Title: How would you cast a movie adaptation of the Bible?
Post by: cthulhuguru on August 09, 2007, 09:33:01 PM
Post by: cthulhuguru on August 09, 2007, 09:33:01 PM
Just saw this one hit Digg:
http://digg.com/movies/Calling_all_Heat ... _The_Movie (http://digg.com/movies/Calling_all_Heathens_How_would_you_cast_The_Bible_The_Movie)
"It'd be great to see how the wittier Atheists, Agnostics, Pagans and other assorted heathens amongst us would cast the literally THOUSANDS of potential roles in a movie adaptation of The Bible. Fire away!"
OP's example is classic: "William H. Macy as Job - The perfect guy to be shat upon".
I'm ready for my closeup
http://digg.com/movies/Calling_all_Heat ... _The_Movie (http://digg.com/movies/Calling_all_Heathens_How_would_you_cast_The_Bible_The_Movie)
"It'd be great to see how the wittier Atheists, Agnostics, Pagans and other assorted heathens amongst us would cast the literally THOUSANDS of potential roles in a movie adaptation of The Bible. Fire away!"
OP's example is classic: "William H. Macy as Job - The perfect guy to be shat upon".
I'm ready for my closeup
Title:
Post by: donkeyhoty on August 11, 2007, 06:06:15 AM
Post by: donkeyhoty on August 11, 2007, 06:06:15 AM
James Earl Jones - voice of God
Linda Hunt - voice of the serpent, or overall narrator
Jeffrey Wright - that Jesus fella
and Shia LeBeouf would be in it, cuz he's so hot right now
Linda Hunt - voice of the serpent, or overall narrator
Jeffrey Wright - that Jesus fella
and Shia LeBeouf would be in it, cuz he's so hot right now
Title:
Post by: Tom62 on August 12, 2007, 09:54:12 AM
Post by: Tom62 on August 12, 2007, 09:54:12 AM
Arnold Schwarzenegger as Samson and Jabba the Hutt as the Beast (Revelations).
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Post by: Will on August 12, 2007, 08:00:08 PM
Post by: Will on August 12, 2007, 08:00:08 PM
Romantic gross out comedy: Adam and Eve
God - Lawrence Fishburne (constant through all the movies)
Adam - Jimmy Kimmel
Eve - Sarah Silverman
Snake/Satan - Adam Corolla
Cain - Andy Dick
Able - David Spade
Rock Opera: Kiss Meets God
Abraham - Gene Simmons
Sarah - Jane Seymore
Isaac - Paul Stanley
Jacob - Tommy Thayer
Disney Shitfest: Joseph!
Joseph - Michael J. Fox
Pharaoh - James Woods
Pharaoh's Wife - Kim Cattrall
Joseph's Brothers - the Waynes Bros.
Action: Plague
Moses - Vin Diesel
Pharaoh - Ving Rhames
Aaron - 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin
The Angel of Death - Dakota Fanning
Joshua - Orlando Bloom
Mob: The Enforcer
Samson - Michael Clark Duncan
Delilah - Angelina Jolie
Victorian Period Piece: Ruth
Ruth - Cate Blanchett
Boaz - Clive Owen
Elimelech - Jeffry Rush
Naomi - Judy Dench
Mahlon - Joseph Fiennes
Chilian - Jude Law
Tarantino Pulp/Cult: King David
Goliath - John Travolta
King David - Sam Jackson ("That is the biggest mother f**king cracker I've ever f**king seen!")
Bathsheeba - Uma Thurman
Authentic Street Drama: Brother Elijah
Elijah - Avery Brooks
Omari - Omar Epps
The Widow - Angela Bassett
Ahab - Taye Diggs
Jezebel - Beyonce
Elisha - Sean Patrick Thomas
...more to come later.
God - Lawrence Fishburne (constant through all the movies)
Adam - Jimmy Kimmel
Eve - Sarah Silverman
Snake/Satan - Adam Corolla
Cain - Andy Dick
Able - David Spade
Rock Opera: Kiss Meets God
Abraham - Gene Simmons
Sarah - Jane Seymore
Isaac - Paul Stanley
Jacob - Tommy Thayer
Disney Shitfest: Joseph!
Joseph - Michael J. Fox
Pharaoh - James Woods
Pharaoh's Wife - Kim Cattrall
Joseph's Brothers - the Waynes Bros.
Action: Plague
Moses - Vin Diesel
Pharaoh - Ving Rhames
Aaron - 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin
The Angel of Death - Dakota Fanning
Joshua - Orlando Bloom
Mob: The Enforcer
Samson - Michael Clark Duncan
Delilah - Angelina Jolie
Victorian Period Piece: Ruth
Ruth - Cate Blanchett
Boaz - Clive Owen
Elimelech - Jeffry Rush
Naomi - Judy Dench
Mahlon - Joseph Fiennes
Chilian - Jude Law
Tarantino Pulp/Cult: King David
Goliath - John Travolta
King David - Sam Jackson ("That is the biggest mother f**king cracker I've ever f**king seen!")
Bathsheeba - Uma Thurman
Authentic Street Drama: Brother Elijah
Elijah - Avery Brooks
Omari - Omar Epps
The Widow - Angela Bassett
Ahab - Taye Diggs
Jezebel - Beyonce
Elisha - Sean Patrick Thomas
...more to come later.
Title:
Post by: rlrose328 on August 13, 2007, 05:02:25 AM
Post by: rlrose328 on August 13, 2007, 05:02:25 AM
Wow, someone has way too much time on their hands... LOL! I love what you've got here, though. Kudos!
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Post by: MommaSquid on August 13, 2007, 07:34:14 PM
Post by: MommaSquid on August 13, 2007, 07:34:14 PM
QuoteAction: Plague
Moses - Vin Diesel
Pharaoh - Ving Rhames
Aaron - 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin
The Angel of Death - Dakota Fanning
Joshua - Orlando Bloom
You nailed it!
Freakin' Dakota Fanning and her screams...like nails on a chalkboard.
Title:
Post by: Will on August 13, 2007, 07:53:20 PM
Post by: Will on August 13, 2007, 07:53:20 PM
I'm glad I'm not the only one that finds her truly frightening. I had nightmares after watching Man on Fire.