I've seen this thread in one other place (http://atheistforums.org/thread-7470.html) but from it's introduction it doesn't seem to have originated there.
You make a wish.
The next poster grants your wish but subverts it some how.
You make your own wish.
Someone wished this -
QuoteI wish my old dog was a young pup again so I can enjoy him for many more years.
Granted, your name changes to Dorian and you carry your dogs years x 7.
I wish for a small noise cancelling elephant that sits on my desk preventing crap TV reaching my ears.
Perhaps the noise cancelling elephant works just a little bit too well, not enabling you to hear the murderous screams of your girlfriend begging your for...companionship?
I wish that this wish does not get granted. And a pony.
Holy shit, my wish came true!
Quote from: Rizuidad on July 09, 2011, 03:04:32 AM
I wish that this wish does not get granted. And a pony.
I would have granted your wish earlier but we have a resident Pony specialist (https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/index.php?action=dlattach;attach=1209;type=avatar) but they have remained silent. But without further ado a pony is yours, but it is very angry, the embodiment of millennia of equine resentment. Revenge for all their long history of being sat upon will be visited upon you.
A remote control that has a finger print reader, only usable by me and this remote will have a button that disables all other remotes in range. Yes what I want is one remote to rule them all bwa ha ha ha.
I wish I had a remote that could interfere with other remotes, but I don't know what I would do with one once I got it.
Make everyone watch what you want them to watch?
I wish for great balls of fire.(the song, you ninny.) >:(
Quote from: Rizuidad on July 11, 2011, 03:07:58 AM
I wish for great balls of fire.(the song, you ninny.) >:(
Your wish is granted, you are now a thirteen year old girl and Jerry Lee will sing it for you on his and your wedding night.
I wish for my hopes and wishes be dashed in a more creatively malevolent fashion.
My Wish: I wish I can write a best selling sci-fi novel.
You're L. Ron Hubbard, congratulations on starting Scientology!
I wish for for the ability to travel through time!
William, you refer to yourself as, "grandaddy" don't you?
I wish for, oh SHIZ, NOO!
Quote from: Will on July 13, 2011, 01:33:23 AM
I wish for for the ability to travel through time!
Oh time, I hate time don't we travel through it everyday, ride it like a wave maybe, whacking into the occasional rock.
Anyway I will grant your wish. Unfortunately you don't control your ability directly, it is triggered by extreme embarrassment, discomfort or pain. Once you experience some extreme unpleasantness you are doomed to loop back and repeat it until you kiss a Jesus icon, on the bum.
I wish drivers of large off road vehicles they don't have reason to own, be doomed to an eternity propelling such a vehicle, Fred Flintstone style with feet through the floor.
Quote from: Rizuidad on July 13, 2011, 01:46:13 AM
I wish for, oh SHIZ, NOO!
~POOF~ Your a steaming pile. (Weird wish) :D
I wish for world p.....izza. As big as the world.
Quote from: Shy on July 13, 2011, 05:22:46 AMI wish for world p.....izza. As big as the world.
There you go, the world starves (including you and all animals except the buffalo), during the process though.
I wish Asmodean would be less grumpy, but the lumpness, greyness and clayness are just fine. That wish can't go wrong.
Quote from: Davin on July 13, 2011, 04:24:48 PM
I wish Asmodean would be less grumpy, but the lumpness, greyness and clayness are just fine. That wish can't go wrong.
You just don't understand the fine integration of malevolence, gift and despair that should be the quintessence of a Grant of Wish.
I thought I had a better idea before my last sentence, but it was a demanding sentence.
Oh it's so obvious, he's less grumpy because your intestines are now decorating his walls.
I forgot I had to wish, next year 20% more tiger sharks have unfortunate accidents and a few more dugongs, albatross and turtles live on.
I know there's some wondrous circle of life thing, but I don't like it.
Quote from: The Magic Pudding on July 13, 2011, 05:21:41 AM
I wish drivers of large off road vehicles they don't have reason to own, be doomed to an eternity propelling such a vehicle, Fred Flintstone style with feet through the floor.
Granted, but the event happens simultaneously all over the world and is viewed as a miracle by religious environmentalists. These environmentalist enact a holy war against major oil and auto companies. The government is forced to react and thus a rift is created by government siding with the corporations. Disenfranchised workers are forced to chose sides as the world descends into chaos. As a result HAF goes offline...forever.
I wish for stem cell research to build a database and body bank so we can have an endless supply of biological replacement parts.
Quote from: Twentythree on July 13, 2011, 06:50:35 PM
I wish for stem cell research to build a database and body bank so we can have an endless supply of biological replacement parts.
Granted, but then the religious environmentalists and religious fundementalists team up against you and and since HAF and other freethought/atheist or skeptic forums are offline you can't recruit others to your cause.
I wish I had an endless supply of diet pepsi. Then I could actually save money to do what I want most.
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on July 13, 2011, 07:18:02 PM
I wish I had an endless supply of diet pepsi. Then I could actually save money to do what I want most.
Hmmmmmm, I don't know what you want most so, sorry I'll have to be extra cruel.
All the pretend pepsi is yours but some clumsy member of the press in the process of selflessly providing a conduit between your joy and a world wide paying prying mob trips on his cord and bumps you sending your straw through your quaglosium primary, destroying your ability to know what you want next.
I wish Vlad Putin has a nice day tomorrow.
Quote from: The Magic Pudding
I wish Vlad Putin has a nice day tomorrow.
He will, with a mousy looking fake redhead Chechen woman that gives him the clap. His doctor and guards will not have a nice day 3 days after that for failing to find the disease and Mr. Putin will go back to using German condoms of the same type he uses as dust and water protection on his rifles.
I wish my RC airplanes would never crash
Quote from: Gawen on July 24, 2011, 01:15:07 PM
I wish my RC airplanes would never crash
Granted.They will just fly gracefully into the distance never to be found again after gently landing and being taken away by a very happy child.
I wish I knew what to wish for!
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.luminous-landscape.com%2Fimages-70%2Fd3.jpg&hash=7441bc1eced4d17730e731f215ace2cb8fbe0d23) (https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FEQtzk.jpg&hash=cc4c082debc7b3836e57b02c8dbd1f88c0c5d7c9)
A little imagination is required here.
I've got Doctor Who Tardis, I'd like it to become fully functional.
Quote from: Tank
I wish I knew what to wish for!
Be careful what you wish for!
Quote from: The Magic Pudding on July 24, 2011, 01:36:09 PM
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.luminous-landscape.com%2Fimages-70%2Fd3.jpg&hash=7441bc1eced4d17730e731f215ace2cb8fbe0d23) (https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FEQtzk.jpg&hash=cc4c082debc7b3836e57b02c8dbd1f88c0c5d7c9)
A little imagination is required here.
I've got Doctor Who Tardis, I'd like it to become fully functional.
When it was used to phone the police, the coppers showed up before they were even called, which created a time paradox of the police both being there from being called and not being there because no one called them on account that they had arrived to the call that has yet to be made... causing your newly functioning T.A.R.D.I.S. to poof out of all existence entirely. But returning the time it takes the police to respond to a call to a few hours. The Twilight Zone moral: Don't try to make the police respond faster.
I wish someone would grant Tank his wish to know what to wish for.
?