I was reading through the age discrimination (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/index.php?topic=6770.0) topic and people started talking about how online personas compare to RL ones. Since the way identity interacts with global communication has always interested me (trolling was actually the subject of my dissertation piece) this got me curious.
Would you say that the way you behave on this forum is an accurate reflection of 'the real you'?
And I don't mean in literal ways like age, race and other labels; I mean in more subjective ways like how polite you are, how easygoing, how dominant, how submissive, how kind etc.
I don't think Melmoth is like me at all, by the way. This isn't a conscious attempt to deceive people. When I write him, I occupy a very particular mindset, which I don't need to be in normally. So he might represent a very thin sliver of me, greatly distorted by the prism of social 'culture' it needs to adapt to here at Happyatheist, but I don't think it could give you any real idea of what I'm like off the computer.
Interesting thought... I certainly think on-line groups are susceptible to all sorts of personality types to be manipulative if they want to be, but just like Real folks, I think the real answer will be just as varied as meeting people in person. One thing I like about this group is that you require the 50 posts for a new member to settle in before turning themselves loose on the group. I think the Avatars people choose can be alter-egos of a sort (which is why I like the thread on here about why people chose their avatars). For me, my "on-line Kim" tends to be a person who cuts through normal barriers quicker and gets straight to the heart.
But my husband wryly pointed out moments ago that my avatar is a raccoon, an animal who people normally perceive as hiding behind a mask! Ah~ who am I??!!
Peace, Kim
Yeah, I liked the 50 posts thing when I joined. It forced me to understand people a little more before going for their jugular in a debate, which probably kept me out of some trouble... I can be very rash. :-X Brilliant idea. Never seen it done anywhere else.
An interesting question. I am generally pretty similar on-line to off-line. Where I differ is that I will be much more annoyed on-line with people than off-line. I'm also a much better judge of character off-line than on-line. I put these issues down to the vastly reduced communication 'bandwidth' that one has on-line. One loses all the visible and audible clues when relying only on the written word. In addition one is using writing as one would talk and in that sense one can be more ambiguous that if one is writing a carefully constructed essay or letter.
Quote from: Melmoth on May 01, 2011, 03:22:34 PM
Yeah, I liked the 50 posts thing when I joined. It forced me to understand people a little more before going for their jugular in a debate, which probably kept me out of some trouble... I can be very rash. :-X Brilliant idea. Never seen it done anywhere else.
It is a very good idea that Whitney introduced a few months ago. One intent was to stop the hit-and-run types that splurge in the religion section and then bugger off, never to be heard from again. It's pretty much stopped that happening.
I react badly to rudeness in others, but unfortunately that brings out the rudeness in me.
I tend to be more brusque on forums than either in real life or in other on-line situations, though I do try actually not to be cruel, even inadvertently.
I'm a good deal more assertive, and coherent here than in real life. This mostly has to do with the fact that I can express myself better in writing, and my various social issues.
Not only that, but the rules for online interactions are a lot more intuitive than rl ones. I also get as much time as I want/need to formulate my thoughts and put it into words.
I think the only difference is that in real life my being shy is obvious...but it's only when I first meet people and is especially evident if the other person is also shy. This is also something I've been working on correcting so it is becoming less and less of a difference.
I would also have more issues having to ban and enforce rules on people in real life...but that's mainly due to the extra issues surrounding trying to make a person physically comply as opposed to just not giving them access to a forum.
Anyone who has actually met me could point out if there are any other differences.
Posting under my real name doesn't exactly provide me with an alias persona to potentially hide behind anyway.
I'm the same person on HAF as I am IRL. That's a big part of why I changed my username from a handle to my real first name and changed my avatar to a picture of me, to remind me to be myself. It's more rewarding, once you've found a community you feel comfortable in, to be yourself.
I'm pretty much the same. Maybe a tiny bit nicer here than in real life...
I have to tone me down online..... I'm a fairly hyper, upbeat, positive, morning person type. I've found that annoys a few too many people. Also gives the impression that I'm dumb as a box of rocks for some reason.
And I'm a very blunt person, this too annoys people.
I think that the person I am online is closer to the real me than the person I show most people in the real world, those dear to me excepted.
I tend to not "chime in" as much on this forum, as usually one or several people say what I am thinking better than I would have. In real life, I don't come across people with that skillset very often (especially not in my line of work) so I tend to talk more, if for no other reason than to "set somebody straight."
BTW, This Marquee feature is pretty cool.
My husband joined another on-line atheist group at the same time I started visiting here. We wanted to join separate groups to keep our identities stronger. So I have had the recent experience of reading his posts as I am here communicating with the "real" Eddy. It sort of surprised me. He's definitely himself on his forum; but it's like he is way more compact since he's making an effort to choose his words more carefully so he doesn't go on and on like me. I've realized I sort of write like I speak... Sorry!
Queen of the run-on sentences,
Kim
PS. I've also finally realized what it means to fight over the remote. We don't have a live TV, so we are never in that position... but now we have two people on two separate forums. Now I need a dastardly plan to hog the keyboard and mouse!
I've obviously not posted much here, but I am no stranger to online forums... That being said, in general, I am calmer online than I am in person. I take more time when responding. I am able to think through my arguments and present them in a more coherent way since online forums do not require immediate reactions. I try to be authentic, though.
On a forum I do not type that I laugh everytime I laugh nor do I type a message for everything I agree with. In real life I'll nod or laugh, so there is a bit of a difference that is due to just the medium than to a choice in how I present myself.
In chat I'll often type "lol" or "hahaha". In text I tend to keep my ideas simple, thought out and easy to understand because it's easier for me to talk about complex things when I can quickly respond to problems of communication or problems with the idea itself.
In phone calls (or VOIP calls), I'll laugh, and in "sure", "uh huh" and others things to let the person know I agree and/or am following. The ideas I'll express are a little more complicated and I tend to use the medium for raw, less thought out, less complete ideas than the concepts I'll express through text.
In person to person communication there are no limitations for me, I just talk and sometimes draw up some visuals to express the ideas. The only difference is that at work I'll refrain from certain words, topics and/or loudness.
In public speaking I tend to try to limit the humor to things that are funny to a the group as a whole than I do with small groups, I tend to make sure I have thought out everything and how I'm going to express the ideas, most visual aids are made up ahead of time.
I'm not much for using the medium as shield to hide who I am or to treat other people like shit. I always prefer person to person communication because it tends to be more efficient, more interesting and I tend to have more fun.
It's interesting that so many find themselves being more brusque and assertive online than in real life. I'm like Asmodean, hismikeness and Teresa. I'm nicer online, if only because I don't know who/what I'm talking to. When someone says something that really annoys me, I always have to be open to the possibility that they're eight years old or in some way mentally handicapped, even if they've said otherwise.
So now you know, if ever I'm being particularly nice to you in an argument, I probably think you're a child with downs syndrome. :D
Quote from: willI'm the same person on HAF as I am IRL. That's a big part of why I changed my username from a handle to my real first name and changed my avatar to a picture of me, to remind me to be myself. It's more rewarding, once you've found a community you feel comfortable in, to be yourself.
I had wondered! You don't often see people doing that. A testament to the friendliness of this place, I suppose.
Quote from: KimPS. I've also finally realized what it means to fight over the remote. We don't have a live TV, so we are never in that position... but now we have two people on two separate forums. Now I need a dastardly plan to hog the keyboard and mouse!
Change the computer's password! ;D
I suppose I'm more shy in person. Unless I know the person well.
Quote from: Melmoth
So now you know, if ever I'm being particularly nice to you in an argument, I probably think you're a child with downs syndrome. :D
That is hilarious, but also good to know.
There should be a suspicious smiley.
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi142.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fr107%2FDaveD_05%2FSmileys%2F18.gif&hash=290ab6372dbdccfcd3e8c947aa42f2038cc49c33)
Too suspicious.
It's slightly difficult to say. On this forum, I'd say I'm exactly as I am if we would meet in person, with the caviat that we are engaged in a discussion on the subjects I engage in here. Otherwise, I'm not exactly the same. It's like the 'ole saying that my mother DID tell me about; "Never speak about religion or politics with friends or family if you want to remain friends or family" (or something to that effect) I've found this true in some respect as one does have to be careful not to just blurt out some knee-jerk reactions, but not totally true. I have a few friends I am comfortable with engaging in these topics and we seem to agree to disagree and remain friends.
Now, I'm sure there are instances of friends that know my stance on some things and think different than I do or may even believe I'm an idiot troll on some thing ( as Recussant does now on the Bin Laden dead! thread here (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/index.php?topic=7403.msg112236#msg112236) and here (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/index.php?topic=7403.msg112340#msg112340) ) but we remain good friends. I'm not aware of losing any friend due to our differences in religion or politics. We've remained friends and never hand out "negative kudos" for simple personal ideas.
I would classify myself as a better person, in person, than on this forum. After all, I am at odds with 99% of you here.
I have -4 kudos already...I guess it's the nature of me unavoidably being a Troll here at HAF. :)
@AD: You're not at odds with me. The only thing I hold to heart is respect and good manners, thus my only real argument is with the rude. You could believe the Earth is flat for all I care. I'd have fun picking your brain about it - ideas are interesting, especially strange ones - but it wouldn't actually bother me.
And I can't say I'm a fan of the karma/kudos system, myself. I've been on a few forums which have it and the first thing I always notice is that nobody cares about their own score, or they all claim not to. Yet most still try distribute it fairly, which suggests that they expect others to. :-\ One of the odd hypocrisies of online, human behaviour. I don't think 'being popular' is something that should necessarily be encouraged on a discussion board.
Anyway, have some kudos. I think Hugh Laurie should shut up as well.
QuoteThere should be a suspicious smiley.
Oooh, seconded.
I usually prefer to be myself on the internet due to the e-anonymity. Unless an acquaintance like a relative who lives far away & doesn't know me, or a classmate (atheist at a Christian School, by the way) could find my profile & comments, I have little concern, and I don't care what anyone else on teh interwebz thinks of me.
I tend to say more online than I would in real life, mostly because I can plan what I want to say. That's once I'm comfortable in the environment, anyway.
I'm much more polite on these forums than in 'real' life. For example, I never swear in any of my posts (at least, not yet).
Quote from: KDbeads on May 03, 2011, 03:00:35 PMAnd I'm a very blunt person, this too annoys people.
Me, I tend to offend people by being blunt... Haven't actually annoyed too many that way (Not compared to the numbers I offended)
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on May 04, 2011, 07:10:25 PM
I have -4 kudos already...I guess it's the nature of me unavoidably being a Troll here at HAF. :)
I'm actually surprised at that. I have had a few arguments with you but I do like you and the way you are able to hang in there despite the slagging off that your belief or bible gets.
In real life I am much more agreeable, I kind feel that I am here (on this forum) to learn and sometimes push a little so that I can get a real honest response. I do hate it when theists simply talk about scripture rather than refer to their thoughts or feelings on the matter. If I wanted to know scripture I would read it. I am here more to learn about cultures and people's beliefs, or thoughts.
It's funny that there are a few here that say they are shy. I am the shyest person that I have ever meet. You'd think by 37 I would have grown out of it. I have peculiar habits. I struggle to look at new people in the eye, sometimes when talking to strangers I will put my hand on my face, scratch my nose or forehead, i didn't realize until my wife pointed it out to me, now I don't do it so much. When I think about it, it's probably a weak attempt to cover my eyes and hide.
Once when my wife and and first child and I went to a Yum Char and had to share a table with strangers. My child did actually put her hand up to cover the line of sight between her and the strangers. It was quite odd to see and made me feel sad. I really hope she doesn't inherit my shyness.
I don't think I'm more or less agreeable online. I do think I'm more open. At least on the topic of this forum. It's nice to be able to slow the pace of conversation so as to have time to think and form a clear response.