Happy Atheist Forum

I am married to a Christian. She suggested that maybe we try going to church Sunday now that the Christmas season is here. At first it seemed like a good idea. But the more I think about it, the more anxious I feel.

       We used to attend a church together, and I'm thinking that maybe attending this church would be the least of all evils because I'm familiar with it, but then again maybe not. There are people who I don't really want to see. I think if it weren't for those people (including a few of the pastors), I would like to go.

       Do you guys think it would be better for a non-theist to attend a church where people knew him or her as a believer or just attend a church that is not familiar at all? Has anyone been in this situation?

Honestly, if I were going to do someone a favor by going, I'd pick one where no one knew me. Omg, I can only imagine seeing people at my old one, having them think that I was coming around, and start pestering me again. Yuck.

I second going to a different church. If you're going to go sing to Zeus or whatever, do it around people who aren't going to dump on you for leaving the cult. Or worse... try to suck you back in.

Now might be a good time to discuss your (non)beliefs with the spouse.

After all, 'tis the season.  

Personally, the only church I would go to is one where almost nobody knows me, and certainly one where nobody knows I'm atheist. If they don't know you, then you can simply be invisible.

I'm sort of curious to why you thought it was a good idea? To please your wife? It seems like it would just be a frusturating experiance to me. (Not attacking you or anything, really just curious.)

Sorry dude - the last time I was in a church it was 'cause someone related to me got married in one.  I pretty much stood around looking bemused.

I wouldn't go... not because I don't respect my partner, but because I just can't abide by the crap they spew during services.  I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut.  Just imagining the last time I went (for a funeral) and the bile that rose while they were reading the bible... wow, it makes me almost vomit just remembering it.

It's not that I'm intolerant... they can believe what they wish (as long as they don't force it on me).  But I don't have to listen to it.  They won't come think in my house, why should I got and not think in theirs?  

I just can't do it anymore.  Good job on you if you can.

QuoteNow might be a good time to discuss your (non)beliefs with the spouse.

We have definitely discussed our beliefs about God. We have decided that we can still be together as long as we respect one another. Otherwise our relationship is good. It’s hard at times when I really want to ridicule some religious idea. But, mostly, I hold my tongue for her sake. Sometimes I can’t help it. Like the other day she wanted to go to the Christian book store because they might have an advent calendar she wants. I couldn’t help to comment that if they had Jesus in the back could they sign me up for my own personal relationship. :)

LOL! Oh, how we mock them.

I guess my parents are also in your boat. My mom is a Jehovah's Witness and my dad would best be described as Agnostic. They just don't talk about it, which is really the only way to go when it comes to that situation. He's gone once or twice, and picked up a book to make her happy... but doesn't believe it. I remember the time he went to church with us, he leaned over and whispered, "You don't really believe all of this, do you?!" LOL! I wanted to say, "HELL NO!"

Quote from: "myleviathan"this new pathetic ‘relevance’ kick in the church, and it’s all about how cool Christians can be.

Oh god, they don't have a "rock" band, or a pastor that plays guitar, do they?  That stuff is hilarious.

What's sad is I used to be that guy. I wasn't a pastor, but I was the Contemporary Christian Guitar Player at my church. I played the lamest  guitar solos YOU HAVE EVER HEARD. I WAS THAT GUY!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I was battling my atheism while I was on the stage with my eyes closed, mouthing the words to the lamest songs YOU HAVE EVER IMAGINED. 'OH GOD LET US BE, A GENERATION THAT SEEKS, SEEKS YOUR FACE, OH GOD OF JACOB....'!!

Several times since I went rational I have had to go to church for one reason or another. Weddings Funerals Baptisms mostly I try to stay away, but if you can tolerate sitting in a church for a short period of time on a sunday and it will make your wife happy then go for it. As long as you come back here and tell us all about what happened.
If you can't stomach the idea and a lot of people can't including a lot of christians I know then tell your wife that as much as you love her you would rather not go.

I would only go to a church for no other reasons than for weddings or funerals.

Quote from: "myleviathan"What's sad is I used to be that guy. I wasn't a pastor, but I was the Contemporary Christian Guitar Player at my church. I played the lamest  guitar solos YOU HAVE EVER HEARD. I WAS THAT GUY!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I was battling my atheism while I was on the stage with my eyes closed, mouthing the words to the lamest songs YOU HAVE EVER IMAGINED. 'OH GOD LET US BE, A GENERATION THAT SEEKS, SEEKS YOUR FACE, OH GOD OF JACOB....'!!

 :lol:

The Sunday night "Teen Mass" at my former church had the most excruciatingly lame music.  They had guitars, drums, piano, and sometimes a flute.  Sheesh!  I was used to it because these types of masses have been around for years.  (Ironically, the Catholic Church is beginning to admit the changes brought about by the Second Vatican Council were destructive to the faith...)  Instead of singing ancient songs that are actually beautiful, we were singing lame songs that often require clapping.  I refused, and left early whenever possible.  I don't miss that at all.

Regarding the initial post, I think it's a tough decision.  Have you talked to your wife about the anxiety and your concerns?  My S.O. and I have a similar agreement to disagree, and I have a feeling that the topic is going to come up about going to church on Christmas day.  I'm not looking forward to it.

I hope it works out for the best.

QuoteRegarding the initial post, I think it's a tough decision. Have you talked to your wife about the anxiety and your concerns? My S.O. and I have a similar agreement to disagree, and I have a feeling that the topic is going to come up about going to church on Christmas day. I'm not looking forward to it.

We haven't talked about it alot because we haven't been to church in a long time. Fortunately for me she's a little anti-social. She gets anxious when people introduce themselves, and depends on me to be friendly, which is the other side of the coin. I would love to introduce myself as an atheist, but that's just not acceptable. Them's fightin' words in most churches.

I told a big, fat, pentecostal lady at my work the other day that I'm an atheist. She's like, sucking down chicken wings with one hand and typing on the computer with the other and she was looking at some charity giving away free Thanksgiving turkeys (which she applied for). I asked if they would give an atheist a free turkey, and she exclaims "NO WAY." So I told her I was an atheist, and she said she felt sorry for me. She asked me why I'm an atheist, and I told her it's because Jesus never calls or writes anymore. She started to get visibly upset, like angry upset. Then she started calling me "Mr. Atheist" instead of my name.

Can you believe that shit?

Quote from: "donkeyhoty"

Quote from: "myleviathan"this new pathetic ‘relevance’ kick in the church, and it’s all about how cool Christians can be.

Oh god, they don't have a "rock" band, or a pastor that plays guitar, do they?  That stuff is hilarious.

The church I used to go to had the worst Christian rock band I have ever seen.  They were all teenagers with one real dorky guy for a conducter/singer.  It was absolutely painful to sit through and probably played a major role in my turning atheism (not really, but seriously, it's enough to convince anybody that there is no god).

I've lived through several "rock" bands... the worst bit was having their songs go on repeating until they got tired, like there were some sort of spiritual brownie points for the length of the song? Or was the worst bit the way they tried to rock-ify 17th century hymn tunes? Ick.

I think I would only go if knew I would be confronted. I would relish the chance to shit-kick a religionist's infantile rambling's in a church--if I was in the mood, that is.   :badgrin:

I find churches quite unsettling to be in. Even if I was Christian I probably would. We had this annual thing called 'Charter Day' at my school and we all had to go into Bristol cathedral from 9 in the morning until 5 in the afternoon to sing hymns and listen to priests read extracts from the Bible. Place is HUGE:

http://fourthirds-user.com/galleries/data/508/medium/Inside_Bristol_Cathedral_resize.jpg

And if you so much as cough once it echoes throughout the whole thing and everyone turns and looks disapproving. Awful experience. You wouldn't want to confront anyone in there, believe me. You wouldn't want to utter a single sentence, or even shift your seating position lest your chair creak and you gain an angry audience of two and a half thousand frowning faces.

Quote from: "rlrose328"I wouldn't go... not because I don't respect my partner, but because I just can't abide by the crap they spew during services.  I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut.  Just imagining the last time I went (for a funeral) and the bile that rose while they were reading the bible... wow, it makes me almost vomit just remembering it.

It's not that I'm intolerant... they can believe what they wish (as long as they don't force it on me).  But I don't have to listen to it.  They won't come think in my house, why should I got and not think in theirs?  

I just can't do it anymore.  Good job on you if you can.

We DO NOT attend church for anyone for any reason any more any any. This became an issue again as we were at the In-Laws' house for Xmas (weekend before) and my sweet mother in law was scheduled to play the piano. They went, the brother in law went, and her aunt went. Later that evening we nearly got thrown out of the house. My father in law, whom I adore and have always respected, threw around phrases like..."come into my house and disrespect me..."

My wife has said she will never go to their house on a Sunday or for Xmas again.

The irony is that chruch is so very important to them unless the Chiefs are playing at home, or they are travelling, or have something better to do...

Quote from: "myleviathan"I am married to a Christian.

Maybe it's a sign....?

Quote from: "myleviathan"She suggested that maybe we try going to church Sunday now that the Christmas season is here. At first it seemed like a good idea. But the more I think about it, the more anxious I feel.

Does she go to church besides the holidays? Seems like she isn't a strong Christian if she only goes when it's seasonal. Church isn't a place to feel anxious, only love Jesus who gets his Juice all over your face so you will be saved. That's right. get on your knees and start pleasing him.

Quote from: "myleviathan"We used to attend a church together, and I'm thinking that maybe attending this church would be the least of all evils because I'm familiar with it, but then again maybe not. There are people who I don't really want to see. I think if it weren't for those people (including a few of the pastors), I would like to go.

Maybe you should get a switch and flog yourself until you reach enlightment from Jesus, you sinner.

Quote from: "myleviathan"Do you guys think it would be better for a non-theist to attend a church where people knew him or her as a believer or just attend a church that is not familiar at all? Has anyone been in this situation?

An unsaved person in a church has two options: Get with Jesus or GET THE FUCK OUT.

Basically if you haven't invited Jesus into your heart and you don't plan to then you aren't invited in his house. You know what you call someone who goes into someone's house uninvited? They call them burglars! That's right, by using my degree in Creation Science, I can deduce that you are a thief, a child molester or maybe a smoker. Don't worry, God will smoke you because he loves you that much.

Quote from: "Mister Joy"I find churches quite unsettling to be in. Even if I was Christian I probably would. We had this annual thing called 'Charter Day' at my school and we all had to go into Bristol cathedral from 9 in the morning until 5 in the afternoon to sing hymns and listen to priests read extracts from the Bible. Place is HUGE:

http://fourthirds-user.com/galleries/data/508/medium/Inside_Bristol_Cathedral_resize.jpg

And if you so much as cough once it echoes throughout the whole thing and everyone turns and looks disapproving. Awful experience. You wouldn't want to confront anyone in there, believe me. You wouldn't want to utter a single sentence, or even shift your seating position lest your chair creak and you gain an angry audience of two and a half thousand frowning faces.

Fuck 'em!  :vamp:

Legion, please post an introduction about yourself and why you are here before you start posting other messages. It is unclear what points you are trying to make. Thank you.

Quote from: "McQ"Legion, please post an introduction about yourself and why you are here before you start posting other messages. It is unclear what points you are trying to make. Thank you.

The point I'm trying to make is that you won't flatter Jesus you will burn in all eternity because that's what a loving God does to people. You sir are going to fry if you don't go to church and pray to Jesus!

Quote from: "Legion"The point I'm trying to make is that you won't flatter Jesus you will burn in all eternity because that's what a loving God does to people. You sir are going to fry if you don't go to church and pray to Jesus!

So, a 'loving' god will burn people who don't flatter Jesus - if you believe that you must be even more stupid than I first thought you were.  In another post I referred to you as a 'moron' - my apologies for insulting morons!

Quote from: "tomday"

Quote from: "Legion"The point I'm trying to make is that you won't flatter Jesus you will burn in all eternity because that's what a loving God does to people. You sir are going to fry if you don't go to church and pray to Jesus!

So, a 'loving' god will burn people who don't flatter Jesus - if you believe that you must be even more stupid than I first thought you were.  In another post I referred to you as a 'moron' - my apologies for insulting morons!

Don't listen to that guy, he's just a dick! Seriously, he's such a dick he belongs in the Dickhole of the Dickiverse.