Happy Atheist Forum

Do you ever have a hard time understanding what exactly theists are talking about? sometimes it seems they have their own language. I used to understand what christians were talking about in general conversation but now I have no idea. What are some of the theist idioms and loaded words that amuse you or you dont understand?

The ones that amused me were the inventive blasphemies my dad would unload, but something tells me that's not what you're looking for.

Quote from: "NothingSacred"Do you ever have a hard time understanding what exactly theists are talking about? sometimes it seems they have their own language. I used to understand what christians were talking about in general conversation but now I have no idea. What are some of the theist idioms and loaded words that amuse you or you dont understand?

I don't take much notice of what theists are talking about.
I find it odd that services were conducted in latin for so long when so few knew the language.

Quote from: "The Magic Pudding"

Quote from: "NothingSacred"Do you ever have a hard time understanding what exactly theists are talking about? sometimes it seems they have their own language. I used to understand what christians were talking about in general conversation but now I have no idea. What are some of the theist idioms and loaded words that amuse you or you dont understand?

I don't take much notice of what theists are talking about.
I find it odd that services were conducted in latin for so long when so few knew the language.

It's easier to control the flock when the flock are sheep, the whole Lord as a our shepherd analogy is apt in ways it was never meant to be.

The recent use of the word "materialist" is a particular bit of religious speak that annoys me.  They don't mean their own materialism such as their passion for gaining wealth - their buy new every two car or the tons of stuff they'd feel lost without - they mean the recognition of reality and the material world as practiced by non-theists.  So, to live for money and possessions isn't materialism in their eyes but to only believe what exists in the real world is to be a filthy materialist.

This one of those things where it happens all the time yet I am at a loss for an example right now. Kylyssa's right though. That one bugs me.

This isn't an instance of religious loaded language.
I recently enjoyed hearing a conservative politician get what he deserved, after he described a female health minister as shrill.

Quote“Does he want the female vote?”
“He said ’shrill’ several times.”
“Peter lost me at ’shrill’,” says Josie.
“Shrill â€" the sound of a sexist dog whistle.”
Do you want to apologise to the women listening to you who think you’re being sexist by continually referring to Nicola Roxon as “shrill”?
“If Nicola Roxon is ’shrill’ he’s a drone.”

Quote from: "SSY"

Quote from: "The Magic Pudding"

Quote from: "NothingSacred"Do you ever have a hard time understanding what exactly theists are talking about? sometimes it seems they have their own language. I used to understand what christians were talking about in general conversation but now I have no idea. What are some of the theist idioms and loaded words that amuse you or you dont understand?

I don't take much notice of what theists are talking about.
I find it odd that services were conducted in latin for so long when so few knew the language.

It's easier to control the flock when the flock are sheep, the whole Lord as a our shepherd analogy is apt in ways it was never meant to be.

Ya, This one gets to me particularly when they go on about free will and being open minded. The other day a theist had the yahoo tag "bondservant..." He was a black man and I found it particularly disturbing considering that christian theology was used as a rationale to enslave blacks. The jewish singer Matisyahu (who i enjoy) has a line in a song that says "Youre a slave to youself and you dont even know" and I found that strange as well. There is alot of talk of submission and being controlled yet when you suggest that religion is a means of control theists often bark back.

Quote from: "NothingSacred"Ya, This one gets to me particularly when they go on about free will and being open minded.

The "free will" line drives me up the goddamned wall.  How can it be free will when my soul is held hostage?

"It's not natural!" when speaking about homosexuality.  They don't mean that it doesn't happen in nature.  They don't mean the part don't fit.  They don't mean that they can't have children.  What they really mean is, "It's icky."

Some of that would demand clarification, but suffice it to say, when confronted with the defeaters for each of those arguments, the only other option it can be is, "It's icky", but they will never admit that's what it is.

"God is the source for morality." or "God is the source for logic." really means, I can't think of or understand any other way it would come about, so that means goddidit.

When confronted with the circularity of it against the Euthyphro dilemma, I had someone comment on one of my YouTube videos that "Everyone is circular, it is just a question of which ultimate authority which nothing else vindicates (the circularity) comports with reality and is consistent."

In other words, "I haven't heard an argument that I think isn't circular, so I'm going to believe what feels best to me."  I really find the "comports with reality" part to be particularly hilarious.

I have always found "Who created the universe?" to be a particularly ridiculous question.

A favorite question from the religious for the religious: How's your relationship with God?

[spoiler:1iz97kk6]It's strained. I do all the talking.[/spoiler:1iz97kk6]

When I read long-winded attempts to prove god or disprove atheism, I get the feeling some theists don't fully understand the words they themselves are using. I certainly have a hard time understanding their stance. For instance, when Edward the Theist said this in another thread:

This force forms itself topologically into modalities of matter according to its necessary attributes.

It just sounds like gibberish to me. Maybe my grasp of the English language isn't as advanced as I thought, but I get the 'glazed eyes' effect quite often when trying to decipher a description of god by a theist, especially when they try to incorporate pseudo-science into the mix. I've seen posts on this forum where a god proponent has resorted to using equations to describe the existence of their deity. If X = god then Y = yadda yadda...

Maybe it's just me but I see a lot of religious people purposefully overcomplicating their stance and generally throwing lots of syllables into the mix. Maybe it is because the brains of Thumpalumpacus, Martin TK and Sophus are so imposing.

Quote from: "Godlessons""It's not natural!" when speaking about homosexuality.  They don't mean that it doesn't happen in nature.  They don't mean the part don't fit.  They don't mean that they can't have children.  What they really mean is, "It's icky."

Some of that would demand clarification, but suffice it to say, when confronted with the defeaters for each of those arguments, the only other option it can be is, "It's icky", but they will never admit that's what it is.

"God is the source for morality." or "God is the source for logic." really means, I can't think of or understand any other way it would come about, so that means goddidit.

When confronted with the circularity of it against the Euthyphro dilemma, I had someone comment on one of my YouTube videos that "Everyone is circular, it is just a question of which ultimate authority which nothing else vindicates (the circularity) comports with reality and is consistent."

In other words, "I haven't heard an argument that I think isn't circular, so I'm going to believe what feels best to me."  I really find the "comports with reality" part to be particularly hilarious.

You touched on nearly every one of them that give me the shits. They often use the " the anus is used to dispose of waste not for sex" argument. I always thing to myself " I don't know what the hell you urinate out of but I pee out of my vagina and Im pretty sure urine is waste. I also love the fact that christians almost always talk about gay males not lesbians when they express their disgust for homosexuality.  On the god is the source for morality thing it always tickles me that they say " If I didn't believe in god i'd be a rapist and murderer" .

Quote from: "Kylyssa"The recent use of the word "materialist" is a particular bit of religious speak that annoys me.  They don't mean their own materialism such as their passion for gaining wealth - their buy new every two car or the tons of stuff they'd feel lost without - they mean the recognition of reality and the material world as practiced by non-theists.  So, to live for money and possessions isn't materialism in their eyes but to only believe what exists in the real world is to be a filthy materialist.

You sound just like Jesus. I like that.

We all got to eat and no one wants to be trash, but damn if their God isn't petty.

Quote from: "NothingSacred"I don't know what the hell you urinate out of but I pee out of my vagina and Im pretty sure urine is waste .

Uhmmmmm.... anatomy lesson needed here, you do not urinate out of your vagina, you urinate out of your urethra, not the same.  Same as men, though their bodies also use the urethra as a conduit for semen after it is produced.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urethra (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urethra)

Quote from: "KDbeads"

Quote from: "NothingSacred"I don't know what the hell you urinate out of but I pee out of my vagina and Im pretty sure urine is waste .

Uhmmmmm.... anatomy lesson needed here, you do not urinate out of your vagina, you urinate out of your urethra, not the same.  Same as men, though their bodies also use the urethra as a conduit for semen after it is produced.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urethra (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urethra)

Oh ok fair enough i wasnt going to be that specific since it was pretty clear what i meant

:D  :D
I had an interesting consult with my GYN a few weeks ago when she actually had to ask if I knew what and where everything was before she explained a procedure.  When I laughed, she was relived, let me know she's had to explain this to a few too many women lately!

Ok, back to our regularly scheduled thread

since im bored and have nothing better to do im going to translate some christianese....


"You're twisting my words around."

Translation : 1.)You will not comply with my use of loaded language . 2.)You have seen where I was leading with my bate question and I'm frustrated.


" You have a hardened heart"

Translation: 1.) You are cold and unemotional because you rely on logic as a basis for belief. 2.) You are a bad person for not believing in god.

"You just want to keep on living in sin."

Translation: 1.) my religious leader told me that all non believers are bad so it must be true. 2.) I'm upset because you can partake in normal human conduct such as sex without guilt and I cannot.


" Some things just require faith."

Translation: 1.) I cannot verify the claims of my faith but you should still believe me.

"Man has only a finite understanding."

Translation: 1.) Some things just require faith. 2.)I don't know everything about the universe or how we got here so I am content to believe those who make shit up.


"You may not believe but you'll see on judgement day"

Translation: 1.) Ive run out of arguments and Im pissed ... go to hell

"God is a god of love."

Translation: 1.) Im making a choice to ignore all of the fucked up things in my holy book. 2.) I havent read all of my holy book.

"Ive been where you are...youre just lost"


Translation: 1.) Im going to pretend to understand your problems and or the problems I assume you have in order to convert you.

" Knowing god has made me a better person"

Translation: 1.) Im preteding to be happy all of the time because the bible says to so that the world wants what ive got. 2.)I made a choice to correct my behaviour but instead of giving myself due credit i'll attribute it to a god.

" I'll pray for you"
Translation: 1.) I dont actually want to help. 2.)I cant convince you to convert maybe god can. 3.) I think im better than you and feel like being condescending.


Any others folks?

"God moves in mysterious ways"

Translation: 1.) You've spotted the fatal flaws in my dogma, and I'm unable to explain them away.

                   2.) Look, what's that over there?..-------------------->

"Only God can know the answers."

1. you've spotted my obvious contradiction 2. God is so magic he can make contradictions poof away, just like that!

Their talk reminds me of this:

QuoteJudith:You're so small.
Max: Small is good. My powers are able to slip right through the cracks.
Judith: But what if the cracks are closed up?
Max: Then I have a re-cracker, which goes right through that.
Judith: But what if they have some sort of material that re-crackers can't get through?
Max: Then I have a double re-cracker, which can get through anything in this whole universe. And that's the end, and there's nothing more powerful after that, ever. Period.
Alexander: He has a double re-cracker.
Ira: He does sound powerful.

They're aren't looking to talk reason. Just how much bigger and more powerful their imaginary friend is from our inferior human logic! Which obviously, any awesome thing I dream up can crush under his huge spiky tail!!!!

Quote from: "NothingSacred""You may not believe but you'll see on judgement day"

Translation: 1.) Ive run out of arguments and Im pissed ... go to hell

Or: "It worked on me, it might work on you."

Quote"God is a god of love."

Translation: 1.) Im making a choice to ignore all of the fucked up things in my holy book. 2.) I havent read all of my holy book.

Or: "I've been programmed to ignore cognitive dissonance."

Quote" Knowing god has made me a better person"

Translation: 1.) Im preteding to be happy all of the time because the bible says to so that the world wants what ive got. 2.)I made a choice to correct my behaviour but instead of giving myself due credit i'll attribute it to a god.

Or:  "I'm better than you."

"God only helps those who help themselves."

Translation
1)  Use this phrase when you see you an old lady who drops a bag of grocery and a car pull up and the driver blows the horn at her the hell out of the way.
2) Use this phrase when through no fault of their own someone lose their job, their homes, their loved ones, or become sick and turn to anyone just to survive.  Actually, they are just looking for hand-outs because they don't want to work
3) You are not really depressed, you are just lazy
4)  See God doesn't care about you until you do something about it.  Yet, you pray to him when you need his help?  

"The Lord Works in Mysterious Ways"

Translation
1) Means that a chain of fortunate events can be mysteriously explained by mysterious divine being.
2) Use to gloss over something that you really don't understand.  Like how electricity works...
3) Quit bugging me about facts!
4)  I am just too ignorant or lazy to think something through
5) Convenient for explaining just about anything I don't understand but I like any way

Quote from: "deekayfry""God only helps those who help themselves."

Translation
1)  Use this phrase when you see you an old lady who drops a bag of grocery and a car pull up and the driver blows the horn at her the hell out of the way.
2) Use this phrase when through no fault of their own someone lose their job, their homes, their loved ones, or become sick and turn to anyone just to survive.  Actually, they are just looking for hand-outs because they don't want to work
3) You are not really depressed, you are just lazy
4)  See God doesn't care about you until you do something about it.  Yet, you pray to him when you need his help?  :crazy:

Quote from: "Edward the Theist"We all got to eat and no one wants to be trash, but damn if their God isn't petty.

I seem to remember some fantasy tale in which there was this turkish-looking jew who said something about a rich man and a camel and a needle eye...

Now what I don't seem to remember is seeing a theist actually following that word willingly. Why is that, I wonder... Cherries. Let's blame those.