Happy Atheist Forum

GAH! so a social issue that is huge at my school is all these teenage pregnancies. in freshmen health our teacher talked about safe sex. but from 6-8th grade all they talked about is how absence of sex is the only way. they even had people from new hope pregnancy center come in and talk about it. AND they were saying that even kissing is bad.
i really wish safe sex would be talked about more at our school. get in peoples minds that hey if youre going to  :brick:

okay rant over. i feel a little better now.

Education, common sense and effective contraception, the model espoused in the Netherlands. Very effective.

If Americans quit making sex such a big deal to kids, they wouldn't do it like crazed animals.  The same thing with drinking and drugs.  Rules are made to be broken.

Actually, as far as I have heard, British kids far outscrew and outdope American ones...  

I know what you mean! I go to a place considered a 'poor' school. We're in a bad neighborhood, and since I started going there I noticed something. Why are there girls around my age pregnant sitting in class with me? I do have to say, I'm proud that they're still in school but still... I have a lot of friends, but I mostly hang out with white kids (I have no idea why, I just blend in with them better >.>) so there isn't much talk about pregnancy. But we do occasionally talk about sex. Being someone asexual, I find the thought of me having sex with a boy (ew...) , getting pregnant (Ew...) and giving birth (Ew! >_<) very unappealing. I only have about three friends who are sexually active currently. I'm a little worried about two of them.

 Friend 1; Oh, she is just fine. I mean, she isn't shy about the idea of having sex and she even tells us about some of her experiences. She uses birth control and knows how to control herself. And she finds AWESOME boyfriends who adore her... where the heck does she get them though... She is so cool, but I wouldn't completely follow her example seeing as she started when she was younger. No pregnancy scares.

 Friend 2; I'm not sure, she had a boyfriend who is twenty two... take in mind that she is fifteen... Meh... She had a pregnancy scare once.

 Friend 3; Oh gosh, I've been afraid for her since middle school. She is a little.. meh.. She can't handle relationships, and I don't think she knows when a boy really loves her or not. She claims she is a 'born again virgin' though... she had like several or more pregnancy scares... probably six.  I don't know, I have not started counting.

  Anyway, I'm not sure.

Quote from: "Cross"I know what you mean! I go to a place considered a 'poor' school. We're in a bad neighborhood, and since I started going there I noticed something. Why are there girls around my age pregnant sitting in class with me? I do have to say, I'm proud that they're still in school but still... I have a lot of friends, but I mostly hang out with white kids (I have no idea why, I just blend in with them better >.>) so there isn't much talk about pregnancy. But we do occasionally talk about sex. Being someone asexual, I find the thought of me having sex with a boy (ew...) , getting pregnant (Ew...) and giving birth (Ew! >_<) very unappealing. I only have about three friends who are sexually active currently. I'm a little worried about two of them.

 Friend 1; Oh, she is just fine. I mean, she isn't shy about the idea of having sex and she even tells us about some of her experiences. She uses birth control and knows how to control herself. And she finds AWESOME boyfriends who adore her... where the heck does she get them though... She is so cool, but I wouldn't completely follow her example seeing as she started when she was younger. No pregnancy scares.

 Friend 2; I'm not sure, she had a boyfriend who is twenty two... take in mind that she is fifteen... Meh... She had a pregnancy scare once.

 Friend 3; Oh gosh, I've been afraid for her since middle school. She is a little.. meh.. She can't handle relationships, and I don't think she knows when a boy really loves her or not. She claims she is a 'born again virgin' though... she had like several or more pregnancy scares... probably six.  I don't know, I have not started counting.

  Anyway, I'm not sure.

K, that confirms it.  I'm never having kids.

Quote from: "Cross"Friend 2; I'm not sure, she had a boyfriend who is twenty two... take in mind that she is fifteen... Meh... She had a pregnancy scare once.

I would assume a 22 year old with a 15 year old girl friend is a loser, who can't handle the challenge of grown up relationships.

Well... Friend number one is currently sixteen and dating a eighteen year old. But she has dated a twenty-nine year old before

Quote from: "Cross"Well... Friend number one is currently sixteen and dating a eighteen year old. But she has dated a twenty-nine year old before

Gotta be honest.  I sort of want to kill the 29 year old.

Quote from: "Cross"Well... Friend number one is currently sixteen and dating a eighteen year old. But she has dated a twenty-nine year old before

I think these dudes are just using your friends for sex. i mean 29?!?!?! thats effed up. so is 22 and 15. i mean the 16 and 18 isnt bad. i mean when i was 16 i dated an almost 19 year old.

dont get me wrong im not saying dont have sex. i mean not gunna lie sex is pretty awesome. but BE SAFE

Quote from: "Tank"Education, common sense and effective contraception, the model espoused in the Netherlands. Very effective.

Why we dont get educated more i am not sure. i guess in large to sex is still a touchy subject and too indecent for the conservative hicks

Quote from: "LarryS"

Quote from: "Tank"Education, common sense and effective contraception, the model espoused in the Netherlands. Very effective.

Why we dont get educated more i am not sure. i guess in large to sex is still a touchy subject and too indecent for the conservative hicks

That's so hypocritical though.  Most people start having sex starting at 13-16, some earlier, some later.  We need to just admit it once and for all, accept it, and then teach our kids how to protect themselves.  Once I started going to school dances in high school, my dad always gave me condoms.  I'm sure if he hadn't, I would not have protected myself.

I don't wanna have sex  

 I think it's kind of... eh... But that doesn't really stop me from reading yaoi and other interesting manga and fanfiction... -chuckles nervously- Sorry, I'm kind of the generic fan-girl

  And it was pretty interesting how it worked. The twenty-nine year old guy already had kids... like two... and she broke up with him. She already had sex with him when she was... fifteen, I think? I perhaps fourteen, I'm not sure.

  Anyway, I'm not interested in sex. I know what it is, and what they do. The idea is kind of a turn off for me though.

Quote from: "Cross"I don't wanna have sex  

 I think it's kind of... eh... But that doesn't really stop me from reading yaoi and other interesting manga and fanfiction... -chuckles nervously- Sorry, I'm kind of the generic fan-girl

  And it was pretty interesting how it worked. The twenty-nine year old guy already had kids... like two... and she broke up with him. She already had sex with him when she was... fifteen, I think? I perhaps fourteen, I'm not sure.

 Anyway, I'm not interested in sex. I know what it is, and what they do. The idea is kind of a turn off for me though.

It's interesting to find there are a few asexuals about. I had never heard the term until a few years ago when a lady on a forum in Australia mentioned it. The good thing about being free of dogma is that you don't have to do what dogmatists expect you to. If you don't want to have sex, which is not the same as not liking sex, you simply don't have to do it because it is fashionable.

One of my daughters has a very high sex drive and spent two years as a ski rep in France an a travel rep in Magaluf. She had her fill of fun and frolics and met her partner in Magaluf. My younger daughter has had one boy friend since she was 16 (23 now). Everybody is unique. The thing is being your age (15 to 17?) one is very much still a 'work in progress', still quite mutable so beware of constraining your future by setting in stone feeling you have now. Be prepared to change, because you will, accept it when it happens. Embrace knowledge and look after yourself as you are important. You may find a 'soul mate' you may not but as you go through life if you are kind to others more often than not they will be kind to you. And on those odd occasions when somebody is not kind in return, walk away, don't try and change them just accept that there are a few nasty, spiteful and mean spirited individuals in the world and it's simply best to avoid them. Choose a charity and support it, when times get hard you will have something of value to focus on.

Sex can be, but isn't always, fun.  Lovin' is great, but it comes with [strike:e2vj4ifi]strings[/strike:e2vj4ifi] ropes attached.

You'll want it when you meet the guy who lights your fires.  Don't worry about it until that time.  Just make sure you educate yourself, and never compromise on protection unless you're sure this is the guy you want fathering your children, and not giving you the clap.

I guess it depends geographically, but kids are already educated.  I agree, though, if kids don't learn this from their teachers and parents, they are going to learn it [incorrectly] from other kids their age.  But lack of education isn't the problem.  If education stopped the kids from engaging in dangerous activities, then the drug issue would have been solved already.

No one's arguing that education is a panacea.  It has, however, been shown to reduce teen pregnancy rates. With America's rate being so outlandishly high, we cannot afford to let any strategy to lie dormant.

Quote from: "Asmodean"Actually, as far as I have heard, British kids far outscrew and outdope American ones...  

As ashamed as i am to admit it, you are correct. Many British teenage girls cotton on to the fact that if they start popping out sprogs at an early age, they'll get free housing and money from the government and won't have to go to school. So, it is a slightly different issue because some kids are actively trying to get pregnant whereas many teenage pregnancies in the US seem to stem from sub-standard education programmes. The damage religion causes doesn't help either.

I'm not saying that's the sole reason for the high instances of British teenage pregnancies, but it is certainly a very large factor. We're the European leader - by far.

I saw a kid with her baby in town the other day. The baby had an earring. It made me feel ill.

Quote from: "karadan"I saw a kid with her baby in town the other day. The baby had an earring. It made me feel ill.

This is an extremely common practice, at least in the US.  It's sort of a rite of passage from mother to daughter.  I think people feel its better to pierce a babies ears at an age where they won't remember any pain.

I'm with Karadan.  It's lame.

Quote from: "DropLogic"

Quote from: "karadan"I saw a kid with her baby in town the other day. The baby had an earring. It made me feel ill.

This is an extremely common practice, at least in the US.  It's sort of a rite of passage from mother to daughter.  I think people feel its better to pierce a babies ears at an age where they won't remember any pain.

But when they're older they'll forget the pain as well, the difference is that when they're older, they have the ability to choose to go through pain for something that's not necessary.

In my experience with my family (my father's side in particular)  sex was a very embarrassing topic.  They never talked about the menstrual cycle and women were taught to take extreme action to cover up the evidence.  They made it sound like it was dirty, gross, and immoral.  Both of my siblings (a brother and a sister) get grossed out at the idea of having oral sex with their spouses.  I don't know how I have such free ideas of sex and sexualty.  This mentality also made it hard to discuss not only sex but other important topics between parent and child.

I now have four children, the oldest is 13.  I've been talking about sex with them as a normal thing whenever the topic arises.  Since they were able to sit up in the bathtub we've referred to their private parts with the correct names.  I tell them to make sure they wash under their arms good, behind their ears, and get their penis/vagina nice and clean.  They are not embarrassed to talk about their private parts with me.  My thirteen year old tells me what happens in his relationship with his girlfriend without being embarrassed.  Right now they are just holding hands and kissing.  Smoking and drugs are also topics we routinely talk about.  Because I don't forbid sex or make it seem immoral and dirty, they are able to come to me and ask questions freely.  I really think if more parents were like this; their children wouldn't feel like they'd have to go to their teenage friends for the answers.  This is why they are getting wrong information, and also because this is the age where you feel like a super-hero and don't think anything bad could ever happen.  The brain is not fully developed at this age and can not foresee the outcome of actions committed.

So the moral of my story is... parents:  it is never too young to talk about embarassing topics with your kids. the longer you're doing it, the better your answers will get and the more practice you'll have when your teenager comes up with the hard core questions.  

Quote from: "legs laney"In my experience with my family (my father's side in particular)  sex was a very embarrassing topic.  They never talked about the menstrual cycle and women were taught to take extreme action to cover up the evidence.  They made it sound like it was dirty, gross, and immoral.  Both of my siblings (a brother and a sister) get grossed out at the idea of having oral sex with their spouses.  I don't know how I have such free ideas of sex and sexualty.  This mentality also made it hard to discuss not only sex but other important topics between parent and child.

I now have four children, the oldest is 13.  I've been talking about sex with them as a normal thing whenever the topic arises.  Since they were able to sit up in the bathtub we've referred to their private parts with the correct names.  I tell them to make sure they wash under their arms good, behind their ears, and get their penis/vagina nice and clean.  They are not embarrassed to talk about their private parts with me.  My thirteen year old tells me what happens in his relationship with his girlfriend without being embarrassed.  Right now they are just holding hands and kissing.  Smoking and drugs are also topics we routinely talk about.  Because I don't forbid sex or make it seem immoral and dirty, they are able to come to me and ask questions freely.  I really think if more parents were like this; their children wouldn't feel like they'd have to go to their teenage friends for the answers.  This is why they are getting wrong information, and also because this is the age where you feel like a super-hero and don't think anything bad could ever happen.  The brain is not fully developed at this age and can not foresee the outcome of actions committed.

So the moral of my story is... parents:  it is never too young to talk about embarassing topics with your kids. the longer you're doing it, the better your answers will get and the more practice you'll have when your teenager comes up with the hard core questions.  

I applaud your parenting 100%! Did the same with my kids. And of course the side effect of your openness with your children is that they become 'the ones to ask' in their circle of friends, thus your knowledge is spread through their cohort and as a result teenage pregnancies will be less rather than more!

i think one awful thing about this subject is the MTV shows that exploit the young pregnancies

Quote from: "FarFromFrozen"i think one awful thing about this subject is the MTV shows that exploit the young pregnancies

I'm in two minds about this. The programmes de-mystify the subject and create an opportunity for debate and discussion with parents and peers. MTV is a commercial organisation and is obliged to make money for its shareholders, that is a fact of life. So why should this preclude them from making programmes on any subject they feel would be enjoyed by their target market?

Quote from: "FarFromFrozen"i think one awful thing about this subject is the MTV shows that exploit the young pregnancies

i totally diagree.
i do not see one awful thing about any of the teen pregnancy shows.
kids need to know what happens when they have sex and the complications that follow.  these shows show them how scary their life can become, how much it would change, how scary the actual birth and delivery is, what happens to that guy that supposedly loved you when you first wanted to have sex,  etc.  i'm so sick of the mentality people have about their kids not seeing these types of show.  i really think they should be madatory-- kids need to know the consequences for adult decisions; actually see with their own eyes true and complete stories from their peers' perspectives.

i've watched a couple with my 13yr old son.  it gives him a chance to ask questions he normally wouldn't think of.

not only that, but i truly believe it gives the teen going through it a chance to tell her story, help others, accept responsiblity of motherhood and adult choices, and get closure on dramatic changes in her life.