidence. I am still the same person, compassionate and caring, but I am tired of everyone superstitious nonsense. If you want to do any good for society you will join me in seeking evidence before superstition and encourage scientific discovery and progress. End of topic, have a nice day."

Walk away like a boss.
Not likely to work.

You are right, not likely to work.

Here is why I think it will work. You show confidence yet open to door by offering to work together to find solutions. It's like dealing with children:they will see you are successful and upbeat without the need for superstition in your life. This happened to me, others came to me secretly and said help me, I wish I could lose that superstition too!!! I recommend to them to read Richard Dawkin's book called the God Delusion.

Now most are so brainwashed they may fight back. If they try to re-open it, shut it closed. None of their business what you believe. If they persist hit them with the absurdity of their beliefs (40 days of rain to flood the earth, God needs the devil and uses him as a scapegoat so he can put you in hell, evolution is a fact, etc...).

Then for a second time walk away like a boss.

Rinse and repeat.

So what if the family kick the person out on the street and take away their college fund, shun them and attempt t destroy their lives? This thread regards people in that situation. Please bear this in mind when making suggestions about how to deal with real family situations. One can escalate more easily than retract. Once an interlocutor is considered 'enemy' they are in a difficult situation. The end game may be 'fuck you I'm an atheist' but that isn't a good place to start a negotiation.

I agree with you, clearly one has to know their situation to determine how true they can be to themselves. I suggest using common sense in this matter. It is a very sensitive topic for some people who need to use God as a coping mechanism. If you live in a situation where your existence is in danger for not believing the same ideas as your providers, then lay low. If you can afford to tell them you don't believe, then you can do it! Or do like most people and say nothing at all! It's no one's business. If people force you to go to church and they ask you do you believe in an invisible cosmic puppet master...just really "sure..what ever". Determine your level of confrontation.

At the time I could afford to point out the inconsistencies in religion to my providers, so my situation is lucky. I started by saying..."if the end result is eternity in hell, don't you think it would be fair for the creator to provide more compelling evidence before hand?" The door opened from there to argue with my cousins about the nonsense of their ancient beliefs. We still bicker today at the dinner table....lol. You will NEVER change their minds. Don't waste your time.

But take care of your well-being first. I hope one day in the future, by 2020, facts will triumph over superstition. But humans run by emotion more than logic.

I suggest anyone get atheist support: read Richard Dawkins, watch youtube videos, this forum is amazing place to start.

In the end do what ever makes you happy.
There are no facts, only interpretations. - Friedrich Nietzche

The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason. - Benjamin Franklin.

Re: How to tell your family you are an atheist.
« Reply #76 on: March 10, 2019, 09:31:15 AM »
I see this thread was bumped a couple of times so hopefully I won't get in trouble for necro posting.

My advise, test the waters.

My wife knew I wasn't a Christian when we got married but, I was still "searching". She was of the type that "everybody knows that god is real in their hearts...yada yada yada…"

So I brought up atheism in the news, and current events, etc...

Just talking generally about what she thought about it, when the reaction I got was meh... I felt I could come out fully.

Although the kids still HAD to go to catholic school.  :(

All I asked is that they not be taught that they'll burn in hell if they don't believe, without that threat they could see the bullshit writing on the wall without me needing to really say anything.
"If we are to be damned, let's be damned for what we really are." - Captain Picard

Tank

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Re: How to tell your family you are an atheist.
« Reply #77 on: March 10, 2019, 10:39:44 AM »
I see this thread was bumped a couple of times so hopefully I won't get in trouble for necro posting.

My advise, test the waters.

My wife knew I wasn't a Christian when we got married but, I was still "searching". She was of the type that "everybody knows that god is real in their hearts...yada yada yada…"

So I brought up atheism in the news, and current events, etc...

Just talking generally about what she thought about it, when the reaction I got was meh... I felt I could come out fully.

Although the kids still HAD to go to catholic school.  :(

All I asked is that they not be taught that they'll burn in hell if they don't believe, without that threat they could see the bullshit writing on the wall without me needing to really say anything.

Very sound advice.
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
“Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt.” ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Essie Mae

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Re: How to tell your family you are an atheist.
« Reply #78 on: April 01, 2020, 03:24:17 PM »
It hasn’t gone well for me; I’ve had to remove every atheist person and reference from my emails and FB because it was causing so much trouble even though the people who matter are only nominally Christian.

On the other hand, in seven years I’ve never told my son and d-i-l or my daughter because I fear i would no longer be considered to be a suitable influence on the grandchildren. I just never bring up the Q of religion and I guess they just assume things are the way they always were.
« Last Edit: April 01, 2020, 03:45:08 PM by Tank »
Hell is empty and all the devils are here. Wm Shakespeare


Recusant

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Re: How to tell your family you are an atheist.
« Reply #79 on: April 01, 2020, 03:39:30 PM »
Glad to see you here again, Essie Mae:welcomeback:
"Religion is fundamentally opposed to everything I hold in veneration — courage, clear thinking, honesty, fairness, and above all, love of the truth."
— H. L. Mencken


Tank

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Re: How to tell your family you are an atheist.
« Reply #80 on: April 01, 2020, 03:45:55 PM »
It hasn’t gone well for me; I’ve had to remove every atheist person and reference from my emails and FB because it was causing so much trouble even though the people who matter are only nominally Christian.

On the other hand, in seven years I’ve never told my son and d-i-l or my daughter because I fear i would no longer be considered to be a suitable influence on the grandchildren. I just never bring up the Q of religion and I guess they just assume things are the way they always were.

Obviously you'll just have to make do with coming here  ;D
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
“Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt.” ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

xSilverPhinx

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Re: How to tell your family you are an atheist.
« Reply #81 on: April 01, 2020, 03:50:19 PM »
It hasn’t gone well for me; I’ve had to remove every atheist person and reference from my emails and FB because it was causing so much trouble even though the people who matter are only nominally Christian.

On the other hand, in seven years I’ve never told my son and d-i-l or my daughter because I fear i would no longer be considered to be a suitable influence on the grandchildren. I just never bring up the Q of religion and I guess they just assume things are the way they always were.

 :welcomeback:
I lose myself infused in something more than what they've seen
I'm not a slave to greed
I don't embrace your make believe
I've never been for sale no matter what they think I need



No one

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Re: How to tell your family you are an atheist.
« Reply #82 on: April 01, 2020, 07:15:59 PM »
It's not my problem if they have an issue with who I am!

Magdalena

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Re: How to tell your family you are an atheist.
« Reply #83 on: April 01, 2020, 07:27:39 PM »
... I guess they just assume things are the way they always were.
Then let's keep it that way, yes?  :shrug:

Good to "see" you here again, Essie Mae.

“I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe.” ~Recusant

Magdalena

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Re: How to tell your family you are an atheist.
« Reply #84 on: April 01, 2020, 08:22:37 PM »
It's not my problem if they have an issue with who I am!
That's right. You tell them, "I'm no one, deal with that!"

Oh, wait...

“I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe.” ~Recusant

xSilverPhinx

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Re: How to tell your family you are an atheist.
« Reply #85 on: April 02, 2020, 12:22:36 AM »
It's not my problem if they have an issue with who I am!

I agree! I guess most if not all people have bad habits they would do well to change but when others expect you to change who you are to fit their ideal version of 'you' it's a real deal-breaker. Kick 'em out, I say! :grin:

* Being an atheist is not a bad habit, no matter what some might say.
I lose myself infused in something more than what they've seen
I'm not a slave to greed
I don't embrace your make believe
I've never been for sale no matter what they think I need



Sandra Craft

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Re: How to tell your family you are an atheist.
« Reply #86 on: April 02, 2020, 02:25:39 AM »
It hasn’t gone well for me; I’ve had to remove every atheist person and reference from my emails and FB because it was causing so much trouble even though the people who matter are only nominally Christian.

On the other hand, in seven years I’ve never told my son and d-i-l or my daughter because I fear i would no longer be considered to be a suitable influence on the grandchildren. I just never bring up the Q of religion and I guess they just assume things are the way they always were.

I'm sorry about that, but I'm glad to see you back here.
Sandy

  

"Life is short, and it is up to you to make it sweet."  Sarah Louise Delany

Essie Mae

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Re: How to tell your family you are an atheist.
« Reply #87 on: April 17, 2020, 04:54:04 PM »
... I guess they just assume things are the way they always were.
Then let's keep it that way, yes?  :shrug:

Good to "see" you here again, Essie Mae.
Thks. ‘taint easy, but been missing HAF a lot
Hell is empty and all the devils are here. Wm Shakespeare


Essie Mae

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Re: How to tell your family you are an atheist.
« Reply #88 on: April 17, 2020, 04:55:57 PM »
It hasn’t gone well for me; I’ve had to remove every atheist person and reference from my emails and FB because it was causing so much trouble even though the people who matter are only nominally Christian.

On the other hand, in seven years I’ve never told my son and d-i-l or my daughter because I fear i would no longer be considered to be a suitable influence on the grandchildren. I just never bring up the Q of religion and I guess they just assume things are the way they always were.

 :welcomeback:

Thks😀
Hell is empty and all the devils are here. Wm Shakespeare


Icarus

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Re: How to tell your family you are an atheist.
« Reply #89 on: April 18, 2020, 03:16:26 AM »
We have missed you for a while Essie Mae.  A long time ago you honored me by participating in one of my Math games.  At the time I said that you are my hero.  You still are......but not at all because of the little math game.

It is understood that you are obligated to comply, or pretend to comply, with the beliefs of others, including family. 

Hang in there dear lady, In the end you may very well be the fairest of them all.