Happy Atheist Forum

It was one of those inspirational emails I get from a very religious friend.  I normally just scan and delete but this one, well half of it just got me to giggling.  No one out here would understand so I had to post... I'm still giggling....

QuoteThe next time you feel like GOD can't use YOU, just remember...
Noah was a drunk
Abraham was too old
Isaac was a daydreamer
Jacob was a liar
Leah was ugly
Joseph was abused
Moses had a stuttering problem
Gideon was afraid
Sampson had long hair and was a womanizer
Rahab was a prostitute
Jeremiah and Timothy were too young
David had an affair and was a murderer
Elijah was suicidal
Isaiah preached naked
Jonah ran from God
Naomi was a widow
Job went bankrupt
John the Baptist ate bugs
Peter denied Christ
The Disciples fell asleep while praying
Martha worried about everything
The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once
Zaccheus was too small
Paul was too religious
Timothy had an ulcer...
AND Lazarus was dead!

No more excuses now!! God can use you to your full potential. Besides you aren't the message, you are just the messenger.

The context of just that section of the email catches me funny, listing all the bible greats and what's wrong with them......  

Quote from: "KDbeads"It was one of those inspirational emails I get from a very religious friend.  I normally just scan and delete but this one, well half of it just got me to giggling.  No one out here would understand so I had to post... I'm still giggling....

Quote...
Abraham was too old
Isaac was a daydreamer
...
Leah was ugly
Joseph was abused
Sampson had long hair...
Jeremiah and Timothy were too young
...
Naomi was a widow
...
John the Baptist ate bugs
Peter denied Christ
The Disciples fell asleep while praying
...
Zaccheus was too small
Paul was too religious
...

No more excuses now!! God can use you to your full potential. Besides you aren't the message, you are just the messenger.

The context of just that section of the email catches me funny, listing all the bible greats and what's wrong with them......  :shake:

Thanks for the laugh. I imagine that my mom will send this one to me shortly.

My mother-in-law subscribes to "Message from God" on Facebook.  It always starts with "God wants you to know..." and then has some message that's supposed to be inspirational.  The problem is, nearly every single message is directly against what the Bible says.  Example... one of them says "On this day God wants you to know that if you relax, it will come. Don’t seek, don’t search, don’t ask, don’t knock, don’t demand - relax. If you relax, it is there. If you relax, God shows you the way."

I thought I was being a smartass when I asked what, exactly, is supposed to come if I relax.  What way am I being shown.  My aunt did one better.  She said that the Bible says if you seek you shall find, that you should seek out God.  She said that "Message from God" was trying to turn Christians into couch potatoes.

I also pointed out to her that her god might be a bit upset at someone putting words into his mouth like that.

Where's Paul/Saul? I want to see the 'you can be a raving murderous lunatic and still be used by God' example.

Paul is on there.... he's too religious.....