I remember reading a while back about the fact that humour is all about someone (or something) else's misfortune - or at least one's own superiority. The only exception to this is in the field of puns.
After years of personal pondering on this matter, and not being able to disprove the theory, I'd like to open it up to a wider scientific control. So I challenge any of of you to come up with a single example of a joke to which this rule does not apply.
It appears that, genetically rooted, humans are not the enlightened empathic creatures we like to think ourselves to be. There is no English word for this, but I do like the latin delectatio morosa, and the German Schadenfreude (Misfortune joy). Maybe we need to coin a new English word. Any thoughts? (disempathy?, felicidolority? wojocundity?)
Anyway, just to whet your appetites, here is the shortest joke in the world* just for the hell of it:
"A seal walks into a club..."
(Notice the use of pun AND misfortune - a perfect joke!)
*Feel free to challenge me on this one too...
"We don't serve neutrinos!"
"A neutrino walked into a bar."
Lock the thread now? ;D
There were these two pieces of rope, eh.
They were lying outside this pub...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHzd44o6Z0Q (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHzd44o6Z0Q)
Rangi had these chickens out the back of his place...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRxdaMU2cPU&feature=related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRxdaMU2cPU&feature=related)
We got any Mexican's out there? No? Good, listen to this...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xeBUoH0YoWM&feature=related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xeBUoH0YoWM&feature=related)
Learning Chess
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji9_eG8JI5s&feature=related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji9_eG8JI5s&feature=related)
The chess one made me giggle :)
Quote from: Scissorlegs
Anyway, just to whet your appetites, here is the shortest joke in the world* just for the hell of it:
"A seal walks into a club..."
*laffin*
Well...let's see....
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Doesn't seem insulting to the chicken.
ummmm....
Why did they bury the fireman on the side of the hill?
Because he was dead.
Nor this one.
A 7-year-old admitted to her parents that Billy kissed her after class. "How did that happen?," her mother asked. "It wasn't easy, three other girls helped me catch him."
How about this one?
On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?"
Obviously not all jokes are meant to insult.
Quote from: Gawen on October 21, 2011, 02:24:58 PM
Well...let's see....
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Doesn't seem insulting to the chicken.
ummmm....
Why did they bury the fireman on the side of the hill?
Because he was dead.
Nor this one.
{snip}
Correct. That's because it's a joke about a fireman not a chicken!
Why did the electron cross the road?
To get to the other side, probably.
Why did the chicken cross the road softly?
Because it couldn't walk, hardly.
Quote from: Tank on October 21, 2011, 02:29:49 PM
Quote from: Gawen on October 21, 2011, 02:24:58 PM
Well...let's see....
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Doesn't seem insulting to the chicken.
ummmm....
Why did they bury the fireman on the side of the hill?
Because he was dead.
Nor this one.
{snip}
Correct. That's because it's a joke about a fireman not a chicken!
you are soooooooooooooo baaad....
Quote from: OldGit on October 21, 2011, 02:58:44 PM
Why did the electron cross the road?
To get to the other side, probably.
Why did the chicken cross the road softly?
Because it couldn't walk, hardly.
Hmmmm...I get the electron one...but...
Just because the chicken could hardly walk doesn't mean it hardly walked softly.
No wait...
Just because the chicken could hardly walk doesn't mean it softly hardly walked.
ahhh...
Never mind...*chucklin*
On reflection I think this was just a very sneaky way to get a joke thread going.
Well done scissorlegs! ;D
A military officer in full dress walks into a pub and orders a pint and a pie. When they are served, he walks across to the next table, draws his dress sword and slashes off a bloke's ears. Then he takes them back to his table, arranges them on his plate either side of the pie and calmly starts eating.
The barman calls the cops who arrive PDQ. A copper walks up to the seated officer and timidly asks his name.
"Major Willoughby-Winstanley."
"And your regiment, sir?"
"Pioneer corps."
Git...that was...awful...*laffin*
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence
When is the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth Hurty
A dyslexic walks into a bra...
What's red and white and screams? A peeled baby in a bucket of salt.
Quote from: Scissorlegs on October 21, 2011, 08:59:55 PM
A dyslexic walks into a bra...
What's red and white and screams? A peeled baby in a bucket of salt.
*laffin*..
That last one has potential for thread closure...
There is also a Finnish word for "joy of others misfortune": Vahingonilo. Vahinko = misfortune, accident; Ilo = joy. ;)
I'm a terrible pun maker, but here's a aeons old one:
What did a wall say to the other?
-Meet you in the corner
And this finnish pun is playing with words:
Tuu kattoon kun kärpänen tapettiin tapettiin.
You translate that as meaning that you should come to watch, or literally go to the ceiling to see a fly being killed on tapestry....yeah, tapestry and "killed" are said in the same way...
:P
Like - a flight to the Finnish.
Pirate walks into a bar.
Bartender looks up and says, "Sir, are you aware you have a steering wheel stuck in your zipper?"
Pirate replies: "Yaaargh, it's driving me nuts."