Happy Atheist Forum

Personally, it would depend.  I would certainly not marry a fundamentalist or someone who is devoutly religious, as even if that wouldn't cause any harm at the time, eventually it would get to me.  I don't mind if the other person believes in God, as long as they keep it to themselves.

Most certainly no. The main reason being simply that I would not marry. I dislike the idea.

It depends.

Quote from: "Thumpalumpacus"It depends.

Quite right. It would depend if one fell in love with each other or not. Love is ultimately irrational so one would get married. Whether one stays married and/or sane is a whole different ball game.

I also voted "it depends'. I don't see myself having a happy, civil, mature, fulfilling and mutually respectful relationship with a raging fundamentalist. There's too much of a different to overcome with understanding, tolerance, and compromise in that kind of instance. On the other hand, a so-called moderate religious woman who isn't going to try and convert me (just as I would never try to convert someone) or would require our children to choose sides before turning 18, I could see that working.

Quote from: "Asmodean"Most certainly no. The main reason being simply that I would not marry. I dislike the idea.

This is the answer for me, too.  But I also wouldn't date any religious person who is conservative or a fundamentalist.  

I was married once, to a religious person.  The religion bled into every disagreement and into everyday life far too often.  If I wanted a futon instead of a sofa bed it was because I think human beings are just sacks of meat not because it was cheaper and took up less space.  

As to the marriage thing, in my mind, marriage is an ownership contract.  Also, I'm polyamorous, something which marriage required me to suppress.  Heck, I wasn't even allowed to have friends.  Screw that.

If I ever saw her again...

The more religious a person is the less attractive they would be as a partner for me.
Other factors must be considered though.
If I met an immensely wealthy woman, who was funding The Temple Of The Shiny Smiter, I would see it as my duty to marry her and redirect those $s.
I'd have to convince my current wife first, I think I could.
I'm willing to make sacrifices for my lack of faith.

I read the above comments and I understand where you are all coming from.  I will expand upon what I wrote now.

I don't think religion should be a litmus test for marriage, but we all agree that marrying a devoutly pious person would be mistake.  If the other person attends church, then the answer for me is "no", because somewhere down the road, a big argument will erupt; and of course, there is the question of "what values would we instill in our kids".  If the other person is a middlegrounder, while I think half-betting is irrational, I would not mind if the personal overall is ideal.  Both people in almost every relationship will dislike some of the qualities of the other person.  It's a matter of reconciling.

This is an absolute no!  I can't imagine having to hear someone praising an unseen entity.  I would see him as weak, stupid and utterly incapable of thinking for himself.  In other words, I would probably verbally abuse him:)

I would sooner nail my genitals to the table with a rusty railroad spike.

Quote from: "goatwitch"I would see him as weak, stupid and utterly incapable of thinking for himself.  In other words, I would probably verbally abuse him:)

Such relationships can be quite long lasting.

(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2F69WBo.jpg&hash=1aa7e5d2a85cc52077234a10323208e7ec299d36)

The neighbours will talk amongst themselves.
Why does she stay with him, he's such an idiot, doesn't she see it?
He gets into fights, and she ends up paying the hospital bill.
He is no good with money, hasn't got a clue.
He's no good around the house, worse than useless when that storm hit the back room.

I see you've modified my avatar a bit.

Someone's got a little too much free time on their hands.  

I can't help it, I see that head and want to hit it, but I can't.
You do know you are causing me pain don't you?
Accept my offering if you will and give me peace.

I may use Pudding's creation as an avatar elsewhere.  It's exactly the sort of surreal view that I truly love.

I am married to a Catholic. Why do I fall in love with former students?
Because their morality is not based on a stone-to-death penal code.

well put, emissary

Quote from: "theantithesis"I would sooner nail my genitals to the table with a rusty railroad spike.

Which stage of stigmata is that one?

I voted no.  I interpreted religious as meaning theistic, since that seemed the intent.  A person whose religion wasn't theistic would theoretically make sense to me as a mate, all else being conducive.

Atheism provides the springboard for important activities in my life; if curious as to one example, click the link in my sig.  No sincere theist could support these activities, and so I'd see no point in marrying her.  (It turns out I'm heterosexual.)  As for an insincere theist, her insincerity would suffice to ensure my rejection.  Bear in mind we're talking about marriage here, not casual sex, nor casual camaraderie, either of which could make sense to me with respect to a sincere theist, all else being conducive, as the unsavoriness of faith could be overlooked by simply choosing not to discuss it, a workable strategy for casual interactions.
 
A fundamental assumption underlying my response is that marriage needs to make sense.  I've noticed some comments by others that propose irrationality as part and parcel of any decision to marry.  I reject that.  Making sense should be a prime criterion for anything and everything we do.  I'm not suggesting we should emulate the Vulcans of Star Trek fame.  Emotion and appetite are critical factors to be weighed.  But prudence, strategy, and logical consistency are equally critical.

I voted most likely no. My partner of 2 years is a 6 on the Dawkins scale so it is not an issue. I couldn't date/marry a religious person because I just don't think I could honestly give them respect, I would see them as weak minded, gullible, and child-like.

Quote from: "Kylyssa"

Quote from: "Asmodean"Most certainly no. The main reason being simply that I would not marry. I dislike the idea.

This is the answer for me, too.  But I also wouldn't date any religious person who is conservative or a fundamentalist.  

Agreed.
I would not marry for myself. The only way I would consider it is if it meant that much to her, in which case I would get married for her sake.
I also doubt my ability to maintain a healthy relationship with a religious person, regardless of how "fundamental" they are. The only case would be if they were really confused and looking for help, in which case I wouldn't really call them religious.

No, because I'd worry they'd try to convert me!  

For me it's a resounding no, I really have a hard time viewing someone who is religious as also being intelligent. I have nothing against fornicating with fundies though, repressed bible thumpers can be great in the sack and are easily mainpulated

:0

If I was in the marriage market, and if it was the right person, their religion wouldn't even be a consideration so long as they could respect and deal with the fact that I am an atheist.  If they tried to convert me, they wouldn't be the right person, would they?

Quote from: "Lythande"If I was in the marriage market, and if it was the right person, their religion wouldn't even be a consideration so long as they could respect and deal with the fact that I am an atheist.  If they tried to convert me, they wouldn't be the right person, would they?

If they didn't at least try to talk with you about God every once and while, then they wouldn't be a good human being (assuming they believed in Hell and all, and that atheists go to it).

I don't see why not.

Quote from: "nowisforever"I don't see why not.

How are you green?  

Quote from: "Sophus"

Quote from: "nowisforever"I don't see why not.

How are you green?  

Green = new color for newbies

Quote from: "LegendarySandwich"

Quote from: "Sophus"

Quote from: "nowisforever"I don't see why not.

How are you green?  :bananacolor:

Quote from: "Sophus"

Quote from: "nowisforever"I don't see why not.

How are you green?  

I didn't have the settings right.  Had the relative  new user group settings set to "no" instead of "never."  This made a difference because all new users are also part of the registered users group; so with the "no" setting that allowed the registered users settings to override the new user setting.  But it is fixed now.

Quote from: "Will"I also voted "it depends'. I don't see myself having a happy, civil, mature, fulfilling and mutually respectful relationship with a raging fundamentalist. There's too much of a different to overcome with understanding, tolerance, and compromise in that kind of instance. On the other hand, a so-called moderate religious woman who isn't going to try and convert me (just as I would never try to convert someone) or would require our children to choose sides before turning 18, I could see that working.

I don't think I could marry a member of an Abrahamic religion, but I could probably deal with a Buddhist or Pagan. At least I'd know they wouldn't try to shove their views down my throat or try to convert me.

I'm engaged to an amazing young woman who calls herself a Christian, because she "believes what the Bible says, except for this and that and that and this and that and..."

She's a very moral person, but she doesn't get her morals from the Bible. It's her label, and I love her all the same. At the rate things are going she'll probably fall away from believing anything the Bible has to say.

Sure.

I'd say it depends. If the guy is trying to preach to me, my friends, or family. Or if he is waiting to have sex until marriage.(kidding...sort of..ok no I'm not) GONE!


If the guy knows his boundaries, understands that we have different views, and leaves it at that. Sure!

Well, I'm currently with and "idontcareist." She could care less about it all. I probably could if she wasn't to serious in her faith. I tend not to agree with most people on most things, I simply lucked out by finding a woman who doesn't clash with my political and atheistic ideas.

I most likely wouldn't. In all honesty, I have a passionate hatred towards religion. I think I would lose some ounce of my ability to take them seriously if they believed in God. To me, non-belief seems like common sense and believing is just a denial of facts. I respect peoples choice in their religious affiliation, but I would be more inclined to be with someone who was a bit more open-minded.

My girlfriend considers herself spiritual, but she is not religious in any way. It works, and i'm happy. I also get to make lots of Jesus jokes with her. :D

i say yes i would.

because i wouldnt be dumb enough to marry someone who doesnt respect my point of view or world view. to state that someone would try and convert you or clash heads with you all the time because they are religious is silly.
i also think its telling when someone says they couldnt be with a religious person because they would look down upon them or verbally abuse that person. and i always thought it was the religious ones with the closed minds...

I do not want to get married at all (I know this sounds very childish).

This is a conversation that keeps arising a lot with my friends recently with some getting married and the question being asked of those in long-term relationships, eventually filtering down to me the happy selfish singleton. I don't suit life in a relationship, experienced it a bunch of times but quickly get irritated by the situation and have no desire to change my current circumstances.

I'm fine with others getting married especially if I'm invited, they have a free bar at the reception, and have attractive friends or family. Its just not for me.

I think people being of a certain belief is a non-issue when concerning the average believer but an active die-hard within there faith would be an issue but I doubt a proper relationship between that type of person and an atheist would properly develop.

I'm more interested to know would the theists of this forum marry an atheist?

Oh, Crow <3
Trust me, you're not the only one. I think marriage is pointless. I knw some people look forward to it, but i've never even thought about it. I feel like, if you love someone, just BE WITH THEM.

Sadly, I know some people get married for gov benefits, which I am irritated by. Prople who are married shouldn't get benefits.   Marriage should be personal, and the goverment shouldn't be involved.

@Sweetdeath: I support marraige for giving more power to the spouse than the parents. I think that is better because the partner is much more likely to be inline with the wishes and best interest than the parents. As a real life example: My ex-brother in law fought his family in law to get his wife a blood transfusion and won because he was the spouse, had they not been married then she would have died because blood transfusions were against her parents religion even though she was no longer part of the religion.

So as long as living wills get trumped by family when your partner's life is on the line (or your life is on the line), I'm all for marriage to be able to protect your partner.

@Davin: Yeah, that was pretty much the excusr my girlfriend came up with. Though I heard you can make a living will via the hospital without marriage.

I'm sorry to hear about your brother's wife. Glad she's alright. What kind of sick people would let their own daughter die?

Quote from: Sweetdeath on June 07, 2011, 02:21:15 AM
@Davin: Yeah, that was pretty much the excusr my girlfriend came up with. Though I heard you can make a living will via the hospital without marriage.

I'm sorry to hear about your brother's wife. Glad she's alright. What kind of sick people would let their own daughter die?

My girlfriend and I are in the same camp as you on the marriage issue. It is a ritual created by religion and adopted by the state in order to tax it. I will eventually by her a ring because she likes diamonds, on top of the fact it is a nice symbolic way to show our commitment.

We also plan to draw up contracts dealing with the things mentioned above, essentially giving the other power of attorney. Along with wills ensuring we will inherit the estate as opposed to our families.

I think marriage is a waste of money and completely useless though. It also needlessly complicates the breaking up process should the relationship go down the shiter.

You sure you aren't my long lost brother, ThinkAnarchy? <3

We totally think alike. I love my girlfriend very much, so I explained my views on marriage, and she pretty much understands.

I hate how the goverment controls it.

Quote from: Sweetdeath on June 07, 2011, 03:48:40 AM
You sure you aren't my long lost brother, ThinkAnarchy? <3

We totally think alike. I love my girlfriend very much, so I explained my views on marriage, and she pretty much understands.

I hate how the goverment controls it.

I doubt it, I love my meat products.  :P

I think my g/f and I came to the conclusion together. The more we discussed it, the more we realized we didn't like or agree with the idea.

Hehe, I have nothing against meat eaters. ^_^

Aw, that's great though! You know, I was really scared we'd break up because of marriage views, but it's all good.

I find it pathetic when a couple breaks up after so and so years due to one person not wanting marriage. It's not even a commitment issue, because I want no one in the world more than my girlfriend.

I think most people get married because of social pressure due to religious brainwashing.

Quote from: Sweetdeath on June 07, 2011, 02:21:15 AM
@Davin: Yeah, that was pretty much the excusr my girlfriend came up with. Though I heard you can make a living will via the hospital without marriage.

Living will's have yet to stand up well against family wishes, which is the problem. Even an organ donor's wishes can be vetoed by family. So until there is enough legal precedence to ensure the wishes of the person are retained in the event that they are rendered unable to make decisions, marraige really is the better way. Not to mention visitation rights, I couldn't imagine only being able to be there for my partner a few hours a day while she was extremely ill.

So yeah, you should make a living will, just understand that the legal precedence is for the spouses wishes then the families wishes then the persons wishes as stated in the living will to be followed if it gets brought before a judge. The other problems are if the thing that happens is not clearly outlined in a living will, there isn't even a fight to be fought, the family gets the say, unless there is a spouse. So make sure it's detailed and covers everything.

Quote from: SweetdeathI'm sorry to hear about your brother's wife. Glad she's alright. What kind of sick people would let their own daughter die?

JWs. Several times a year there is a case where parents let their child die due to them refusing a simple and very safe medical procedure. To them it's more important to save the soul than the body... so while they're making a poor decision, it's not like they don't love their children. Which is one reason I think that faith and beliefs are dangerous. End tangent.

Quote from: The Magic Pudding on October 25, 2010, 04:37:23 AM
He's no good around the house, worse than useless when that storm hit the back room.

I like how this hypothetical lout has been gifted specific shortcomings.  ;D

---

Of course I would marry a religious person – what a psychological playground!

Christian women are obliged by scripture to completely submit to their husbands. By not subscribing to my godless belief system, they would be making the lifelong decision to disobey the laws of scripture (to accept Christ, one's intentions must be pure; if one makes the conscious decision to sin their entire life, they veto their invitation to the chocolate factory), but by submitting to my belief system they would be doomed to an eternity in hell also.

They are stuck in a catch 22 from the moment you slip the ring on their finger. Passive-aggressive references to their damnation would be a great way to take out a day's worth of work related irritation.

No, but in all serious... If I ever make the marriage mistake, it will be to someone I respect and adore. I can't respect people that choose to base their lives on a desert cult's poorly written game of telephone.

I've only read a few of the posts in this thread, so I'm probably missed out on a shitload, but I'd still like to add my 2c.

I could never date or marry a theist. I am far too outspoken about my lack of belief and my anti-theistic ideologies for a relationship with a religious person to ever work out, and I say that for both my and my hypothetical spouse's sakes.

I didn't  and couldn't it would have been too confusing to my kids ....I think anyway ...I was in a heavy relationship with a religious person before I met husband but it was over when he asked me to convert so we could get married and said "just do it now so I can tell my parents you are a Christian" I said "Nope thanks anyway bye!"

Quote from: Sweetdeath on June 07, 2011, 04:34:24 AM
Hehe, I have nothing against meat eaters. ^_^

Aw, that's great though! You know, I was really scared we'd break up because of marriage views, but it's all good.

I find it pathetic when a couple breaks up after so and so years due to one person not wanting marriage. It's not even a commitment issue, because I want no one in the world more than my girlfriend.

I think most people get married because of social pressure due to religious brainwashing.

There's also the people who get married due to benefits.  I knew I wanted to stay with my wife for the rest of my life, and I wanted her to be covered under my health care.  That alone was worth it to me because of the cost savings over paying for her health care or her getting a job with inferior health care.

I would have said it depends. Do I like the person? Are they compatible with me? Are they cute etc... :P


I am engaged to a Muslim man. He lives in Egypt while I in California. Going to be moving out there in a few years once he's done with his medical residency and we figure out if he has to do a 3 year stint in the Egyptian Army (it's mandatory out there). We met on a Marilyn Manson forum (though Rammstein he prefers over Manson). He knows about my religion. And I've studied his religion (even participated in Ramadan) Though we talk on a daily basis, religion has not been our main discussion. When we do, we tend to go about our perspective belief systems in the same logical manner. We have that in common. I think in general we follow our beliefs in a common true fashion and with complete understanding. We respect each other and don't always agree with each other. But it's kind of nice to be able to joke on each other's religions. I call him Hassan bin laden (his name is Hassan) and he calls me  Devil worshiper. Then we lol. And we love.

But don't get me wrong. When I move to Egypt and we start a family, we will be raising them in the Muslim way of life and religion. BOTH of us have decided on that.

We will also be wearing red and black for our wedding and Sweet Dreams will be our wedding song.  ;D

It depends on various factors.

Well it looks like I missed the voting time frame, so I'll vote with my comment  ;)

It depends. I know my girlfriend of 4 1/2 years labels herself as Christian, and is a fan of Yahweh, but her viewpoints don't seem to sync up with those of other Christians. If she would only read the bible (like I've been nagging her to) I'm fairly convinced she would become an atheist, or at least agnostic theist. She's just another case of rational person raised in an irrational household. I intend to marry her in a few years and wouldn't refrain if she hasn't changed her viewpoint.

Quote from: MinnesotaMike on July 30, 2011, 12:26:16 AM
Well it looks like I missed the voting time frame, so I'll vote with my comment  ;)

I have taken the liberty of unlocking the poll and allowing people to change their vote so that new members can participate and people can modify their view in light of debate. I would have suggested the user do this if they had been a current active user. --- Tank