Hey everybody. This is my first post on here.
So I just started training this new guy at the factory I work at. He's one of those Cornerstone metalcore punkey christian dudes, probably about 24 years old or so. He stands next to me for 10 hours a day, and he's a bit of a talker, so naturally his religion comes up all the time (he can't wait for church tonight, he's super pumped about handing out cookies to homeless people for his church, going on some mission trip etc). I just smile and nod. The strange thing is, he also tells me about how he was "so fucked up last night", about how he found out that him and his buddy had both "fucked the same chick" and a ton of other topics that I would think would be the last thing for a christian to do, much less openly talk about. I can't bring myself to openly call this guy out. What do you think his deal is? Is he just too dumb? Is his christianity just some trendy thing for him to use to get laid? Or is there something about modern christianity that I haven't heard about? I cannot for the life of me figure this dude out.
Hi snakeinatree
Over the years I have come to the conclusion that most people are an odd collage of morality, motivations and impulses. Add a layer of theistic beliefs and it simply gets more complicated. I'd just let him rattle on because as you say "Nobody's Perfect".
So what brings you here!
Welcome to HAF :)
Regards
Chris
Leave him alone. Don't judge him. Don't call him out.
It's pointless.
There are some people (thiests) who think athiests lack morals and values. I think it is the opposite.
Anyway, just ignore the guy, or politely ask him to stop talking to you about non work related topics.
Quote from: Sweetdeath on July 12, 2011, 07:59:06 AM
There are some people (thiests) who think athiests lack morals and values. I think it is the opposite.
Anyway, just ignore the guy, or politely ask him to stop talking to you about non work related topics.
It's very difficult to ignore a person you work with for 8 hours a day. It's worse if you start to ignore somebody who you have previously interected with. They will notice the difference and wonder what is going on. It's a difficult situation to be sure.
I think it is great that the homeless people get some cookies, just hope that they don't have to earn it by sitting through some tedious stories about how great Jesus is.
Objectively speaking, everybody seems to follow the same moral code regardless of whether they attribute it to religion or not. We all seem to pass similar judgements of right or wrong when presented with the same moral/ethical problem, yet we do not act that way 100% of the time. You can judge his actions as hypocritical in a way that seems so obvious to you, it's frustrating for you that he doesn't get it.
The best you can hope to do is make more aware of what he hasn't realized. Everyone, religious or not, is in need of someone to bring awareness to their actions. We are all guilty of making mistakes sometimes, and we acknowledge that we made them because the idea of what is moral is instilled in all of us.
Y'know, I know that jesus was a fictional character, but it's good advice anyway:
Don't judge anyone. You'll be judged. And I don't mean by some imaginary god. I mean you'll be judged by others. What do you get? Two people judging each other, and then they don't get along and yet they have to work next to each other for eight hours a day.
You may be an atheist, and you may have your own beliefs. In fact, one of the biggest belief you might hold(I don't know you), is to not have others ram their religion down their throat, yes?
But you see, he's not ramming his religion down your throat. He's talking about what he believes and about himself, and you're getting offended by that.
I'm not saying that you have to convert to his religion or anything. I'm saying that if you realize that he's just doing his thing and being himself, then it ceases to be a problem.
Quote from: Rizuidad on July 13, 2011, 01:22:16 AMDon't judge anyone. You'll be judged. And I don't mean by some imaginary god. I mean you'll be judged by others. What do you get? Two people judging each other, and then they don't get along and yet they have to work next to each other for eight hours a day.
I've never understood this concept, I judge and hope to be judged by people. However I do stress that the judgments be consistent and reasonable or else I tend to ignore them.
Quote from: RizuidadI'm not saying that you have to convert to his religion or anything. I'm saying that if you realize that he's just doing his thing and being himself, then it ceases to be a problem.
Even if one accepts that the dude is being himself, it doesn't solve the problem of the dude telling the stories.
Quote from: snakeinatree on July 10, 2011, 09:12:37 PM
Hey everybody. This is my first post on here.
So I just started training this new guy at the factory I work at. He's one of those Cornerstone metalcore punkey christian dudes, probably about 24 years old or so. He stands next to me for 10 hours a day, and he's a bit of a talker, so naturally his religion comes up all the time (he can't wait for church tonight, he's super pumped about handing out cookies to homeless people for his church, going on some mission trip etc). I just smile and nod. The strange thing is, he also tells me about how he was "so fucked up last night", about how he found out that him and his buddy had both "fucked the same chick" and a ton of other topics that I would think would be the last thing for a christian to do, much less openly talk about. I can't bring myself to openly call this guy out. What do you think his deal is? Is he just too dumb? Is his christianity just some trendy thing for him to use to get laid? Or is there something about modern christianity that I haven't heard about? I cannot for the life of me figure this dude out.
This sounds an aweful lot like my brother in law. He's the lead singer of a Christian Hard Rock band, always super pumped about "the spirit" and asking people point blank "how's your walk with the Lord?". On the same hand, he has been separated from his wife for a couple of months because he wanted to "try out other women" and "wasn't sure she was the one", and he also engages in all sorts of debauchery.
Who am I to judge... but both guys sound like total shitheads, and neither is invited to my birthday party. ;D
It's OK to counter this guy with examples of your own moral constitution but not necessary to direct them toward his religion. I know a lot of guys talk up how "bad" they are because they live under the false pretense that it makes them seem more powerful or more dominant especially when interacting with other men. If I were in your shoes i would start bringing up my own stories or just countering with how those stories conflict with your own moral view.
Example:
Statement: "Dud i was so wasted last night, and found out that me and my buddy fucked the same chick."
Response: "Gross man, what if you and your buddy end up sharing the same case of herpes? See that is why i don't drink anymore, I couldn't keep up with all the stupid shit drinking made me do. You should be careful bro."
That would be my response, in a cool way you are expressing your distaste for his behavior and letting him know that his behavior does not jive with your moral code. It's OK to assert yourself, especially if his choice in topics are annoying or upsetting. Then you can try to find something else to talk about that is neutral in nature like sports, television, video games, movies or literature. All of this I guess comes under the assumption that he has a broader range of interests than serving god and practicing alcohol induced premarital casual sex.
good Luck
I'm definately not offended by this guy. I just posed this question because I just cannot figure out how he doesn't find his own behavior ironic. absurdsolidarity is right, everyone adheres to basically the same morals as everyone else. I guess the only difference is weither you need fairy tales to explain them to you or not.
Quote from: snakeinatree on July 15, 2011, 11:42:01 AM
I'm definately not offended by this guy. I just posed this question because I just cannot figure out how he doesn't find his own behavior ironic. absurdsolidarity is right, everyone adheres to basically the same morals as everyone else. I guess the only difference is weither you need fairy tales to explain them to you or not.
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Honestly I think either he does not hear what comes out of his mouth...and I am serious I really believe some folks don't
Or he has his religion as an excuse due to the ability to misbahave and then freak out when you get caught have to run to God and repent with the full expectation when shit gets too deep of a full round forgiveness
Clean the slate and then acti the fool again...i think that he is torn between two worlds..reality and religion
maybe?
I work as a Nurse with a Jew for Jesus on one side and someone who told me..."i do not car you are a democrat but I love you and want you in heaven on the other...
Jew for Jesus woman is...pardon my judgment a wack a mole who there is no reasoning with...what she "believes" and how she behaves do not always match...sometime the hair on the back of my neck goes up and I cringe!...so my stradigy...because she is soo kind to our patients and works her ass off... I just try to find the best ways to make her laugh and try to redirect obviously offensive comments...the one who loves me...really does loven me dearly..i(they both seem to love and accept me...new position for me and I love how we work so well together) also a strong nurse who busts ass at work...sometime I feel kind of bad for her true worry about me...so I bring her home made goodies and love her back..and make her laugh
Sometimes I have to just abort the conversations by "gotta go check my patient" always true...or my favorite...divert conversation to laughter (back up asenal of distractions always ready at hand)
I think all the black and white of most believers causes them so much anxiety about life they can not just be
Hope this helps...I have dealt with this all my life..humor is my sword ...
Quote from: Hidelight on July 15, 2011, 12:51:43 PM
I think all the black and white of most believers causes them so much anxiety about life they can not just be
I think it's the other way round, the religious world and especially morality code seems to be absurdly simple. I envy being able to make choices based on only black and white thinking, it would make my life so much easier. I don't envy being religious, however ;D
I guess it causes them anxiety because they don't live up to the absurdly simple and all round absurd (redundancy is a virtue in this context) moral code.
...And boy, will he be surprised when St. Pete uses the big red flusher button as he shows up at the Gates™
Quote from: Tank on July 10, 2011, 09:22:01 PM
Over the years I have come to the conclusion that most people are an odd collage of morality, motivations and impulses. Add a layer of theistic beliefs and it simply gets more complicated. I'd just let him rattle on because as you say "Nobody's Perfect".
I agree with Tank. It's hard to find anyone who's moral landscape is without some form of contradiction. If we are honest, we are all guilty of this.
I think your point is that it's strange how your colleague's professed morals can, at times, be so at odds with the statements he made in the previous breath, especially when he regularly reminds you that they come from the instructed morality of his Bible. It must seem that he really can't be sincere about his beliefs or else is ignorant of the true message of his faith.
I'd say that some religionists really are ignorant - they often think that the central message is to love everyone. They have never heard that the Bible's message really is one of vicarious redemption (i.e. scapegoating) with the sole purpose of cheating death.
For the others that are aware of all the doctrines, and are happy to pick and choose only the ones they approve of, you could say they are insincere because they impose their own moral judgement over that of the scripture. You might question why they make the objective judgement of which elements are really moral and then give credit to God rather than themselves.
I guess you should be thankful that he is one or the other. If he abandoned the calming effect of his faith, he sounds like he would be an animal. If he paid a bit more attention to his scripture, he sounds like he would be a mysogenystic sadist.