Happy Atheist Forum

(Borrowed from another forum   )

What would you say if you were able to send a letter to yourself at half your current age?

I think I'd say something like, "Don't worry about it so much. You'll get through all this and you'll be just fine. But now would be a really good time to stop smoking."

Of course, if I'd received a letter like that back then I probably would have said, "Aw, what does he know?"

Mine would say:

Why don't you take some time off from going to church?  Try to answer some of those questions that you've been locking away.  Read a bit about science in books from the science section at the bookstore and library.  It is never a bad idea to learn more.

Give it up dude, she don't want you.

Dear 13 year old Will,

Remember when Mom and Dad said that popularity wasn't important but you didn't believe them because they were unpopular in school? They were right. All the energy you put into fitting in is wasted. School is full of kids who are too afraid to learn about people so they try and fit them all in a box, leading people like you to try and fit in those boxes of preconceptions and forsaking who you really are. It's okay that you like classical music. It's okay that you read comics (some day that will actually be really cool). The less time you spend worrying about the social ladder the easier it will be for other kids on that ladder to become comfortable with you because you're being real. And if they don't like who you really are, then fuck them. You are the author of your story, not them...

...which brings me to the most important thing: you're pretending to believe in god and it's hurting you. I know Mom and Dad have been saying it's all true since before we could even think, but the same thing happened to them and they've never even questioned it. Question it, because you're a bright kid and you know there's something fishy with worshiping the demigod zombie son of a mass murderer by eating flesh and blood while being taught to be ashamed of normal behaviors. Your church is hurting you emotionally and intellectually and your time would be better spent reading or hanging out with friends.

The best stock market investment from 2000 to 2010 is Green Mountain Coffee Roasters, which grew an amazing 7,895%. If you invest $13,000 in Green Mountain in 2000 (get a job!), you'll have a cool $1m in 2010. And the coffee is pretty good, too.

Be good and have fun. And Allison is lying about being pregnant, so don't sweat it. The odds that a condom fail and birth control fail at the same time are negligible.

Mom will never think you've met your potential.  Time to live with it and figure out how best to ignore her constant disappointment.  Your blood pressure will thank you in a few years.

Dear 18 year old me,

Go see a doctor.

Sincerely,
37 year old me.

PS: Been to the 'other side'; God isn't real.

Hi, 24 year old me,

You don't have to be shy towards girls, they are not from another planet. One is having a crush on you right now, but you are afraid of opening your heart and showing your feelings. Let yourself go, she is a real cutey. You are doing fine in your job, but it is time now to show and sell it to other people. If you do that than a great future lies ahead of you. BTW don't take that book-keeping course, that your manager think is good for you. You already know that It is an absolute waste of time and money.

Dump the bitch.

Hey, 14 year old me - your mom doesn't mean to make you feel worthless and she's not really a bad person.  Still, you shouldn't believe everything she says about you - she may not mean to be, but she still is a giant bitch.  Also, encourage your dad to be healthier.  

I would say:
hello older me
dont follow your dreams. You will be miserable. Study something that is sure to get you a job and be happy with it"

Dear tiny me,

Not trying is not a good strategy to avoid screwing up. Oh, and your friends are shitheads, just so you know. But you will get a couple of good ones eventually...

Watch out for blood clots!

Good luck, big me.

I wouldn't write young me a letter.  Life was awful but life has been amazing, too.  I wouldn't want to mess with causality because the wonderful has been too damn wonderful to risk and much of the awful has either made me who I am or been the result of being true to myself.  Besides, by age 20 I was off the streets and most of the worst crap had already happened.  Forget the time travel letter, I just want a new body.

Don't get that haircut.

Seriously, don't.

Quote from: "Kylyssa"I wouldn't want to mess with causality

I'd write one just to mess with causality  

But that's just me... I'm nosey that way.

Dear 13 year old me,
Don't spend the next 10 years not talking to dad.  Mom is telling you lies, and has been since you were 8.  Don't date Kelly, Annie, Sarah, Sasha, or Leah.  They and mom will scar your idea of women for many many years.  Don't get arrested, and do your god damned homework, no matter how stupid you think it is.  Yes you are smarter than most of your teachers, just get through the classes without being thrown out.  When you meet a girl named Nicole...HANG ON TO HER.  She was the right choice.  Buy stock in Apple.
Love,
Me

Dear Old Me

If you are reading this you are not dead.
If this is the case I'm sorry about the dead brain cells.
I know I didn't have a lot to spare, but who knew civilisation would last?
I thought Ronnie Regan would have doomed us for sure.
The pigeon guy said he would.
Anyway it's not all bad, imagine watching The Life of Brian over and over, as if it was the first time.
It could be worse.

Dear 17 year old me.
Smoking isn't cool. Stop now.
Stop messing about with your mates so much and concentrate on your A-levels. Your exams are actually far more important than you think.
Stop swooning over Kelly. She just likes your attention but has no intention of ever being with you. She's also intellectually bankrupt. She will fuck you up.
Wear ear protection when drumming you idiot. Otherwise you'll have permanent tinitus and degraded hearing by the time you are thirty.
Eriko is in love with you, you dummy. She isn't going to wait around though. If you could see what she'll blossom into over the next ten years, you'll already be kicking your own ass.
Oh, and don't worry about what Clive Thorpe has to say about your 'unruliness'. He's an arrogant and petty teacher with personal issues. He needs someone to take it out on and you are a convenient target. Don't let it get to you because, as you'll find out over the next few years, his life isn't as rosy as he currently makes out.

Other than that, you are doing fine kiddo.

Dear 16 year old me

Don't do Physics and Maths A levels just because you think that what will make Dad happy. Do history and english like you actually want. When you start getting depressed go get some help - don't let that doctor fob you off and do go the young person unit because it will save you a lot of trying to unpick the mess in your head as an adult.

Go for it with the band - you ain't gonna make it but you'll have a great time. Sex, drugs and rock n roll are fun - just keep it in perspective. Don't leave Dave with your bag in Barcelona train station - he will get distracted and it will get stolen. Don't bother buying the acid at Reading - it won't work.

You aren't fat - stop thinking that now because otherwise you will be 33 and WILL be that size.

Tell Simon to get lost - you don't need him.

That freak you meet at the Mayfair who messes up your date by asking you to kick him in the face with your big New Rock boots will one day be your husband and father of your child.

13 year old me?

I would definitely tell myself to stop trying so hard to get "popular" people to like me. I learned years later that most of those people aren't worth the aggravation and their insults are meaningless. So what if you're an awkward nerd? You're wonderful just the way you are, stop trying to impress people and live up to their ridiculous expectations. Also, don't date older high school guys. They're jerks. Hrm....oh! If one day some guy gets you to leave college to go live with him, DON'T DO IT! You'll always regret that....And your mother isn't your enemy, you're just nothing like her. It will all be okay in time.

Hey kid, keep looking forward, don't look back, and don't let the dust settle on your feet.

Quote from: "Velma"(Borrowed from another forum   )

What would you say if you were able to send a letter to yourself at half your current age?

Get ready for a lot of shite that is about to happen. And it will be ok.

mine would say, "finger more box."

Dear 8 year old me,

Shits only going to get worse, but keep your chin up. As for people, don't trust Adam, he turns into a criminal and so does Blake. Become better friends with Alex, seriously, he's a good person, and so are his friends.

Don't get a mohawk, you look like an idiot with one.

As for relationships, in a few years, a beautiful woman will ask you out, you're right in saying no, she ends up cheating on all her boyfriends anyway. When you have to pick between the two at Lizzie's b-day party, say neither, you'll be better off.
Control your hormones and try not to say anything too stupid. And Eamon thinks you're gay, that's why he's been making all those really strange comments.

You are completely justified in turning down casual sex if you don't feel comfortable with it, she may not have a gag reflex, but she won't appreciate you for a person either. Watch what you say to Cortney, she's fucking crazy. Molly WILL try to bite you, as will Robyn, beware the teeth. (Btw, what's up with all the girls that bite in our school? It's not that kinky, it hurts.)
Justice will be trying to ride you like a rodeo, but you're right in saying no, Burt is jealous and a psycho.

Just follow your gut feelings, they won't lead you wrong.
Which includes religion as well, explore your doubts, the fear of hell is hard to get over, but you'll be glad later.
Also, you will meet a wonderful norwegian girl on an atheist forum, try not to fuck this up, she's a great person to talk to.

Oh right, Shaleena, Tanner, Hannah, and Brandon all move away in the same year, good luck dealing with it, Debrule is a sexist feminazi, Nert is an idiot, Grim is a musical prodigy, and Zach is a bigot.

The next couple years are going to be hard, but you'll have good times along the way.
I'll end this with a whole bunch of inside jokes you won't understand for a while.

OSOS EN FUEGO!
Dippin' dots! Dippin' dots!
"Hey, wanna buy some crack?"
Smooth Carl
Needle dick
Radiation
Nolan!
So... are you gonna stick it in her pooper?
Snow-Coned
Snawper Rofl
Yeah... If I had a small penis I'd wear tight pants too.
Like a nervous drummer.
Chicken tits!
Get Crunk Pascal, you little rascal.
Nose goes.... Steve!
You know the rules, just don't mix up the order.
Alex... please get off my knee. I can feel your genitalia resting on my thigh... it's uncomfortable.
Matt! Waugh! Matt! Matt! Waugh! Matt?
Like pew-pew kapowy eh-he!

Enjoy.
*Edit-More inside jokes*
Lady Kayate, Methinks mayhap that we might have chance to centipede
I thought I might need these.
They'd kill you for that in wolf city.
My slightly torn leather is bullet-proof.
*horrible coughing noises* I'll be your doctor today.
He plays the musical ass.
"Let's ask what his favorite fruit is" "Oooh ooh! I hope it's me!!"
I've heard Steve has a lot of anchovies, he should defrag his computer.
I'm a flaming hetero
Swoo swoo swoo swoo

Quote from: "skwurll"Dear 8 year old me,

Dude, your life is about to be epic and by 16 you will have done twice as much living as people twice your age.  Have fun.

Hello 15 year old Mike-

This is 30 year old Mike, from the future. Here's some things you need to know. I know you aren't big on taking people's advice and you like to do your own thing, but in doing that you make my life turn in to what it is, and frankly, you are better than this.

1. Don't waste your time on that 4 year relationship from high school to college. There are so many chicks you could have gotten with and had meaningful relationships. You aren't the type (and never have been) to just "get with chicks" so quit acting like it. But you will meet the women I'm talking about when you are living in your dorm... and you'll wonder later on about what might have been if you are still with that girl from high school. It ends with her anyway, albeit amicably, but still, end it earlier.

2. Remember this date: August 19th, 2004. Round up as much spare money as you can, even if you have to borrow it at a high rate of interest and remember this bizarre word- . Buy as much stock as you can on the day of the IPO, it's only $85 a share. On November 2, 2007, sell it, because it only goes down from there. It will be worth just over $700 a share. If you somehow can get a job and get in on the private stock, well, go for it. Over 900 employees became millionaires overnight. Even the janitors became rich.

3. Study astronomy more. You are interested in it now, right? You live away from city lights and up in the mountains where the air is clear, right? So study it... get a job doing it. Trust me, you won't like managing a production crew. It's fucking boring! But it pays decent, probably about as much as you could make as an astronomer of some sort.

4. Watch out for that deer on your way to work. He comes out of no where from right to left. Although, that's only if you haven't taken heed to points 2 and/or 3 above. If you've done those you're either filthy rich or have a different job.

5. It's too late now to be held back a year in school. It would really help you with football. So, just work harder in the weight room, and run more. You're always going to be younger than your classmates, so you just have to be better than them. You have a 2 year starter at a D-1 school locked up, trust me, but you can do better.

6. Find the following bands earlier: Blue October, Longwave, The Parlotones, Angels and Airwaves. Avoid rap. Seriously, it gets really lame once BIG and Pac die.

7. Don't buy a house until you are really ready. Of course, if you will just follow #2, buy several houses. I mean, fuck it, you'll have the money.

8. Go for it on the pole vault pit. You'll know what I mean...

That's it for now. You still have to live your life. Those are just some tips for you.

Regards,
30 year old Mike

Oh, and tiny me..? Here is a little post scriptum:

The lottery numbers on the 60 million night [date] are [insert correct numbers]

 

When Tammy calls you up and wants you to come over for coffee in the middle of a blizzard, go. When you're sitting on the steps talking, don't pretend you didn't hear what she said. Kiss her,dumb-ass. The other girl is going to break up with you anyway! If the break up is a spectacular melt-down, your whole life might change.

Dear 13 year old William.

Stop hanging around east of 72nd street, because even if you aren't wearing colors, the bloods will recognize you, jump you and slice your face, and you'll have a scar for life.

When you go to college don't change your major from economics to that artsy shit.

just fucking don't.

Don't let those church niggas reel you in.   Even if they use the daughter's vagina as bait. (and they will)

and cut the afro off now because within a decade your hairline will prove to be a disloyal cuntsandwich.

I would tell you when the earthquake is gonna hit but I'm gonna love that look on your face when your c.d. shelf topples over, ahahhah you're gonna act like a little bitch.

and oh yea,

there will be a black president in your lifetime.  he won't be the one you'd choose, but trust, you'd rather have him than the guy and gal he's going to run against.

I don't know what else to tell you cuzzo, except for run away from that orphan house as soon as possible. you're gonna do it anyway, and your life will vastly improve within the first week, so if you feel ready before 2001, then just go for it.

Peace

-OG William-

Quote from: "Sophus"Don't get that haircut.

Seriously, don't.

if there are any pictures of this haircut.

PLEASE SHARE.

Those of you who love your children, be careful.

If you do anything to change the course of your life before you had those kids, even if only by a the tiniest bit, you´ll end up with different kids or no kids at all.

What, no one else thinks them lottery numbers are important..?  :P

Quote from: "Asmodean"What, no one else thinks them lottery numbers are important..?  

Yes. If everyone got this opportunity, then the lottery would become useless.

the goblin picks up the ringing phone and says his usual "...Bond...., James Bond...", "...ah pups, still that old line then, well we haven't changed, guess life can't change us..." said the goblin's own voice back at him from the other end of the line only that it was him as he had been in his youth, it continued "... anyway I can hear that I lived, so do I marry and have children then, what do I become of myself...", "...well now..." said the older goblin somewhat used to this sort of thing "...well yes I suppose, all that, you simply throw away all your youthful freedoms willynilly for some trappings of family life and those trinkets of the moneygod, you'll be basically happy but you won't quite fit into your own life it seems, mind you, I wonder who ever neatly fits into growing older...", "...cool, any advice then for my future, pups..." asked the youthful goblin thinking the question would please rather than actually wanting to listen, "...if you don't live your life at surface level, I will be proud of you I guess..." the goblin replied knowing he was wasting his breath, "...sure pups, you take care of myself then, ciou..." as they closed the conversation and put their phones down somehow neither really understood the other but they never had


(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi179.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fw295%2Fcrinny13%2Fart%2FCollectables.jpg&hash=f18f40ee23e05208b4bee7e08d084986b60894c8)
24

Wouldn't it be more expedient to simply notify oneself that one didn't win the lottery and that one's greatest achievement in life will be to finally understand semicolons?

Dear LittleSmoker,

She's cheating. The one after that will cheat. After that one, she's crazy, will cheat, and then stab you when you find out.

Have fun!

Quote from: "Heretical Rants"

Quote from: "Asmodean"What, no one else thinks them lottery numbers are important..?  :P

Quote from: "Asmodean"Who said anything about EVERYone..? The post clearly states "A letter to YOURself... ", not "A letter to every schmuck who can read"  

And every shuck who can read is sending one, meaning the jackpot of six million dollars just go split six million ways.  Congratulations on your refund.

Quote from: "PoopShoot"

Quote from: "Asmodean"Who said anything about EVERYone..? The post clearly states "A letter to YOURself... ", not "A letter to every schmuck who can read"  :evil:

I wouldn't write a letter to myself, mostly because I like who I am.

That being said I would write to an alternate version of me, that would in no way effect me, and this is what I'd say:

"Stop being an asshole and learn how to deal with people before you get too screwed up, stubborn, and pathetic to do anything with yourself. You have a good deal of potential, don't waste it on garbage. You can do math, it is not hard... just boring. It will be more than worth it to spend some time going over the basics.

Also, you really should stop being such an asshole... It's embarrasing. You will never get friends that way, and you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking that.

Just be yourself, and learn to smile. One of the only things that I regret is that I never learned to share my feelings with others. Regardless of what Grandpa says on the matter showing emotion doesn't make you gay, It doesn't make you less of a man, it really does make you a better person. Trust me on this, if you could see how I was living now you'd do whatever you could not to end up that way."

Hello younger me,


 Firstly, I'm telling you now, take up the bass guitar NOW! You'll do yourself a favor and it'll be something you've always wanted to do.

Secondly, PLEASE go and read The Age of Reason by Thomas Paine! Again, you'll save time later on....you'll see what I mean in college.

Lastly, DON'T choose classics as a degree. Do something useful, like French.

Signed by present-day me.

Dear 14 yr old me,

Stop doing drugs. Join a sport.  Don't listen to your friends or your parents, they are messed up in ways you wont understand for a long time.  

Stop stressing about your grades, B's are fine too.  You will never thank your parents or tell them they were right despite what they say.  

Don't date that guy in 2 years, the habits you pick up will almost completely destroy your life.  Don't date the guy who moves in downstairs either (you'll see when it happens), but DO date that guy in undergrad.  He really will like you too but he doesn't tell you until years later.

Oh and you will hate vet school, go for engineering in college even though dad says women cant design race cars.  He's wrong.  In fact he's wrong about almost everything he's ever said.

Spend more time with Sasha (the dog) and Max (my lil bro).  

Relax and just enjoy doing nothing more often.

Oh yeah god is a lie stop the guilt spiral and rise above the fear.  

Love,
Your still figuring it out future self.

Wow that was rly cathartic thanks!

Dear Steve,

Grow up, dumbass! You're 22.5 year old, it's time you stopped acting like you're 12.

You in fact, do not know it all, not even close.

Treat your father with respect. He is right about more things than you know right now. He will die of cancer very soon, and you will regret all the nasty, harsh, cruel words you spoke to him. In the future you will be willing to give anything to take them back. You will be willing to give anything to have him back just the way he was.

Don't date Christian girls. You will want something from them that their devotion to Jesus Christ will not allow them to give you.

Don't be so hard on yourself, you are smarter than you think, better looking than you think, but you are lazy. Exercise more, stay in shape.

Practice the guitar more, you have no innate talent, so you must make up for it with hard work.

Take up judo. It will enhance your skills gained from wrestling and grappling skills are a lot more useful than karate striking skills.

Don't go into library science. It isn't really science, and you won't like working in public libraries given that you are an introvert.

Stop eating so much junk food, it will make you overweight and screw up your health.

Take up yoga, trust me on this one.

Sincerely,

Your 45yr old self.

Quote from: "tunghaichuan"Don't date Christian girls. You will want something from them that their devotion to Jesus Christ will not allow them to give you.

Waithwut?  :P

Quote from: "Asmodean"

Quote from: "tunghaichuan"Don't date Christian girls. You will want something from them that their devotion to Jesus Christ will not allow them to give you.

Waithwut?  :P

Not exactly. Without being crass, let me say that many Christian girls/women view themselves as a bride of Christ until such time that they marry a human man. They think that having sex outside marriage is a sin and is even cheating on Jesus.  :upset: That got old in a hurry. Of course that's what I get for growing up in a primarily fundamentalist Christian state (Kansas.)  

Quote from: "tunghaichuan"Not exactly. Without being crass, let me say that many Christian girls/women view themselves as a bride of Christ until such time that they marry a human man. They think that having sex outside marriage is a sin and is even cheating on Jesus.  :upset: That got old in a hurry. Of course that's what I get for growing up in a primarily fundamentalist Christian state (Kansas.)  :D

Personally, I think "I'm not ready yet" is a far more honest reason... I could even live with that (screwing someone on the side, hush-hush style, probably )

Honesty sucks, lie more, everybody else is.

Quote from: "Tank"Honesty sucks, lie more, everybody else is.

Note how I never mentioned a word about being honest myself and strongly implied the opposite in the parentheses  

Quote from: "Asmodean"

Quote from: "Tank"Honesty sucks, lie more, everybody else is.

Note how I never mentioned a word about being honest myself and strongly implied the opposite in the parentheses  :D

By 25 I was married and had one of my three kids. The trouble is I always assumed the best of people, that often works but it leaves one open to being seriously disappointed by some very nasty individuals.

Quote from: "Tank"

Quote from: "Asmodean"

Quote from: "Tank"Honesty sucks, lie more, everybody else is.

Note how I never mentioned a word about being honest myself and strongly implied the opposite in the parentheses  :D

By 25 I was married and had one of my three kids. The trouble is I always assumed the best of people, that often works but it leaves one open to being seriously disappointed by some very nasty individuals.

If I could find a 'hug' smilie, I'd use it.