I was just sitting here thinking about all the ways i would be f***ed if christian morals and laws actually were the law of the land (in other words, VERY bored!). And from that came this topic:
What blasphemous acts have you performed today?
I'll start this confession off by saying that it is Sunday, and I'm writing this while at work. Luckily no christian mobs with large stones nearby...
Anyone else?
Well, it's Sunday and I'm not at church, and I haven't been persecuting gays or the poor* yet today, so....
*Okay, I admit that the Bible speaks out in favor of helping the poor. But most of the Christians that I know are conservatives, and if there's one thing conservatives can't stand, it's the poor. Even when they themselves are poor. ???
I gave a hobo $2 yesterday because I felt like it. Not out of guilt or anything "oh if I give, god will reward me " b.s.
Today I am going to sell used dvds for $$ and buy more foundation because I ran out. I only dislike Sundays because too many shops are closed or close crazy early. Bleeeh :(
The day is young and ripe for sinning!
However, all I've managed to do so far is not go to church and take the Lord's name in vain. I have an interview later today though, so I guess that counts as work?
Well, like everyone else, it's Sunday and I'm not in church and while I'm not working I'm definitely not resting (laundry has to be done sometime).
Just like some people's Jesus Christ I am without sin.
Not having a god, I am simply incapable of it.
I do not rule over my wife, I consider her my equal.
When I see an effeminate male I do not think about what he might get up to in the bedroom, I certainly do not try to save him by telling him the errors of his bedroom ways.
Sometimes I will watch a movie just because it has Jessica Alba or Megan Fox in it. I even tell my wife how hot these girls are.
I tend to use technology daily, be it my car, a public bus, my television or a computer.
On my computer I will log into an Atheist website and try to come up with imaginative ways to tell people how silly god belief is.
I am pretty sure I break several of the Christian commandments every day. I do this without a thought, no guilt, not regret.
I wear clothes that would not be considered conservative, I do not wear a hat and I do not grow a bushy beard.
I eat food without giving thanks, well maybe some thanks if it was my wife's turn to cook.
I love pork, and beef, I eat cloven hoofed animals with milk, some of the animals I eat were not Halal tortured in any way.
I like horror movies and also enjoy movies with wizardry and (gasp) magic.
On Monday I usually go to work, even though in England and America I know that it is still Sunday.
I kiss my wife in public, I am even compelled sometimes to hold her hand.
I often talk to women other than my wife, and sometimes find myself alone with another woman and no one else there making sure we don't get up to any mischief.
But sometimes, I must admit, when I have passed motion, I do take a look, just to see if it looks anything like Jesus.
You guys are boring. I regularly engage in bondage sexplay and watersports. :o
Quote from: Wessik on January 22, 2012, 06:57:09 PM
You guys are boring. I regularly engage in bondage sexplay and watersports. :o
Jesus was into watersports, not sure about bondage sexplay, but he did seem to have a very friendly relationship with Paul.
Quote from: Stevil on January 22, 2012, 07:12:27 PM
Quote from: Wessik on January 22, 2012, 06:57:09 PM
You guys are boring. I regularly engage in bondage sexplay and watersports. :o
Jesus was into watersports, not sure about bondage sexplay, but he did seem to have a very friendly relationship with Paul.
I thought he never met Paul?
Quote from: Tank on January 22, 2012, 07:13:53 PM
Quote from: Stevil on January 22, 2012, 07:12:27 PM
Quote from: Wessik on January 22, 2012, 06:57:09 PM
You guys are boring. I regularly engage in bondage sexplay and watersports. :o
Jesus was into watersports, not sure about bondage sexplay, but he did seem to have a very friendly relationship with Paul.
I thought he never met Paul?
Was it Peter? Who was that effeminate guy in the Last Supper painting?
Quote from: Stevil on January 22, 2012, 07:39:20 PM
Quote from: Tank on January 22, 2012, 07:13:53 PM
Quote from: Stevil on January 22, 2012, 07:12:27 PM
Quote from: Wessik on January 22, 2012, 06:57:09 PM
You guys are boring. I regularly engage in bondage sexplay and watersports. :o
Jesus was into watersports, not sure about bondage sexplay, but he did seem to have a very friendly relationship with Paul.
I thought he never met Paul?
Was it Peter? Who was that effeminate guy in the Last Supper painting?
I have no idea :D
Quote from: Tank on January 22, 2012, 07:40:10 PM
Quote from: Stevil on January 22, 2012, 07:39:20 PM
Quote from: Tank on January 22, 2012, 07:13:53 PM
Quote from: Stevil on January 22, 2012, 07:12:27 PM
Quote from: Wessik on January 22, 2012, 06:57:09 PM
You guys are boring. I regularly engage in bondage sexplay and watersports. :o
Jesus was into watersports, not sure about bondage sexplay, but he did seem to have a very friendly relationship with Paul.
I thought he never met Paul?
Was it Peter? Who was that effeminate guy in the Last Supper painting?
I have no idea :D
The "effeminate guy" is John, but might also be Mary Magdalene, depending on how romantic you like your bible stories.
Quote from: Wessik on January 22, 2012, 06:57:09 PM
You guys are boring. I regularly engage in bondage sexplay and watersports. :o
Dude, that's nothing. I have sex without the express intention of procreating with my husband! Every sperm is sacred and all that jazz, so we're both probably in big trouble. Also, I wear clothes of more than one kind of cloth.
Quote from: BooksCatsEtc on January 22, 2012, 07:44:31 PM
The "effeminate guy" is John, but might also be Mary Magdalene, depending on how romantic you like your bible stories.
Either/or could be romantic depending on which way Jesus swings. I don't think that his sexual endevours were documented, well at least not within the canonised gospels. There may have been a reason why they edited out his romantic exploits.
Quote from: Wessik on January 22, 2012, 06:57:09 PM
You guys are boring. I regularly engage in bondage sexplay and watersports. :o
:O
See this is why we need a HAF Dating Site.
Quote from: philosoraptor on January 22, 2012, 07:53:08 PM
Quote from: Wessik on January 22, 2012, 06:57:09 PM
You guys are boring. I regularly engage in bondage sexplay and watersports. :o
Dude, that's nothing. I have sex without the express intention of procreating with my husband! Every sperm is sacred and all that jazz, so we're both probably in big trouble. Also, I wear clothes of more than one kind of cloth.
Hahaha.
I can't even procreate if I wanted to. Oh snap. :)
The most pointless blasphemous act I will be committing today will be shaving.
Woke up in the morning. For every second The Asmo is awake, another kitten cries another tear.
Didn't thank any one at all for my breakfast - I bloody well bought it and made it myself, so thanks me...
...Something.
I had a rather provocative dream about Maria Spiropulu, or was it a fantasy? I can't remember she shows up in both so often. :o She was explaining String Theory to me using the tiny string bikini she was wearing as a model. ;D I'm not sure thats blasphemous but I did tell her she was smarter than god. :-*
By my reckoning, 12,811 days out of 20,805 days of my life - I could have been hung, stoned, lashed, scapegoated, mobbed, burned or excommunicated, depending on which religion, time and country I lived in. Yesterday, as I do every Sunday, I did not remember the Sabbath for the 2,028'th time.
I cursed thy parent for waking me up early this morning.
I ate shrimp at a restaurant during sabbath...that's like a double sin.
I tought my cousin how to use paypal, which according to the bible, it is forbidden for a woman to teach a man
I also wore synthetic clothing
i called out the devil's name a couple of times I got angry
I am also a woman which is a huge thing on its own
1. Cursed god name
2. Commited lust (watched Mexican donkey show)
3. Spent money without giving a crap about the poor (mainly bc I'm pretty poor myself)
4. Lied
5. Commited lust again while typing this (Saw a hot Asian girl walk by and just HAD to look
6. Got drunk (Well not yet, but I can tell it WILL be happening today or very soon
7. Commited lust a third time (Hot Asian walked by again. She may be lost.)
Quote from: Whitney on January 23, 2012, 05:12:37 PM
I ate shrimp at a restaurant during sabbath...that's like a double sin.
*laffin*
I "sin" through lust in my heart practically every day (hour, who am I kidding...)
Would "sin" for real if I could.
Quote from: Guardian85 on January 24, 2012, 02:56:50 PM
I "sin" through lust in my heart practically every day (hour, who am I kidding...)
Would "sin" for real if I could.
ditto, I work at a university and see far too many pretty young student girls every day. I commit 'adultery in my heart' (Matthew 5:28) ::) every day, but it seems wholly natural to me, and helps keep me happy!
I received $1.20 interest on my investments last year and I expect $1.35 this year.
I am unrepentant, I'm not sure if this is blasphemy but I know I will be going to hell for it.
Just realised that my entire uniform is blasphemous. ;D
There are at least five different fabric types in the sweater alone. And don't get me started on the pants and boots!
I'm happy to say that I blaspheme every second of every hour of every day, just by being a homosexual. It's really very fun to know that if there's a god, I'm pissing him/her/it off every day ;D
And I swear at least 20 times a day, sometimes with little to no sense or consistency, I just spew out a series of expletives for the hell of it because I'm mildly irritated that I spilled water on my shirt.
Quote from: ZombiePhysics on January 25, 2012, 07:38:20 AM
I'm happy to say that I blaspheme every second of every hour of every day, just by being a homosexual. It's really very fun to know that if there's a god, I'm pissing him/her/it off every day ;D
And I swear at least 20 times a day, sometimes with little to no sense or consistency, I just spew out a series of expletives for the hell of it because I'm mildly irritated that I spilled water on my shirt.
Good one!
Another Sunday. Hearing church bells in the distance.Sitting at work thinking about my weekend pay and overtime.
Breaking the sabbath, with a side of greed.
I curled up inside a bottle of red wine last night. That's probably a sin (your body is a temple and all that.)
Sex with not a thought of marriage. Twice. Also, rubbies.
I just ate two apple turnovers and have no intention of exercising it off. That takes care of both gluttony and sloth. I also spent the morning running around doing errands, so I have definitely not been resting.
Quote from: Ali on February 05, 2012, 03:45:11 PM
I curled up inside a bottle of red wine last night. That's probably a sin (your body is a temple and all that.)
It's probably OK if you didn't enjoy it.
People can't enjoy themselves on Earth.
Earthly fun dilutes the dream of heaven.
It's suffering now and fun and games later.
Makes marketing sense when you look at it.
I remember pointing out to a born-again all the wine drinking in the bible. They said it wasn't alcoholic wine. If they had coffee that probably would have been decaf. More reasonable people suggest old time folks had the choice to drink wine and have their liver give up at about forty five or die younger from a water born disease. I've tasted some rustic wine created by the father of a Yugoslav guy I knew. I can't imagine anyone would enjoy drinking it. The devotees of miserable gods should only drink awful wine.
Quote from: The Magic Pudding on February 06, 2012, 02:03:25 AM
The devotees of miserable gods should only drink awful wine.
This deserves a trip to the member quote thread. :D
Asmo doesn't drink wine, so his followers can have any wine they please - he doesn't want it for himself.
Quote from: Asmodean on February 06, 2012, 09:23:39 AM
Quote from: The Magic Pudding on February 06, 2012, 02:03:25 AM
The devotees of miserable gods should only drink awful wine.
This deserves a trip to the member quote thread. :D
Seconded!
More sexing not for the sake of procreation and using BC, as per usual. Also, I mixed meat and dairy at dinner and ate shellfish and bacon as well. Blasphemy tastes pretty damn good.
Quote from: Asmodean on February 05, 2012, 06:51:45 PM
Sex with not a thought of marriage. Twice. Also, rubbies.
^haha
Masturbated a lot this week. I'm not sure what's up with that. :D
I find it funny masturbating is suppose to be a sin. Whatever.
Y'Idunno!
I have been to uni, and being a woman, that's probably bad. I cover my hair out of vanity, not modesty, so that's fairly fucked up for religious peeps. I have a teddy bear whom I treat as an idealised metaphor for my mother, which is probably idolatry.
I don't keep track of what everyone else's made up rules are. My ideas tend to have reasoning and stuff, so I don't have to remember a list.
Impure thoughts.
Well the way i see it, if Jesus truly did die for our sins then if we don't sin he died for nothing ;)
But yeah i'm sure i read somewhere that Christians shouldn't really eat pork, so i guess bacon was created for Atheists and if there is a god then my breakfast was well worth going to hell for :)
Quote from: Augustus on March 21, 2012, 01:30:48 PM
Well the way i see it, if Jesus truly did die for our sins then if we don't sin he died for nothing ;)
But yeah i'm sure i read somewhere that Christians shouldn't really eat pork, so i guess bacon was created for Atheists and if there is a god then my breakfast was well worth going to hell for :)
I'd drink to that (if I didn't have to drive later)!