Admit it! Every one of you have lain awake night after night pondering this question.
God is always referred to by the top 3 as "he", "him," and "Lord" - never as "she", "her" or Lordette...or even "it." But He created Adam in his own image, and Adam was a man like any other so...nipples? Nipples have no real purpose on a man, and if god is a man, his nipples serve no purpose, so why does god have nipples?
What is the purpose of God's nipples? Ahhh....but I have found out that God indeed has nipples and what they were used for, in at least one instance. Behold:
The Odes of Solomon
Ode 19
1. A cup of milk was offered to me, and I drank it in the sweetness of the Lord's kindness.
2. The Son is the cup, and the Father is He who was milked; and the Holy Spirit is She who milked Him;
3. Because His breasts were full, and it was undesirable that His milk should be ineffectually released.
4. The Holy Spirit opened Her bosom, and mixed the milk of the two breasts of the Father.
5. Then She gave the mixture to the generation without their knowing, and those who have received it are in the perfection of the right hand.
6. The womb of the Virgin took it, and she received conception and gave birth.
7. So the Virgin became a mother with great mercies.
8. And she labored and bore the Son but without pain, because it did not occur without purpose.
9. And she did not require a midwife, because He caused her to give life.
10. She brought forth like a strong man with desire, and she bore according to the manifestation, and she acquired according to the Great Power.
11. And she loved with redemption, and guarded with kindness, and declared with grandeur.
Hallelujah.
And there you have it! HeGod has breasts that lactate. One must infer nipples. Now that that is out of the way, I can sleep at night.
Or maybe not.
Because now I'm going to be thinking if God has a penis. Perhaps not. Well, not when he can impregnate women with his breast milk.
*thinkin*...but then again, maybe he DOES have a penis but suffers erectile dysfunction? Maybe he has a vagina? Or both? If he had both, he could fuck himself...*chucklin*...after all, one never really hears of a Mrs. God.
Oh jeeez....where's my Sominex, Benadryl, Tylenol PM, whisky, vodka and hefe-weisen....gonna need it all tonight!
Quote from: Gawen on September 10, 2011, 08:44:46 PM
Because now I'm going to be thinking if God has a penis. Perhaps not. Well, not when he can impregnate women with his breast milk.
Uh... Unless someone screwed up, misunderstood and wrote it down wrong...
What if it was not
milk..?
Would god still need nipples?
Maybe it was milk, maybe not.
Ode 8/ 14: I fashioned their members, and my own breasts I prepared for them, that they might drink my holy milk and live by it.
Ode 35/5: And I was carried like a child by its mother; and He gave me milk, the dew of the Lord.
The above translations were by James Charlesworth.
-------------------------------------
Following by Collins-World Publishers.
8/17: I fashioned their members: my own breasts I prepared for them, that they might drink my holy milk and live thereby
Ode 19/1-4:
1 A cup of milk was offered to me: and I drank it in the sweetness of the delight of the Lord.
2 The Son is the cup and He who was milked is the Father:
3 And the Holy Spirit milked Him: because His breasts were full, and it was necessary for Him that His milk should be sufficiently released;
4 And the Holy Spirit opened His bosom and mingled the milk from the two breasts of the Father and gave the mixture to the world without their knowing:
Ode 35/6: And I was carried like a child by mother: and He gave me milk, the dew of the Lord:
---------------------------------
The translation by Brahmachari Prangopal (Simeon Goldstein) is virtually the same as Charlesworth's.
If one reads the Ode's you will be astounded by the symbolism/allegory/metaphorical usage. They are at the same time, gnostic (even though there is nothing distinctively gnostic), dualistic, Johannine, Jewish, Early Christian, mystical and esoteric. Incarnation and theosis is a central theme as is the name of God/Lord but ironically never revealed. The Odes, whether written by one person or many are quite pathologically delusional.
However, God's nipples remain to be seen by those not sucked into the theology of the Odes.
Quote from: Asmodean on September 10, 2011, 09:20:18 PM
Quote from: Gawen on September 10, 2011, 08:44:46 PM
Because now I'm going to be thinking if God has a penis. Perhaps not. Well, not when he can impregnate women with his breast milk.
Uh... Unless someone screwed up, misunderstood and wrote it down wrong...
What if it was not milk..?
Would god still need nipples?
Gross dude.
Gross.
God has breasts...? Mind is blown. :(
hahahahahaha. greatest thread ever. :D
Geez Gawen, why did you have to do that? Why?!
Hilarious :D
This thread has so far ignored the all-important belly button question. Adam and Eve would not have required a belly button, since they were made instead of born. Would God have given them one so they'd look like everybody else? If that's the case, then does God have one? What was the purpose of God's belly button? Does it mean he has a mother? Perhaps sometime between "Let there be light!" and creating mammals, God said "Let there be belly button, and let mine be the only lintless belly button!"
Apparently both Adam and Eve had navels.
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2F7%2F71%2FAdam_and_Eve.jpg&hash=5897566f772abf54dd3184e95f895b92f75bb61a)
Also why would God create Adam with a penis? When He created Adam God wasn't intending to create Eve, so why would he need a penis? But as God knows everything he must have known he was going to create Eve so maybe that's why he gave Adam a penis. In which case why didn't God create Adam and Eve at the same time knowing that He was going to have to create Eve anyway?
By the looks of things, he also created Adam with a baby's penis. He wouldn't have given Eve much pleasure with that!
I love that the Greeks admired tiny penises, because they thought that big ones were bestial. What an odd bunch they were.
god having breasts is an interesting choice of allegory, I can see why Constantine chose to omit 'the Odes of Solomon' from the official biblical canon!
Quote from: Tank
Also why would God create Adam with a penis? When He created Adam God wasn't intending to create Eve, so why would he need a penis? But as God knows everything he must have known he was going to create Eve so maybe that's why he gave Adam a penis. In which case why didn't God create Adam and Eve at the same time knowing that He was going to have to create Eve anyway?
the same questions go for the creation of Lucifer, and the tree of knowlegde
That's a good one. I never heard the argument of adam & eve's sexual organs.
Btw, Adam's penis is fine. o_o it's unerect...
Also, small penis looks more classy in art/sculpture.
What's with the random skeleton?
Quote from: Sweetdeath on September 14, 2011, 12:32:28 AM
Also, small penis looks more classy in art/sculpture.
Is that the equivalent of the classic "it's not the size that matters" thing? Cause it's cool to point and laugh at Adam. Just sayin'.
Quote from: fyv0h on September 14, 2011, 01:11:36 AM
"it's not the size that matters"
Actually, it does. Even if it doesn't necessarilly matter the most, it still matters.
Now, "Bigger is better", on the other hand, is a rather questionable statement.
Quote from: Tank on September 13, 2011, 02:19:48 PM
Apparently both Adam and Eve had navels.
And no body hair.
-Edit: nevermind-
Quote from: Asmodean on September 14, 2011, 01:38:07 AM
Quote from: fyv0h on September 14, 2011, 01:11:36 AM
"it's not the size that matters"
Actually, it does. Even if it doesn't necessarilly matter the most, it still matters.
Now, "Bigger is better", on the other hand, is a rather questionable statement.
I knew that ocean motion shit was garbage...
Quote from: Gawen on September 14, 2011, 01:52:10 AMAnd no body hair.
they were both naturists, and removing body hair's pretty common practice in the naturist community!
Quote from: Too Few Lions on September 14, 2011, 11:38:54 AM
Quote from: Gawen on September 14, 2011, 01:52:10 AMAnd no body hair.
...removing body hair's pretty common practice in the naturist community!
That's an oxymoron if I ever heard one...*chucklin*
I've always wanted to ask a creationist why, if God created us all in his image, do we all look so different?
I mean, most of us would say genetics and evolution, etc, etc, but if you just think that God went "poof!", and we're supposed to look just like him, why don't we all look the same?
Maybe god is a big blob made of all the races combined? Creeeepy.
I answered this in another forum a few months ago. Here is my response.
I have good news for you. YES HE DOES!
If I created a Sims character in my image, where is He? He is 'in' my image. He is 'in' the computer. The universe is God's image; a reflection of Him and His goodness to you. If you are wondering about His attributes, go ahead and start with the nipple idea. Keep going until you humble your heart and see yourself by the light of God's image. He loves you as you the babe suckling milk from His word and He loves you just as much after you are weened.
1 Peter 2
1 Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. 2 Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, 3 now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.
Quote from: Gawen on September 10, 2011, 08:44:46 PM
Admit it! Every one of you have lain awake night after night pondering this question.
God is always referred to by the top 3 as "he", "him," and "Lord" - never as "she", "her" or Lordette...or even "it." But He created Adam in his own image, and Adam was a man like any other so...nipples? Nipples have no real purpose on a man, and if god is a man, his nipples serve no purpose, so why does god have nipples?
What is the purpose of God's nipples? Ahhh....but I have found out that God indeed has nipples and what they were used for, in at least one instance. Behold:
The Odes of Solomon
Ode 19
1. A cup of milk was offered to me, and I drank it in the sweetness of the Lord's kindness.
2. The Son is the cup, and the Father is He who was milked; and the Holy Spirit is She who milked Him;
3. Because His breasts were full, and it was undesirable that His milk should be ineffectually released.
4. The Holy Spirit opened Her bosom, and mixed the milk of the two breasts of the Father.
5. Then She gave the mixture to the generation without their knowing, and those who have received it are in the perfection of the right hand.
6. The womb of the Virgin took it, and she received conception and gave birth.
7. So the Virgin became a mother with great mercies.
8. And she labored and bore the Son but without pain, because it did not occur without purpose.
9. And she did not require a midwife, because He caused her to give life.
10. She brought forth like a strong man with desire, and she bore according to the manifestation, and she acquired according to the Great Power.
11. And she loved with redemption, and guarded with kindness, and declared with grandeur.
Hallelujah.
And there you have it! HeGod has breasts that lactate. One must infer nipples. Now that that is out of the way, I can sleep at night.
Or maybe not.
Because now I'm going to be thinking if God has a penis. Perhaps not. Well, not when he can impregnate women with his breast milk.
*thinkin*...but then again, maybe he DOES have a penis but suffers erectile dysfunction? Maybe he has a vagina? Or both? If he had both, he could fuck himself...*chucklin*...after all, one never really hears of a Mrs. God.
Oh jeeez....where's my Sominex, Benadryl, Tylenol PM, whisky, vodka and hefe-weisen....gonna need it all tonight!
Wow..... Just wow..
Quote from: SuperiorEd on October 01, 2011, 05:14:04 AM
He loves you as you the babe suckling milk from His word and He loves you just as much after you are weened.
Now that is weird.
Tell me please, are you making stuff up or do you know for certain? Has god him/her/itself told you these gems?
Quote from: SuperiorEd on October 01, 2011, 05:14:04 AM
I answered this in another forum a few months ago. Here is my response.
I have good news for you. YES HE DOES!
If I created a Sims character in my image, where is He? He is 'in' my image. He is 'in' the computer. The universe is God's image; a reflection of Him and His goodness to you. If you are wondering about His attributes, go ahead and start with the nipple idea. Keep going until you humble your heart and see yourself by the light of God's image. He loves you as you the babe suckling milk from His word and He loves you just as much after you are weened.
1 Peter 2
1 Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. 2 Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, 3 now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.
Quote from: Gawen on September 10, 2011, 08:44:46 PM
Admit it! Every one of you have lain awake night after night pondering this question.
God is always referred to by the top 3 as "he", "him," and "Lord" - never as "she", "her" or Lordette...or even "it." But He created Adam in his own image, and Adam was a man like any other so...nipples? Nipples have no real purpose on a man, and if god is a man, his nipples serve no purpose, so why does god have nipples?
What is the purpose of God's nipples? Ahhh....but I have found out that God indeed has nipples and what they were used for, in at least one instance. Behold:
The Odes of Solomon
Ode 19
1. A cup of milk was offered to me, and I drank it in the sweetness of the Lord's kindness.
2. The Son is the cup, and the Father is He who was milked; and the Holy Spirit is She who milked Him;
3. Because His breasts were full, and it was undesirable that His milk should be ineffectually released.
4. The Holy Spirit opened Her bosom, and mixed the milk of the two breasts of the Father.
5. Then She gave the mixture to the generation without their knowing, and those who have received it are in the perfection of the right hand.
6. The womb of the Virgin took it, and she received conception and gave birth.
7. So the Virgin became a mother with great mercies.
8. And she labored and bore the Son but without pain, because it did not occur without purpose.
9. And she did not require a midwife, because He caused her to give life.
10. She brought forth like a strong man with desire, and she bore according to the manifestation, and she acquired according to the Great Power.
11. And she loved with redemption, and guarded with kindness, and declared with grandeur.
Hallelujah.
And there you have it! HeGod has breasts that lactate. One must infer nipples. Now that that is out of the way, I can sleep at night.
Or maybe not.
Because now I'm going to be thinking if God has a penis. Perhaps not. Well, not when he can impregnate women with his breast milk.
*thinkin*...but then again, maybe he DOES have a penis but suffers erectile dysfunction? Maybe he has a vagina? Or both? If he had both, he could fuck himself...*chucklin*...after all, one never really hears of a Mrs. God.
Oh jeeez....where's my Sominex, Benadryl, Tylenol PM, whisky, vodka and hefe-weisen....gonna need it all tonight!
Seven day posting suspension for preaching after a warning. Tank
Sorry about your luck Ed, but when you come back, I hope you have more and better evidence of God's nipples for us to chew on.
Anyway, you got me to thinking. If you make a Sims character it'll look like you, says you. If God makes a reflection of itself, it'll look like the universe - with nipples no less, says you. Do I really really need to explain how your analogy does not work?
QuoteIf you are wondering about His attributes...
Oh, you proceed from a false assumption. I do not wonder about an invisible (non-existent) entity's attributes at all. I only report those that I find interesting and fallacious; the invisible god's attributes that people seem to believe in.
QuoteKeep going until you humble your heart and see yourself by the light of God's image. He loves you as you the babe suckling milk from His word and He loves you just as much after you are weened.
This proselytising is probably what got you suspended. Still, I'm 56 years old. Been raised in his word; heard it nearly every day of my life and read it nearly every day of my life. I have not been taken in by the disreputable snake oil salesmen, by their holy book or the God itself.
I find it fascinating that God's love cannot overcome critical thinking. To paraphrase a quote from Star Trek II:
Ed, I'm laughing at the superior...
Thank you, Tank
Quote from: Gawen on October 01, 2011, 12:02:27 PM
Sorry about your luck Ed, but when you come back, I hope you have more and better evidence of God's nipples for us to chew on.
:-X