Title: Bill Maher's "New Rule"
Post by: MysticalChicken on October 17, 2007, 01:39:15 AM
Post by: MysticalChicken on October 17, 2007, 01:39:15 AM
I actually don't usually watch Real Time with Bill Maher, but as I stated before, I'm a huge Janeane Garofalo fan, and she was on that night. At the end of the show, Maher stated his "New Rules" (which I guess he does every night?). I was applauding throughout this entire speech:
And finally, New Rule: Just because the Constitution doesn't have a religious test for office, doesn't mean I can't. This past Monday was Constitution Day in the U.S. And while I was going over the Constitution with my two adopted kids--Zack Ono and Mogadishu--I'm home schooling them--I was struck again by Article 6, Section 3. It says, "No religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office." And I agree. No one should ever be disqualified for their religion. Even the funny ones. Like all of them.
But, the problem is that there is a religious test in this country. According to a recent poll, seven in ten say it's important to have a president with strong religious beliefs. The other three couldn't take the poll because it was Friday night and Yahweh wouldn't let them answer the phone.
But, fair is fair. So, for myself and the other 15-20% of American who the majority call "non-believers," but who I call "rationalists," here is our religious test for office: if you believe in Judgment Day, I have to seriously question your judgment.
If you believe you're in a long-term relationship with an all-powerful space-daddy--who will, after you die, party with your ghost forever--you can't have my vote, even for Miss Hawaiian Tropic.
I can't trust you at the levers of government because there's an electrical fire going on in your head.
Maybe a president who didn't believe our soldiers were going to Heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.
Candidate Mitt Romney, a Mormon, believes in spiritually-blessed underwear that can protect him. He seemed like a nice man, and so do his sons, Wally and the Beav. But, I'm sorry, their religion is bat-shit. It's like Scientology without the celebrities. And he has every right to run for president while believing in magic underwear, and believing that Jesus survived his own death and will return during an Osmonds' concert in Branson. And I have every right to take that into consideration in the voting booth.
And at the end of the day, is magic underwear really that much crazier than giant arks or virgin births or talking bushes? You're either a rationalist or you're not. And the good news is, a recent poll found 20% of adults under 30 say they are rationalists and have figured out that Santa Claus and Jesus are really the same guy.
Now, 20% is hardly a majority, but it's a bigger minority than blacks, Jews, homosexuals, NRA members, teachers or seniors. And it's certainly enough to stop being shy about expressing the opinion that WE'RE NOT THE CRAZY ONES!
Just because the vote is 4-to-1, it doesn't mean the minority is wrong. People who were against this war from the start were a minority. The majority used to believe the world was flat. But if you believe that today, you'd either be packed off to Bellevue or asked to co-host "The View."
[schild=11 fontcolor=000000 shadowcolor=C0C0C0 shieldshadow=1]FUCK YEAH![/schild]
And finally, New Rule: Just because the Constitution doesn't have a religious test for office, doesn't mean I can't. This past Monday was Constitution Day in the U.S. And while I was going over the Constitution with my two adopted kids--Zack Ono and Mogadishu--I'm home schooling them--I was struck again by Article 6, Section 3. It says, "No religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office." And I agree. No one should ever be disqualified for their religion. Even the funny ones. Like all of them.
But, the problem is that there is a religious test in this country. According to a recent poll, seven in ten say it's important to have a president with strong religious beliefs. The other three couldn't take the poll because it was Friday night and Yahweh wouldn't let them answer the phone.
But, fair is fair. So, for myself and the other 15-20% of American who the majority call "non-believers," but who I call "rationalists," here is our religious test for office: if you believe in Judgment Day, I have to seriously question your judgment.
If you believe you're in a long-term relationship with an all-powerful space-daddy--who will, after you die, party with your ghost forever--you can't have my vote, even for Miss Hawaiian Tropic.
I can't trust you at the levers of government because there's an electrical fire going on in your head.
Maybe a president who didn't believe our soldiers were going to Heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.
Candidate Mitt Romney, a Mormon, believes in spiritually-blessed underwear that can protect him. He seemed like a nice man, and so do his sons, Wally and the Beav. But, I'm sorry, their religion is bat-shit. It's like Scientology without the celebrities. And he has every right to run for president while believing in magic underwear, and believing that Jesus survived his own death and will return during an Osmonds' concert in Branson. And I have every right to take that into consideration in the voting booth.
And at the end of the day, is magic underwear really that much crazier than giant arks or virgin births or talking bushes? You're either a rationalist or you're not. And the good news is, a recent poll found 20% of adults under 30 say they are rationalists and have figured out that Santa Claus and Jesus are really the same guy.
Now, 20% is hardly a majority, but it's a bigger minority than blacks, Jews, homosexuals, NRA members, teachers or seniors. And it's certainly enough to stop being shy about expressing the opinion that WE'RE NOT THE CRAZY ONES!
Just because the vote is 4-to-1, it doesn't mean the minority is wrong. People who were against this war from the start were a minority. The majority used to believe the world was flat. But if you believe that today, you'd either be packed off to Bellevue or asked to co-host "The View."
[schild=11 fontcolor=000000 shadowcolor=C0C0C0 shieldshadow=1]FUCK YEAH![/schild]
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Post by: rlrose328 on October 17, 2007, 01:45:41 AM
Post by: rlrose328 on October 17, 2007, 01:45:41 AM
Fuck yeah, indeed! Woohoo! I had to read this one outloud to get the fulll effect. Thanks for sharing!
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Post by: Jesster85 on October 17, 2007, 09:10:25 PM
Post by: Jesster85 on October 17, 2007, 09:10:25 PM
I've always liked Bill Maher. It's just a shame I can't watch his show, since it's on HBO. I miss his old one he had on ABC.
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Post by: Eclecticsaturn on October 23, 2007, 08:06:35 AM
Post by: Eclecticsaturn on October 23, 2007, 08:06:35 AM
very nice. i saw that view clip he was talkin about too. search utube for flat earth the view or something similar.0.very funny stuff.
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Post by: BleedingOrchid on December 03, 2007, 12:47:39 AM
Post by: BleedingOrchid on December 03, 2007, 12:47:39 AM
Bill Maher is hilarious! I told hubby about Romney's magical underwear & now he's grossed out. HAHAHAHA
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Post by: Girl Dancing In Orbit on December 27, 2007, 08:25:25 PM
Post by: Girl Dancing In Orbit on December 27, 2007, 08:25:25 PM
Bill Maher is very funny, Janeane Garofalo is simply a Godess :hail:
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Post by: cantthinkofaname on December 30, 2007, 07:34:50 AM
Post by: cantthinkofaname on December 30, 2007, 07:34:50 AM
thanks for posting that Mystical 
I watch Bill Maher every time he's on. I like the debates, discussions he and his guests have, they ususally have good discussions and look forward to his new rules.
Wow I remember when that 20% was less than 10%. 8)
I watch Bill Maher every time he's on. I like the debates, discussions he and his guests have, they ususally have good discussions and look forward to his new rules.
Wow I remember when that 20% was less than 10%. 8)
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Post by: Smarmy Of One on January 08, 2008, 04:51:39 PM
Post by: Smarmy Of One on January 08, 2008, 04:51:39 PM
I don't have cable, so I don't get to watch him. I have his audio book THE NEW RULES and it's hilarious.
"Space-daddy" - just brilliant!
"Space-daddy" - just brilliant!
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Post by: Sidbob on January 08, 2008, 11:00:18 PM
Post by: Sidbob on January 08, 2008, 11:00:18 PM
Lol, I saw that clip on Youtube a few weeks back, Maher is one funny guy. That line about maybe a president who didn't believe that all soldiers go to heaven would be less likely to get the killed was right on the money.
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Post by: Lindsey_Mcfarren on March 26, 2008, 04:12:15 AM
Post by: Lindsey_Mcfarren on March 26, 2008, 04:12:15 AM
If you guys that don't get HBO want to watch the Great Bill, you need to download www.bittorrent.com (http://www.bittorrent.com), then go to www.isohunt.com (http://www.isohunt.com) and do a search for his show. You can download the episodes that people have uploaded, often in HD should you have that kind of TV.
I have Tivo and he makes sure I never miss an episode.
I have Tivo and he makes sure I never miss an episode.