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Re: Reasons To Be Grumpy thread

billy rubin

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Re: Reasons To Be Grumpy thread
« Reply #3735 on: March 31, 2020, 12:18:55 PM »
i was a middle manager in a siliconvalley tech writing company in the 90s. ran away with my best employee, got divorced, andmarried her. she had to get divorced too. the scandal was intense

when she wakes up ill ask whatshewantz for breakfast


Into the distance a ribbon of black
Stretched to the point of no turning back
A flight of fancy on a windswept field
Standing alone my senses reeled
A fatal attraction is holding me fast how
How can I escape this irresistible grasp?

xSilverPhinx

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Re: Re: Reasons To Be Grumpy thread
« Reply #3736 on: March 31, 2020, 11:24:17 PM »
I was typing while sitting next to my niece at the table and she turns her head in my direction and sneezed. Right. On. Me.

I was already a bit of a germophobe before this whole coronavirus thing happened, so this shot my anxiety through the roof. I stopped what I was doing and took a long shower, leaving shampoo on my hair for around 15 min and washing my face and neck with soap (which I usually don't do because the soap removes protective oils from my face and causing countless zits to appear the next day ::) ). I did this ritual 4 times.

Then I disinfected my whole computer with isopropyl alcohol and washed my hands again.

Afterwards I threw alcohol on the clothes I was wearing and set fire to them on the balcony.

(I'm exaggerating of course, I didn't actually burn my clothes. :deadpan:)

All this while trying to not make my niece feel too bad, but at the same time letting her know that it's really not cool to sneeze on people so she needs to cover her mouth and nose when she does. She's 10 so she should be old enough to understand this. I'm going to try finding one of those slow motion videos of someone sneezing so she can see what happens...
I lose myself infused in something more than what they've seen
I'm not a slave to greed
I don't embrace your make believe
I've never been for sale no matter what they think I need



Tank

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Re: Reasons To Be Grumpy thread
« Reply #3737 on: April 01, 2020, 08:41:03 AM »
I think you showed immense restraint by not burning her, along with your clothes, on the balcony!
« Last Edit: April 01, 2020, 08:58:11 AM by Tank »
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
“Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt.” ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

xSilverPhinx

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Re: Reasons To Be Grumpy thread
« Reply #3738 on: April 01, 2020, 02:55:04 PM »
I think you showed immense restraint by not burning her, along with your clothes, on the balcony!

 :snicker:

Yeah, but can I say? I couldn't burn her along with my clothes because I like the kid. :grin:

About a year back she became fascinated with jokes and joke-telling so she asked everyone to buy her joke books. She got quite a few for her birthday and spent countless hours reading them. She reread them. She studied them down to their finest details.

Then she had a go at telling jokes herself. 'Auntie!', she called me me one day. 'I wanna tell you a joke!'.

Ok, I thought. I like jokes myself, so I want to hear this.

'Knock, knock!', she started.

'Who's there?'

'YOUR MOM!' she yelled and started laughing hysterically at the joke she had crafted in her head.

:deadpan:

I mean, I think it's great that she was creative and put a knock, knock and your mom joke together but, it didn't quite...work. :lol:

I thought the whole thing was very endearing anyway. I felt very proud of her too! She had surpassed her auntie at bad joke-telling. That kid has potential. :tellmemore:
I lose myself infused in something more than what they've seen
I'm not a slave to greed
I don't embrace your make believe
I've never been for sale no matter what they think I need



xSilverPhinx

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Re: Re: Reasons To Be Grumpy thread
« Reply #3739 on: April 01, 2020, 03:01:05 PM »
Now she's into horror stories. Yesterday she told me three. Now that she has plenty of free time I'm going to suggest she write these stories down so she can organise her thoughts while telling them.
I lose myself infused in something more than what they've seen
I'm not a slave to greed
I don't embrace your make believe
I've never been for sale no matter what they think I need



billy rubin

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Re: Reasons To Be Grumpy thread
« Reply #3740 on: April 01, 2020, 03:46:49 PM »
woo, your old, silver.

tht little girl had a much more sophisticated couplet in mind.

the whole joke goes like this:

why did the cow cross the road?

i don't know.

to get to your house . . . knock knock

whoe's ther

YOUR MOM . . .


i know this because my own chioldren have rtrapped me with it, even in the presence of their mother


Into the distance a ribbon of black
Stretched to the point of no turning back
A flight of fancy on a windswept field
Standing alone my senses reeled
A fatal attraction is holding me fast how
How can I escape this irresistible grasp?

xSilverPhinx

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Re: Reasons To Be Grumpy thread
« Reply #3741 on: April 01, 2020, 03:53:52 PM »
woo, your old, silver.

tht little girl had a much more sophisticated couplet in mind.

the whole joke goes like this:

why did the cow cross the road?

i don't know.

to get to your house . . . knock knock

whoe's ther

YOUR MOM . . .


i know this because my own chioldren have rtrapped me with it, even in the presence of their mother

:lol: Kids these days.
I lose myself infused in something more than what they've seen
I'm not a slave to greed
I don't embrace your make believe
I've never been for sale no matter what they think I need



Magdalena

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Re: Reasons To Be Grumpy thread
« Reply #3742 on: April 01, 2020, 07:22:52 PM »
woo, your old, silver.

tht little girl had a much more sophisticated couplet in mind.

the whole joke goes like this:

why did the cow cross the road?

i don't know.

to get to your house . . . knock knock

whoe's ther

YOUR MOM . . .


i know this because my own chioldren have rtrapped me with it, even in the presence of their mother

:lol: Kids these days.

I remember those jokes.  :lol:
I used to do this:
Kid: "Knock, knock..."
Me: "Who the hell is there and what the hell do you want? What ever it is you're selling, I don't want it, get the hell away from my door."
My kids thought it was the most hillarious thing in the world.  ;D

“I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe.” ~Recusant

billy rubin

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Re: Reasons To Be Grumpy thread
« Reply #3743 on: April 01, 2020, 10:27:53 PM »
my favorite went like this

i have a knock knock joke, its great, you start

okay, knock knock . . .

who s there?



Into the distance a ribbon of black
Stretched to the point of no turning back
A flight of fancy on a windswept field
Standing alone my senses reeled
A fatal attraction is holding me fast how
How can I escape this irresistible grasp?

xSilverPhinx

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Re: Reasons To Be Grumpy thread
« Reply #3744 on: April 02, 2020, 12:17:49 AM »
woo, your old, silver.

tht little girl had a much more sophisticated couplet in mind.

the whole joke goes like this:

why did the cow cross the road?

i don't know.

to get to your house . . . knock knock

whoe's ther

YOUR MOM . . .


i know this because my own chioldren have rtrapped me with it, even in the presence of their mother

:lol: Kids these days.

I remember those jokes.  :lol:
I used to do this:
Kid: "Knock, knock..."
Me: "Who the hell is there and what the hell do you want? What ever it is you're selling, I don't want it, get the hell away from my door."
My kids thought it was the most hillarious thing in the world.  ;D

Heh, that's a good one! :grin:
I lose myself infused in something more than what they've seen
I'm not a slave to greed
I don't embrace your make believe
I've never been for sale no matter what they think I need



xSilverPhinx

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Re: Reasons To Be Grumpy thread
« Reply #3745 on: April 02, 2020, 12:18:32 AM »
my favorite went like this

i have a knock knock joke, its great, you start

okay, knock knock . . .

who s there?

Sounds like a good joke for No one to tell.  ;D :P
I lose myself infused in something more than what they've seen
I'm not a slave to greed
I don't embrace your make believe
I've never been for sale no matter what they think I need



Magdalena

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Re: Reasons To Be Grumpy thread
« Reply #3746 on: April 02, 2020, 01:52:34 AM »
my favorite went like this

i have a knock knock joke, its great, you start

okay, knock knock . . .

who s there?

Sounds like a good joke for No one to tell.  ;D :P
Ha!

“I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe.” ~Recusant

OldGit

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Re: Reasons To Be Grumpy thread
« Reply #3747 on: April 05, 2020, 10:51:07 AM »
Our handy little store just up the road has closed.  Now I have to go a mile, though in fact we're doing okay on deliveries from the supermarkets and off the net.

My daughter the doctor says that at my age and with some serious other conditions already, if I catch this bloody cocovirus on top I'm as good as dead.  Cheerful, eh?

Tank

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Re: Reasons To Be Grumpy thread
« Reply #3748 on: April 05, 2020, 12:35:35 PM »
Our handy little store just up the road has closed.  Now I have to go a mile, though in fact we're doing okay on deliveries from the supermarkets and off the net.

My daughter the doctor says that at my age and with some serious other conditions already, if I catch this bloody cocovirus on top I'm as good as dead.  Cheerful, eh?

We just lost an 85yo friend of the family. He would have been a great grandfather in September. Stay safe OldGit, or you won't get to see Brexit  :heyhey:
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
“Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt.” ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

xSilverPhinx

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Re: Reasons To Be Grumpy thread
« Reply #3749 on: April 05, 2020, 01:16:35 PM »
Our handy little store just up the road has closed.  Now I have to go a mile, though in fact we're doing okay on deliveries from the supermarkets and off the net.

My daughter the doctor says that at my age and with some serious other conditions already, if I catch this bloody cocovirus on top I'm as good as dead.  Cheerful, eh?

Stay safe, OG! I'm optimistic that with time we will develop vaccines, effective antiviral medication and other healthcare strategies to combat this virus should people get infected, even people in the high-risk group.

And, if it's anything like some influenza strains, with time the new coronavirus could become less lethal as well.
I lose myself infused in something more than what they've seen
I'm not a slave to greed
I don't embrace your make believe
I've never been for sale no matter what they think I need