Saw this on another forum and thought it was a good idea.
Here's the scenario: you are about to be executed in front of a crowd. Cordially, you are asked for any last words. You are told that these can be either funny or profound, so long as they entertain your audience in some way.
Mine would be something like, "Surely those rifles can't hit me from all the way over -"
I certainly wouldn't be able to say anything in time because undoubtably I would spend my last moments thinking of something witty to say.
Maybe "Two more minutes, please."
I wouldn't say a word or "the audience can take their entertainment from my demise and should be ashamed of their twisted pleasures".
I'd probably just say "Oh FU** OFF!" to the guy pestering me about those last words.
Quote from: Asmodean on August 24, 2011, 02:07:02 AM
I'd probably just say "Oh FU** OFF!" to the guy pestering me about those last words.
Grumpy lumpy to the end! ;D
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on August 24, 2011, 02:09:37 AM
Quote from: Asmodean on August 24, 2011, 02:07:02 AM
I'd probably just say "Oh FU** OFF!" to the guy pestering me about those last words.
Grumpy lumpy to the end! ;D
Asmodean's facial expression will accompany him to the Pearly Gates, scare the crap out of Pete the Doorman, gain him forced entry into paradise and... Let the mayhem commence! >:(
Quote from: CrowI wouldn't say a word or "the audience can take their entertainment from my demise and should be ashamed of their twisted pleasures".
Who's to say their pleasure isn't understandable? You might have done something really terrible to them, for all you know. ;)
Quote from: Asmodean on August 24, 2011, 02:45:52 AM
Asmodean's facial expression will accompany him to the Pearly Gates, scare the crap out of Pete the Doorman, gain him forced entry into paradise and... Let the mayhem commence! >:(
Then you'll get
head explody!!!
Hurry it up and kill me.
Everyone knows Yellow Beards Puddings are never more dangerous than when they're dead!
But I don't want the Pudding to die. :(
"FFFFRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!"
Screw you for judging me. So what if I still like Mel's movies?
"I've made a huge mistake."
Hopefully the execution would be narrated by Ron Howard.
Croak.
"I return to the void as I arrived, free of superstition, and as innocent as the day I was born."
(assuming it was a firing squad...) "Your bullets cannot harm me – my wings are like a shield of steel!"
"Well, this should be interresting..."
"Mind the face, it's an open casket funeral!"
While pointing at the chap in charge of the fireing squad.
"I'll pay each of you a million dollars if you shoot him on the count of 3; 1... 2... 3!"
"This isn't how it's suppossed to work out, I wasn't supposed to have gotten caught!"
"Surely those can't be real bullets..."
"Otacoooon!"
"Hmm...nope, theistic versions of god seem just as incredible now as they did for my entire life. The cowardly argument that theists put forward that atheists are only atheists until the moment before they die doesn't say much about atheists..."
Truth is I would probably feel compelled to do something weird like bleat one or two times before I died.
I kinda like this:
Is everybody happy? I want everybody to be happy. I know I'm happy.
~~ Ethel Barrymore, actress, d. June 18, 1959
Don't shoot!
Quote from: OldGit on August 26, 2011, 09:47:35 AM
Don't shoot!
lol. To the point, but unlikly to have any effect!
"Hello my baby! Hello my honey! Hello my ragtime doll!"
(shot while for singing?)
Quote from: joeactor on August 26, 2011, 06:09:34 PM
"Hello my baby! Hello my honey! Hello my ragtime doll!"
(shot while for singing?)
My idea came from the above.
I'd ask if I could sing a song first, then I'd begin singing The Song That Never Ends (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Song_That_Never_Ends).
Lamb Chop (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNTxr2NJHa0) version...the one I grew up hearing. :)
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on August 26, 2011, 06:48:57 PM
Quote from: joeactor on August 26, 2011, 06:09:34 PM
"Hello my baby! Hello my honey! Hello my ragtime doll!"
(shot while for singing?)
My idea came from the above.
I'd ask if I could sing a song first, then I'd begin singing The Song That Never Ends (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Song_That_Never_Ends).
Lamb Chop (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNTxr2NJHa0) version...the one I grew up hearing. :)
Haha, though after a few verses, they might just shoot one from annoyance.
Quote from: Davin on August 26, 2011, 06:50:05 PM
Haha, though after a few verses, they might just shoot one from annoyance.
Eh...it's worth a shot (ha!) given the scenario.
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on August 26, 2011, 06:51:46 PM
Quote from: Davin on August 26, 2011, 06:50:05 PM
Haha, though after a few verses, they might just shoot one from annoyance.
Eh...it's worth a shot (ha!) given the scenario.
I might do it just to annoy them.
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on August 26, 2011, 06:51:46 PM
Quote from: Davin on August 26, 2011, 06:50:05 PM
Haha, though after a few verses, they might just shoot one from annoyance.
Eh...it's worth a shot (ha!) given the scenario.
I kinda want to shoot you now that I'll probably have that damn song stuck in my head all day. ;D
DAMN YOU, LAMPCHOP!!
Quote from: Sweetdeath on August 26, 2011, 10:00:55 PM
DAMN YOU, LAMPCHOP!!
<-- is humming, "This is the song that never ends...yes, it goes on and on my friends..."
;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtBwPVtZCsc (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtBwPVtZCsc)
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on August 27, 2011, 08:07:11 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtBwPVtZCsc (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtBwPVtZCsc)
I liked Churchill.
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on August 26, 2011, 10:07:27 PM
Quote from: Sweetdeath on August 26, 2011, 10:00:55 PM
DAMN YOU, LAMPCHOP!!
<-- is humming, "This is the song that never ends...yes, it goes on and on my friends..."
;)
*shaking fist* xD
The leader of the opposition here in Canada passed away this week after losing his battle with cancer. Two days before he died he wrote a letter "to his fellow Canadians". The last few lines have been quoted everywhere.
"My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world."
If I could up with something poignant like that before I died, I'd be pretty happy.
Quote from: DeterminedJuliet on August 28, 2011, 12:28:30 PM
The leader of the opposition here in Canada passed away this week after losing his battle with cancer. Two days before he died he wrote a letter "to his fellow Canadians". The last few lines have been quoted everywhere.
"My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world."
If I could up with something poignant like that before I died, I'd be pretty happy.
Well get to work now, you never know when you'll need them!
Hey look over there. There's a grassy knoll !
(A bit off-topic) Never mind that, Mrs Lincoln; how was the show?
Shoot. I dare ya ;D
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on August 29, 2011, 01:15:13 AM
Shoot. I dare ya ;D
LOL! That's what Groucho Marx would say!
Marshal Ney demanded the right to command the firing squad which shot him:
Quote"Soldiers, when I give the command to fire, fire straight at my heart.
Wait for the order. It will be my last to you .... Soldiers, Fire!"[
Quote from: Ihateyoumike on August 24, 2011, 07:25:18 AM
"FFFFRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!"
How do you vocalize that..? A stretched D... Never learned that tongue technique
"Bummer."
Quote from: Asmodean on August 29, 2011, 05:31:51 PM
Quote from: Ihateyoumike on August 24, 2011, 07:25:18 AM
"FFFFRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!"
How do you vocalize that..? A stretched D... Never learned that tongue technique
LOL
And the 'f' as well, unless you want to be a saliva collector, get out of the way ;D
Quote from: Asmodean on August 29, 2011, 05:31:51 PM
Quote from: Ihateyoumike on August 24, 2011, 07:25:18 AM
"FFFFRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!"
How do you vocalize that..? A stretched D... Never learned that tongue technique
It's an acquired skill. Much dedication is needed to perfect it. With enough practice, even you can do it- you simply need to believe in yourself.
Just so you know: I am connected to a heart monitor which is connected to a super computer, which sent a virus that is connected to every major governmental computer in the world, which is connected to..... well why don't you just pull the trigger and find out.
Quote from: Buddhasansocie on August 30, 2011, 03:52:09 AM
Just so you know: I am connected to a heart monitor which is connected to a super computer, which sent a virus that is connected to every major governmental computer in the world, which is connected to..... well why don't you just pull the trigger and find out.
I think there was a movie with something like that...the protagonist had something which was powered by his heart beats and if and when those stopped...
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on August 30, 2011, 04:31:23 AM
Quote from: Buddhasansocie on August 30, 2011, 03:52:09 AM
Just so you know: I am connected to a heart monitor which is connected to a super computer, which sent a virus that is connected to every major governmental computer in the world, which is connected to..... well why don't you just pull the trigger and find out.
I think there was a movie with something like that...the protagonist had something which was powered by his heart beats and if and when those stopped...
There have been quite a few that I can't even pick just which one it is exactly.
I might steal a quote from the great Homer J. Simpson...
"Save me Jebus!"
Or I guess another of his exclamations may be fitting...
"D'oh!"
Now I just feel ashamed, imagine relying on Homer Simpson for my last words... tut tut.
Quote from: saulgood on September 01, 2011, 01:44:56 AM
I might steal a quote from the great Homer J. Simpson...
"Save me Jebus!"
Or I guess another of his exclamations may be fitting...
"D'oh!"
Now I just feel ashamed, imagine relying on Homer Simpson for my last words... tut tut.
I love Homer so much. XD
In fact, Flanders is probably one of my fav characters as well.
Quote from: Sweetdeath on September 01, 2011, 04:42:15 AM
I love Homer so much. XD
I'm more of a Peter Griffin fan myself (it most be the Irish in him!) but Homer certainly does have his moments. Another memorable Homerism may fit as my last words!
"I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!"Okay, that's it... no more Homer Simpson quotes from me. I promise. :-[
"I have it on good authority that my mother (substitute wife, girlfriend or other as needed) will buy drinks for whoever misses."
Pointing at the officer.
"If you shoot him, one of you will get promoted."
"Alas, I shall never get to share my astonishing secret with the world... and to think they said the invention of a Perpetual Motion Machine was impossible!"
Quote from: saulgood on September 02, 2011, 08:26:08 PM
"Alas, I shall never get to share my astonishing secret with the world... and to think they said the invention of a Perpetual Motion Machine was impossible!"
Unfortunatly for saulgood the officer knew all about the second law of thermodynamics :-[
Might have had better luck with cold fusion!
Quote from: Tank on September 02, 2011, 08:35:27 PM
Quote from: saulgood on September 02, 2011, 08:26:08 PM
"Alas, I shall never get to share my astonishing secret with the world... and to think they said the invention of a Perpetual Motion Machine was impossible!"
Unfortunatly for saulgood the officer knew all about the second law of thermodynamics :-[
What the clever Officer failed to realise was that I may just have been referring to a Perpetual Motion Machine of the first kind. Oh the humanity!
Quote from: saulgood on September 02, 2011, 08:50:26 PM
Quote from: Tank on September 02, 2011, 08:35:27 PM
Quote from: saulgood on September 02, 2011, 08:26:08 PM
"Alas, I shall never get to share my astonishing secret with the world... and to think they said the invention of a Perpetual Motion Machine was impossible!"
Unfortunatly for saulgood the officer knew all about the second law of thermodynamics :-[
What the clever Officer failed to realise was that I may just have been referring to a Perpetual Motion Machine of the first kind. Oh the humanity!
10th post! Get stuck in!
"I shaved my balls for THIS??" :P
QuoteKing Schariar, legendary King of Samarkand found he had been deceived by his wife and as punishment had his wife and a succession of three thousand virgins (one each night) put to death.
Against her father's protestations, Sheherazade volunteered to spend one night with the King. Once in the King's chambers, Sheherazade asked if she might bid one last farewell to her beloved sister Dunyazade, who had secretly been prepared to ask Sheherazade to tell a story during the long night. The King lay awake and listened with awe to Sheherazade's first story and asked for another, but Sheherazade said there wasn't time as dawn was breaking, and regretfully so, as the next story was even more exciting.
And so the King kept Sheherazade alive as he eagerly anticipated each new story and after one thousand and one adventurous nights, the King had not only been entertained but wisely educated in morality and kindness by Sheherazade who became his Queen.
The present form of The Thousand and One Nights is completely Muslim in spirit and is thought to be native to Persia or one of the Arabic speaking countries. It is one of the few examples of a woman seen as a heroine in an Arabic country.
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