Happy Atheist Forum

I made some really tasty beef jerky tonight.  I hope the vegans here don't kill me before I get to finish it.

As long as you don't get one those hill billy jugs, and start blowing on that saxamaphone all night.

hahah, the Aussie thinks jerky is redneck.  Kinda like me thinking he's a cockney.

Quote from: "Thumpalumpacus"hahah, the Aussie thinks jerky is redneck.  Kinda like me thinking he's a cockney.

Well it does seem uncouth, it can't compare with culinary perfection that is the meat pie and tomato sauce.

Oh lordy, when done right, jerky is magic food.  Meat pies are good, but you can't put one in your pocket and go hiking.

Well, you can, but you'll have a helluva time eating it when you get hungry.

Isn't there something, you know, more productive to talk about? I mean really.  

Quote from: "Goathead"Isn't there something, you know, more productive to talk about? I mean really.  :raised:

For instance, this thread gave me the idea and now I'm making me some beef jerky too  

What are you an idiot? This thread's just stupid.

Feel free to quit posting in it, then.  Some of us like cooking, some of us like an occasional bit of idle chatter, and some of us don't carry grudges over from other forums.

Peace!

Quote from: "Goathead"What are you an idiot? This thread's just stupid.

My idiocy or lack thereof is highly irrelevant to this discussion. The stupidity and/or purposelessness of this thread are highly subjective to the reader.

Now, just for the heck of it, by which standards of productivity is this thread unproductive? By whos standards of intelligence am I an idiot? And by whos standards of smarts is this thread stupid?

You might as well provide proof at once since otherwise, that will be my next series of questions. Proof of unproductiveness would be, for instance, not fulfilling key points of the definition of "productive". Proof of idiocy would require comparison of IQ test scores and proof of stupidity would require a somewhat more philosophical approach.

Knock yourself out. I'll wait  :( )

What is beef jerky?

Quote from: "Cecilie"What is beef jerky?

[youtube:3eqgn3k1]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sl8_x39QO3w[/youtube:3eqgn3k1]

Is homemade beef jerky better than the stuff you can get at a store?  I sometimes go out and get some, then after eating the first piece remember why I don't keep my pantry stocked with it.

Quote from: "Inevitable Droid"

Quote from: "Cecilie"What is beef jerky?

[youtube:2jtfvehg]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sl8_x39QO3w[/youtube:2jtfvehg]

...
8 minutes? I'll just :P

Quote from: "Goathead"Isn't there something, you know, more productive to talk about? I mean really.  

Depends what raw materials you have at hand.

(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F_gPMcfaLPNhA%2FSMwbZJD0AxI%2FAAAAAAAADIE%2Fuck7a09nmUc%2Fs400%2FIt%2527s%2BOnly%2BGoat%2527s%2BHead%2BSoup%2B-%2Bjewelcase%2B-%2Bfront.jpg&hash=911e8fd18113bcc301c148b294f328782f8f3313)

Jerky....................................

Damn got to pull the dehydrators back out now............

Thinking teriyaki ginger or maybe mesquite smoked...

 

Mmmm.goood stuff.

I never learned to make it myself. But man, it's one of those things that is just so friggin' good. Guessing it's pretty simple to make, but has a lots of variations. You've made me hungry for it now!

I don't have a dryer, but I do have an adjustable bbq, so I set the pan to max low (about 2 feet, or .6 m for you funny folk), get a good mesquite fire going, wait until the coals are dying, and then smoke for about two hours.  I like experimenting with marinades, including my own homemade bbq sauce, or a mix of Worcestershire & Louisiana hot sauces.  I marinate for two to three days, using thinly sliced top-round or skirt steaks.

eta:  It's really easy, Mac.  The marinade is the hardest part, and that's cake too.

Quote from: "Thumpalumpacus"I don't have a dryer, but I do have an adjustable bbq, so I set the pan to max low (about 2 feet, or .6 m for you funny folk), get a good mesquite fire going, wait until the coals are dying, and then smoke for about two hours.  I like experimenting with marinades, including my own homemade bbq sauce, or a mix of Worcestershire & Louisiana hot sauces.  I marinate for two to three days, using thinly sliced top-round or skirt steaks.

eta:  It's really easy, Mac.  The marinade is the hardest part, and that's cake too.

That makes sense. With BBQ, it's always the rub or the marinade that gives everything its individuality and zip. A good rub or marinade is an art. Fun to play with different ingredients and see how things come out.

Do you find the length of time for the marinade makes a lot of difference once you get beyond a day or day and a half (I would guess so, since you do 2-3 days, but that's another area I have little experience with)? My wife has a real good knack for making these awesome marinades, but I'm a rookie still.

Quote from: "McQ"

Quote from: "Thumpalumpacus"I don't have a dryer, but I do have an adjustable bbq, so I set the pan to max low (about 2 feet, or .6 m for you funny folk), get a good mesquite fire going, wait until the coals are dying, and then smoke for about two hours.  I like experimenting with marinades, including my own homemade bbq sauce, or a mix of Worcestershire & Louisiana hot sauces.  I marinate for two to three days, using thinly sliced top-round or skirt steaks.

eta:  It's really easy, Mac.  The marinade is the hardest part, and that's cake too.

That makes sense. With BBQ, it's always the rub or the marinade that gives everything its individuality and zip. A good rub or marinade is an art. Fun to play with different ingredients and see how things come out.

Do you find the length of time for the marinade makes a lot of difference once you get beyond a day or day and a half (I would guess so, since you do 2-3 days, but that's another area I have little experience with)? My wife has a real good knack for making these awesome marinades, but I'm a rookie still.

It depends on the viscosity.  A thin marinade will penetrate the muscle tissues quicker.  I pierce the meat, but even doing so, a thicker marinade needs more time to permeate the cut, imo.  Plus, there's plenty of times I get it started, and then say, "Aw, hell, I don't want to cook tonight."

Now, steaks and roasts in my house get a minimum of two days, and often four, but I do those in beer or wine, which greatly inhibits bacterial issues.

Quote from: "Thumpalumpacus"It depends on the viscosity.  A thin marinade will penetrate the muscle tissues quicker.  I pierce the meat, but even doing so, a thicker marinade needs more time to permeate the cut, imo.  Plus, there's plenty of times I get it started, and then say, "Aw, hell, I don't want to cook tonight."

Now, steaks and roasts in my house get a minimum of two days, and often four, but I do those in beer or wine, which greatly inhibits bacterial issues.

Cool. Thanks.

Quote from: "Asmodean"

Quote from: "Goathead"What are you an idiot? This thread's just stupid.

My idiocy or lack thereof is highly irrelevant to this discussion. The stupidity and/or purposelessness of this thread are highly subjective to the reader.

Now, just for the heck of it, by which standards of productivity is this thread unproductive? By whos standards of intelligence am I an idiot? And by whos standards of smarts is this thread stupid?

You might as well provide proof at once since otherwise, that will be my next series of questions. Proof of unproductiveness would be, for instance, not fulfilling key points of the definition of "productive". Proof of idiocy would require comparison of IQ test scores and proof of stupidity would require a somewhat more philosophical approach.

Knock yourself out. I'll wait  :( )

So in other words all you can say is "define stupid" and "define productive"? You know that's often used as an excuse by people who are themselves stupid and unproductive.
Eg. Person A: "I feel that atheism regards such and such characteristics"
Person B: "(uh-oh, I don't like where this is going... wait! I know!) Well then DEFINE atheism! (That should serve to distract Person A from their previous point)"

Quote from: "Goathead"So in other words all you can say is "define stupid" and "define productive"? You know that's often used as an excuse by people who are themselves stupid and unproductive.
Eg. Person A: "I feel that atheism regards such and such characteristics"
Person B: "(uh-oh, I don't like where this is going... wait! I know!) Well then DEFINE atheism! (That should serve to distract Person A from their previous point)"

Goathead, you being newer to this forum, I just want to provide you with some information. This is the "Laid Back Lounge" section of the forum. It exists specifically for all the members to chat about anything we care to. If there is a topic in here that doesn't interest a person, that person is completely free to ignore it.

There is no reason whatsoever in posting about how pointless you think a topic is, unless it is in jest, since by their nature, the topics in this section will appeal to just those with interest in specific topics. For example, this topic might or might not interest me. I can post and say something like, "Wow, is this esoteric!" AND THEN go on to make some meaningful addition to the topic.

Please read the forum rules on civility, and enjoy yourself. Thanks.

I do some with a little vinegar, last time was mulberry vinegar.  Damn that was good....

For everything 1/4" and under it's 24 to 36 hours, for anything larger it's around 48.

Going into town today, will come back armed with roast beast for jerky

Quote from: "KDbeads"I do some with a little vinegar, last time was mulberry vinegar.  Damn that was good....

For everything 1/4" and under it's 24 to 36 hours, for anything larger it's around 48.

Going into town today, will come back armed with roast beast for jerky

Looks like someone's going to get her jerky on! Go on with your bad self!  

McQ, I'm not sure if you noticed, but we've already left the topic of how pointless this thread is.

Goathead, stay on topic, please.  You got a jerky recipe or technique to share?

Quote from: "Goathead"So in other words all you can say is "define stupid" and "define productive"? You know that's often used as an excuse by people who are themselves stupid and unproductive.

Are you a troll or something..? And yes, I can define trolling at need.

I am not asking you to define anything, just answer the questions presented to you. The first would require you to specify where the definition of productiveness is breached and how, in a way adequate to demonstrate that this post is un-productive. The second would need a comparison of IQ test scores and the third, you can solve however the hell you like.

Not that I expected much from you, except maybe a demonstration of your own un-productiveness and just how badly that bee stung you in the ass  lol

Quote from: "Goathead"McQ, I'm not sure if you noticed, but we've already left the topic of how pointless this thread is.

Goathead, I'm not sure if you noticed, but my post to you was a very polite reminder and request that you read this forum's rules and act in a civil manner. You may also not have noticed that I am a moderator for the forum.

So let me remind you again to please read the forum rules, and please act in a civil manner.

I shall have jerky in the next couple of days  :yay:

Now to decide on flavor.......  Teryaki ginger sounds good at the moment though mesquite onion is running a close second......

Quote from: "KDbeads"I shall have jerky in the next couple of days  :yay:

Now to decide on flavor.......  Teryaki ginger sounds good at the moment though mesquite onion is running a close second......

Oh, man...mesquite anything sounds great!

Quote from: "KDbeads"I shall have jerky in the next couple of days  :yay:

Now to decide on flavor.......  Teryaki ginger sounds good at the moment though mesquite onion is running a close second......

You should put out the specifics.  I can guess with some of that, but damn, if something is working well, don't hold out on us!

To show my earnestness, here's how I make my barbecue sauce.  Note that this is not only good for jerky, if you thin it out a little, but is really good on chicken, or a slow-cooked pork roast (paint the roast with this sauce, wrap it in foil, an roast over a low mesquite fire for a few hours).  Mind you, if you guys let this secret out, I will set the Mossad on you.  Or the Texas Rangers, whoever has the next Saturday off.

8-12 oz ketchup
2-3 oz yellow mustard
2-3 tbsp brown sugar
3-4 tbsp apple cider vinegar
3-6 cloves of garlic, finely chopped
1/4 - 1/2 cup brown onion, finely chopped
1 small - medium roma tomato, again, finely chopped
Salt, pepper, Worcestershire sauce, tabasco, cumin, chili powder, and paprika

Mix all of this into a saucepan, raise to a soft boil, lower fire, cover, and simmer for two or so hours.  You'll need to season it to your taste, so I haven't given measures on that.  Cooking is like good jazz, anyway.

Teriyaki marinade (3 pounds of meat)
1 bottle low sodium teriyaki sauce (I use this because it's more viscous, sticks to the meat better)
2 tbsp powdered ginger, I'm using china #1 from thespicehouse.com, use fresh if at all possible, not the stuff sitting in the pantry for an eon
1 tbsp garlic juice, I buy the big things of minced garlic, have to use that juice!

Mix it all together and add meats, marinade 12 to 24 hours.  If it's a little too thick add just a touch of soy sauce.  Sometimes I have to add the soy, sometimes I don't
If you add a couple of cheap beers (we use MGD) to it it makes a fabulous marinade for a whole chicken or a bunch of wings (add your hot sauce too), we call it drunk chicken.

Mesquite Onion marinade (for about 3 pounds of meat)
1 really large onion (or 3 medium), pureed in processor or blender or just juice it if you have a juicer
2 tbsp mesquite powder (I'm getting mine from thespicehouse.com)
2 tbsp garlic juice
1/4 cup soy sauce

Mix together and add meats, if you need a little more liquid, add some beer.

Thanks for sharing those recipes!

Thread is garnering win!

Just loaded the dehydrator......................  

I should add..... I opted for teriyaki ginger.......

Another one in case you are needing inspiration:
(never named it)
1 cup soy sauce
1 tbsp liquid smoke
1 can MGD
2 tbsp crushed garlic

Mix and marinate for minimum of 48 hours, the sugars in the beer really penetrate best if you leave it that long.

KD...I can't be too far from you. PM me your address and I'll come give it a taste test for the forum....*droolin' and chucklin'*

A good, simple marinade: equal parts Worcestershire sauce and Louisiana hot sauce.  Pepper the meat with each flip.  Be carefull -- it'll bite you back.

I wonder....if anyone has used Adolph's (or similar) meat tenderizer?

Those can be used, sure.  Myself, I'm not big on their salt content.

I have but the meat gets too flimsy for dehydrating for me.  Plus the MSG in it tends to bother the family in it so we don't use it often otherwise.

Woke up to a house that smelled like teriyaki..... good thing to wake up to on T-day when for the first time in 15 years I'm not making the turkey.

Wish I could use the hot sauce  ;)

Watkins (I think they're like a food version of Avon or Tupperware) used to make a jerky seasoning that was made to mix with ground beef. Something like a pound of meat mixed with a couple of tablespoons of the seasoning, spread thin on a baking sheet and pop in the oven. Baked at around 200 F for like 6 hours or something. It actually turned out pretty good. (Found it at a gun show.)

Try that with a thin-sliced round, or a milanesa, and post back to let us know how it comes out.  The cooking instructions might need  a little more time, but if it's good, it's good.

:drool  :drool  :drool  
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fkrausdesigns.com%2Fimages%2FBlog%2FIMG_0579a.JPG&hash=c48cabfcc6d903778fd53694af99422a11e4c573)

Quote from: "Thumpalumpacus"Thread is garnering win!

Right outside of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, they have a Beef Jerky Outlet. The "beef" jerky is excellent and plentiful, but what interests me the most is the other types of jerky they offer, including alligator, elk, buffalo, venison and, believe it or not, Kangaroo.

:drool

Great, now I want beef jerkey.
And very few places in Norway sell jerky.

I usually get my dad to stock up jerky when he is stateside. Absolutely love the stuff!