Happy Atheist Forum

I expect most of you will have heard of The Darwin Awards (http://www.darwinawards.com/) website. That site celebrates people who exit this mortal coil in spectacular ways by accident. However, the atheists here have the choice of how to leave this mortal coil without fear of mythological retribution. So how would you like to leave and at the same time gain a singular posthumous reputation?

There are however rules to your 'Spectacular Suicide'

1) Only you must die.
2) Bystanders can not be killed or significantly endangered.
3) There must be as many witnesses as possible.
4) There should ideally be an element of humour and/or pathos in your exit.
5) Collateral material damage is allowed, as long as it does not endanger the witnesses.
6) Creativity is desirable.

So how would you make your passing memorable for decades after the event?  

I'd get on the roof of a to-be-demolished sky scraper where I'd hang myself. Just as the big red button is pressed, I jump off with the rope and the neck and all the good stuff. The point is to see what would be the first to kill me - the short drop and the sudden stop or the long one.  

Nice, yes?  

Quote from: "Asmodean"I'd get on the roof of a to-be-demolished sky scraper where I'd hang myself. Just as the big red button is pressed, I jump off with the rope and the neck and all the good stuff. The point is to see what would be the first to kill me - the short drop and the sudden stop or the long one.  

Nice, yes?  

Yes that is quite creative, but if the short drop killed you you'd never know if the long drop would have done would you?

I harbor an idea of paddling off down some wickedly difficult river when I attain decrepitude, it's not a very practical idea.
I saw documentary of a guy who's plan was to kayak from Tasmania to New Zealand.  This is one of the many bits of water that are the most wicked in all the world, they probably all are on their day.  He filmed himself, five minutes in he was in tears waving to wife and young child, he admitted as I recall his fear he'd never see them again.  He got to within a day of reaching New Zealand, it wasn't spectacular, more a tragic example of an obsessive personality.

Quote from: "Tank"...if the long drop would have done would you?

That's where Darwin Awards come in... Because if not for that point, that there would make Science Daily  

Now on a completely topical note I think I would hire a helicopter and swan-dive into the Fukushima nuclear plant hopefully landing in one of the reactors. Now I know there would only be a limited 'live' audience but I would hope the plummet would be news worthy, particularly as I would hire a second helicopter to film my spectacular exit!

Quote from: "Asmodean"

Quote from: "Tank"...if the long drop would have done would you?

That's where Darwin Awards come in... Because if not for that point, that there would make Science Daily  :headbang:

step 1: fake death.

2: hold funeral.

3: half way through reverend's speech, burst out of coffin and declair "I'm alive!"

4: explode, showering audience in blood.

5: funeral continues.

Quote from: "Melmoth"step 1: fake death.

2: hold funeral.

3: half way through reverend's speech, burst out of coffin and declair "I'm alive!"

4: explode, showering audience in blood.

5: funeral continues.

:hail:

Quote from: "Melmoth"step 1: fake death.

2: hold funeral.

3: half way through reverend's speech, burst out of coffin and declair "I'm alive!"

4: explode, showering audience in blood.

5: funeral continues.

Would you please elaborate on your first step? How would you fake your death?
[spoiler:1a1seyoe]Elaborate is an acceptable word to use in the sentence above, yes? Still learning English.[/spoiler:1a1seyoe]

Quote from: "Cecilie"

Quote from: "Melmoth"step 1: fake death.

2: hold funeral.

3: half way through reverend's speech, burst out of coffin and declair "I'm alive!"

4: explode, showering audience in blood.

5: funeral continues.

Would you please elaborate on your first step? How would you fake your death?
[spoiler:2o030f5d]Elaborate is an acceptable word to use in the sentence above, yes? Still learning English.[/spoiler:2o030f5d]

Perfect use of the word.

Quote from: "Tank"Perfect use of the word.

Yes it was, but your helicopter plan is overly elaborate.

Quote from: "Cecilie"Would you please elaborate on your first step? How would you fake your death?

Well, first I would fake my death

Second, I would hold a funeral

Third, I would have a lookalike of me burst out of the coffin and declair "I'm alive!"

Fourth, the lookalike would explode, showering audience in blood.

Fifth, the funeral would continue.

and so on.

EDIT: also your english is fine.

Quote from: "The Magic Pudding"

Quote from: "Tank"Perfect use of the word.

Yes it was, but your helicopter plan is overly elaborate.

As I can't fly I'd have to get above the reactors somehow, I think its perfectly ok.

You could always jump into a large field of pigs and be eaten bit by bit  

Quote from: "The Magic Pudding"Yes it was, but your helicopter plan is overly elaborate.

Can you elaborate on how death by helicopter can be too elaborate?  

Quote from: "Melmoth"

Quote from: "Cecilie"Would you please elaborate on your first step? How would you fake your death?

Well, first I would fake my death

Second, I would hold a funeral

Third, I would have a lookalike of me burst out of the coffin and declair "I'm alive!"

Fourth, the lookalike would explode, showering audience in blood.

Fifth, the funeral would continue.

and so on.

That didn't answer my question...

Hire a massive industrial woodchipper.
Haul it up to someone/something I disagreed with.
Aim.
Hop in.

I always thought it would go down well at a wedding.

If we're going for as painful as possible, may I suggest...

(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fjustsickshit.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2007%2F09%2Ftorture-saw-2.jpg&hash=5ec1fc933a22dd0b436ede9f8824271723f20374)

I'm not sure it counts as suicide though. Of course the person being sawn in half agreed to it.

Run into an F5 tornado.  Of course it wouldn't be very public... until someone found my videotape.

Following on from Asmo's demolition idea. I would wait until the demolition were ready then I'd grab the igniter unit and then run into the building and bring it down on myself. Death and burial all in one!

Quote from: "Cecilie"That didn't answer my question...

It did; I just need an infinite regress of perfect lookalikes jumping out of coffins and exploding. So it does sort of bend the rules in that I'm not supposed to hurt anyone else... but then, I don't count doppelgangers as people in their own right. If you look like me, talk like me, walk, act, smell, sound and think like me, then you are me, and that's that.

Quote from: "SSY"Hire a massive industrial woodchipper.
Haul it up to someone/something I disagreed with.
Aim.
Hop in.

I always thought it would go down well at a wedding.

Be sure to consider the safety features of these things.  If you go feet first and then flail about and hit reverse or stop when at thigh level, well it's going to be unpleasant, but still spectacular.  It would be good for a protest, inadequate medical services for example, much better than self immolation.

Quote from: "The Magic Pudding"

Quote from: "SSY"Hire a massive industrial woodchipper.
Haul it up to someone/something I disagreed with.
Aim.
Hop in.

I always thought it would go down well at a wedding.

Be sure to consider the safety features of these things.  If you go feet first and then flail about and hit reverse or stop when at thigh level, well it's going to be unpleasant, but still spectacular.  It would be good for a protest, inadequate medical services for example, much better than self immolation.

Thanks for the concern man.

I would go to Mecca, put on a yarmulke, stand on the top of the Kaaba and shout "kosher bagels for sale!"

Quote from: "OldGit"I would go to Mecca, put on a yarmulke, stand on the top of the Kaaba and shout "kosher bagels for sale!"

:yay:  

Best one so far I think!

Quote from: "Tank"

Quote from: "OldGit"I would go to Mecca, put on a yarmulke, stand on the top of the Kaaba and shout "kosher bagels for sale!"

:yay:  

Best one so far I think!

Ye but there is the We don't eat pigs and you don't eat pigs, why can't we be friends? - thing.

[youtube:1laij87y]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_T4Wk9M2ObE[/youtube:1laij87y]

1.  Find a suitably tall building.  3-5 stories is perfect.

2.  Tie cheese wire or razor wire, or any other sharp and strong wire, around your neck.  Not so tight that it chokes you, but not so loose that it slips off.

3.  Give the wire some slack and tie the other end around a solid object on the roof of the building.

4.  Use any industrial strength adhesive to glue your hands to the sides of your head.

5.  Jump.

Explanation - As you are falling, the sharp wire will run out of slack, but your body will still want to keep going.  This will (hopefully) sever your head, but still leave it in the clutches of your hands.  To any passerby on the sidewalk, it would appear that you killed yourself by pulling your own head off.

I wish this was original, but it's not.  Unfortunately, I have no one to give credit to because it was posted by an Anonymous internet user.

Cheers.