Happy Atheist Forum

After reading the goblin's intro, I feel like I should add my own style and uniqueness to an introduction...


Hi.

hi

I do feel so loved already.

I'll just add a quick hello, and leave you two to your loven.

Quote from: "Category"I do feel so loved already.

Wanna get some coffee?

:headbang:  :yay:  :bananacolor:  :headbang:  :yay:  :bananacolor:  :headbang:  

Nothing says 'hi' better than dancing Emoji!

Quote from: "PoopShoot"

Quote from: "Category"I do feel so loved already.

Wanna get some coffee?

I'd love to, although I'm curious if there's a section to post more personal questions (looking for advice in my situation)? I've browsed through, just haven't found anything yet. Going back out and looking again though =P.

Quote from: "Category"I'd love to, although I'm curious if there's a section to post more personal questions (looking for advice in my situation)? I've browsed through, just haven't found anything yet. Going back out and looking again though =P.

What is your question?  I bet if you posted in a section that seems fairly appropriate, the mods will move it if they feel it would better belong somewhere else.

EDIT: Removed =D Don't want life's story on the interwebs.

Well, the story you wrote isn't much by which to help and it looks like what you want is advice, so I don't see why an advice thread would be a problem.

Quote from: "Category"

Quote from: "PoopShoot"What is your question?  I bet if you posted in a section that seems fairly appropriate, the mods will move it if they feel it would better belong somewhere else.

Really looking for advice on how to... handle... my current romantic relationship, myself a weak atheist and my significant other becoming more and more of a believer. Becoming more and more uncomfortable seeing my girlfriend go through her own family issues (with as much support as I can give) only to have her turning towards god for more support.

I'm trying to shorten the story, as I don't want to turn an intro thread into an advice column, but really it's just that I'm having trouble understanding why she would choose what I see as complete BS over thinking through problems.

Argh, I'm not even sure what I want really. I'm not comfortable talking about this with her directly as I hardly feel like I understand what the problem itself is. I will NEVER submit to believing in unproven invisible men in the sky, and yet I feel somewhat alone with that ideal. Is it possible to have an open loving relationship with such differing beliefs (or lack there of?)?

VVV Read here if you don't feel like going through my ramblings VVV
Completely shortened, I need GF advice. My GF becoming a hardcore believer after family issues and myself shying away from everything that smells like organized religion.

It need not be a problem, if you two agree to disagree.  Of course, in order to do so, you'll need to analyze what the problem is, and overcome your discomfort in talking about it.

EDIT: Removed =D

She's in emotional throes.  Set aside your concerns about your differences on religion, and help her in her time of need.  Deal with religious differences at another, less volatile time.

EDIT: Partial removal, same as above.

I can assure you, though, this isn't just a one post account. Long have I searched for like minded people, I won't be returning to Yahoo! answers religion and spirituality section anytime soon. Having too much drama and competition between theists and atheists that place was a mad house.

Final note: I know my grammar and sentence structure is nowhere near perfect and may even be painful to read to some, but I'm working on improving it through writing more actively in a blog I may link sometime in the future.

I'm married to a theist and we get along fine.  She needs your support in her time of grief, the rest can wait and won't even be a problem unless one of you makes it a problem.  Don't be the one who makes it a problem and you should be fine, and if you're not fine, it's not because of something you did.  Right now she needs your shoulder, not your brain.

Quote from: "PoopShoot"I'm married to a theist and we get along fine.  She needs your support in her time of grief, the rest can wait and won't even be a problem unless one of you makes it a problem.  Don't be the one who makes it a problem and you should be fine, and if you're not fine, it's not because of something you did.  Right now she needs your shoulder, not your brain.

I'd much rather give her my shoulder, brain is a mess at the moment.

EDIT:: It's also good to see that atheist+theist couples do exist and have (somewhat?)normal lives.
Double EDIT:: My sig too long?

Quote from: "Category"I'd much rather give her my shoulder, brain is a mess at the moment.

Then your course is clear as well as easy: be there for her to cry at and don't say a fucking thing when she says "god..." or "...better place...".  Just comfort her when she needs it and maybe get back to the religion thing in a few months or maybe a year.  Or just don't get back to the religion thing at all.

Is it practical to be in a relationship in which you keep your beliefs hidden to keep the peace? I'm certainly never looking for trouble, but I'd love to be able to talk to her about my (and her) beliefs at times... Or is that why you all are here?

Final edit before bed: Thanks for everything, just by responding you've eased my mind and probably saved my relationship. Looking forward to being an active member in the community.

(Is my siggy too big...gy?)

I didn't mean to imply that you keep them hidden.  My wife and I talk about god all the time.  She knows I don't believe in god at all.  The difference is that we talk about our individual beliefs without prejudice.  She believes in some silly shit.  She knows I think some of the shit she believes in is silly.  She knows I value HER regardless of what stupid shit she believes.

Quote from: "PoopShoot"I didn't mean to imply that you keep them hidden.  My wife and I talk about god all the time.  She knows I don't believe in god at all.  The difference is that we talk about our individual beliefs without prejudice.  She believes in some silly shit.  She knows I think some of the shit she believes in is silly.  She knows I value HER regardless of what stupid shit she believes.

Meant to touch back on that in my edit, slipped my mind. I hadn't intended to presume that you were suggesting shutting everything religion into a back room and locking them up, more that it's just not a common topic in casual conversation.

Quote from: "Category"Is it practical to be in a relationship in which you keep your beliefs hidden to keep the peace?

The short answer is no.  

It will eventually create friction and Christianity usually doesn't stay on its side of the membrane, it tries to leak over into everything around it.  There are exceptions but honesty tends to work best in long term relationships.  If a relationship can't handle honesty, it isn't going to survive in any healthy way.  

I agree that you should wait for her family emotional storm to blow over before talking religion with her.  Wait until there are no raw nerves left and I mean none because nothing will make a person hate you more than making him or her doubt more when bad stuff happening is already making him or her doubt.  

Holy cow, but did I put my foot in it at least one time.  My timing is never good, I'm autistic so I tend to try to stick with logic in unfamiliar situations.  It was a death anniversary (eighth or ninth, I think) and not a recent death.  I asked my ex why he was crying for his dead Grandmother if she was up in Heaven eating buttered rye bread with good sauerkraut and he'd be with her someday.  With those words, I made him think about his faith when he wanted it reinforced most.  I was trying to cheer him up by reminding him that, according to his religion, Grandma was OK and he's see her again, and it totally backfired on me.  So my advice is to keep your mouth closed aside from "there there" and "I love you" and "I'm sorry", etc. if the topic turns to religious ideas before you think she's over her emotional trauma.

Quote from: "chrome":yay:  :bananacolor:  :headbang:  :yay:  :bananacolor:  :headbang:  :yay:  :bananacolor:

Nothing says 'hi' better than dancing Emoji!

(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi222.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fdd154%2Fjeaniebeanie_us%2FHello%2Fdancingcat.gif&hash=06dd8f3480710f55fb9e3bec3d97e5d6a7d0b2b5)

YES!

Quote from: "Category"Is it practical to be in a relationship in which you keep your beliefs hidden to keep the peace? I'm certainly never looking for trouble, but I'd love to be able to talk to her about my (and her) beliefs at times... Or is that why you all are here?

Final edit before bed: Thanks for everything, just by responding you've eased my mind and probably saved my relationship. Looking forward to being an active member in the community.

(Is my siggy too big...gy?)

It can work, so long as you agree to respect each other's right to hold their own opinion.  But you've got bigger fish to fry.  Good luck, and looking forward to seeing further posts from you.

Quote from: "tymygy"(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi222.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fdd154%2Fjeaniebeanie_us%2FHello%2Fdancingcat.gif&hash=06dd8f3480710f55fb9e3bec3d97e5d6a7d0b2b5)

YES!

Yay cute Kittie dancing I like it tymygy I like it A LOT :crazy:  Keep us posted HA forums are awesome  

@chrome
Your threads are what brought me here asking, actually.  

@Kylyssa
Sorry for missing your post, I definitely understand how things can backfire like that in multibelief relationships.
Also @Kylyssa, I've often suspected that I'm slightly autistic especially in these end years of school.

@Anyone I've missed, thanks for your replies+insight =P

I agree with Kylyssa. When I'm having trouble with the Catholic wife, she would most often try to resolve everything by asking me to pray and blame my godlessness for the mess we're in. It leaks around right. By the way, welcome Category. The handle reminds me of Aristotle.

Quote from: "wildfire_emissary"I agree with Kylyssa. When I'm having trouble with the Catholic wife, she would most often try to resolve everything by asking me to pray and blame my godlessness for the mess we're in. It leaks around right. By the way, welcome Category. The handle reminds me of Aristotle.

Thank you wildfire_emissary, I'd say  having my beliefs blamed for anything other than my thought process would really irk me and is one of the things I don't want in my current relationship. Sometimes I have trouble seeing things from the theistic mind set and resort to being extremely bullheaded when it comes to compromising although from the advice everyone has given me here I'm going to aim for more of a "don't ask, don't tell" policy when it comes to religion.

I won't push my way onto her, I'd just appreciate not having her consider me as a godless heathen... which she doesn't... at least not that I know of.

Hi.  

Quote from: "Asmodean"Hi.  :D

Welcome! Aboard, sorry I'm a bit late with the greeting